Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse in which a gaslighter undermines and controls another person by deflecting, twisting, and denying their reality. Gaslighting leaves victims second-guessing themselves, unable to make decisions and destabilised by constant shifts in reality.  In this week’s episode, Andrew talks to author and psychoanalyst Dr Robin Stern about gaslighting, and how to pull yourself out of this form of emotional abuse. Andrew and Robin discuss what makes you...

Sex and pornography addiction is on the rise. It can affect young and old, rich and poor, male and female. Those who are in the grip of this type of addiction struggle to create and maintain "real-life" relationships, and their partners may experience feelings of grief and betrayal. In this episode Andrew talks with psychotherapist Dr Paula Hall about pornography and sex addiction. Andrew and Paula discuss: What we mean by “addiction” in this context. How pornography can wreck a couple’s sex...

An anxious attachment style is very common, and can lead to chaotic and unsuccessful relationships. Research suggests that anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviours that get in the way of finding and sustaining love.  In this episode psychotherapist Jessica Baum talks with Andrew about identifying and understanding our attachment style, and building the inner resources required to create more secure, happier relationships.  Jessica Baum is the...

People-pleasing is an ultimately futile and self-defeating approach to life. If we focus on making everyone else happy, we can end up frustrated, confused and resentful. Ironically, in trying to be “Mr Nice Guy”, people-pleasers often end up driven into behaviour that is anything but nice. This week Andrew talks to therapist and author Dr Robert Glover about why people-pleasing is an inauthentic way to exist, and how it often leads to destructive patterns including: Giving to get Difficulty...

If our partner really loved us, wouldn’t everything be a lot easier? If they were “the one”, surely we wouldn’t be losing our minds over towels dropped on the bathroom floor? In this episode marital therapist Dr Cheryl Fraser joins Andrew to discuss the destructive myth of the soulmate. According to Cheryl, there is no such thing as a soulmate. When we set aside the naive expectation that love will conquer all, we can begin to learn the skills required to build lasting intimacy.  Dr Cheryl...

Good therapy changes lives: people stop worrying as much, they make better decisions, they are kinder to themselves and their loved ones, they achieve more at work, they can control their anger, they are able to stop destructive habits, they form loving relationships. This week therapists Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton talk to Andrew about their new book, A Straight Talking Introduction to Therapy. Matt and Graham both experienced the transformative power of effective therapy, and both left...

How can we live with loss? What can we do when death shakes to the core our comfortable belief that life is predictable, the world is just, and people are reliable?  This week Dr Robert A. Neimeyer of the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition joins Andrew to discuss the work of grief. Andrew and Robert discuss the task of rebuilding meaning in the face of death, relationship breakdown or unwelcome life transitions. Robert shares his “six tasks of grief”, which are designed to help...

Have you allowed yourself to explore your sexual fantasies, or do they feel like dark territory that is off-limits? Have you explored them with your partner? This week I talk to Jungian psychotherapist Dr Douglas Thomas about his new book, The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink. We cover: Why it’s so hard to talk about your fantasies with your partner. How Jungian archetypes can provide a language to better understand BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) and kink. Whether BDSM can...

If you were raised in a sad, chaotic home, you will unsurprisingly experience difficulties in your adult relationships. If your parents were cold and distant and discouraged the expression of emotions, you’ll be equally ill-prepared for successful relationships or effective parenting. This week Andrew talks to Dr Samantha Rodman Whiten (also known as Dr Psych Mom) about dysfunctional parenting and how to overcome its complex legacies.  Dr Samatha Rodman Whiten is a clinical psychologist, a...

Estrangement from adult children can be one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life.  This week, Andrew talks to Dr Joshua Coleman, the author of Rules of Estrangement. They discuss: Why estrangement has become so common Why estrangement isn’t a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children. Approaches parents can take to achieve reconciliation with children and grandchildren. Techniques for starting a conversation. Dr...

Could the ancient wisdom of Taoism help us with the emotional challenges of modern life? Author and Taoist priest Greg Ripley believes that a little-known 6th-century Taoist text called the Bai Yao Lu (Statutes of the Hundred Remedies) offers some profound answers. In this episode, Greg and Andrew discuss some of the Hundred Remedies, and how they can help us go with the flow, deepen our meditation practice and find the natural balance in all things. Greg Ripley is a Taoist Priest in the 22nd...

For many women, intense caring and nurturing relationships cause their inner fire to dim, leaving them feeling they have lost themselves. Author and Jungian analyst Lisa Marchiano’s new book is called The Vital Spark: Reclaim Your Outlaw Energies and Find Your Feminine Fire. Lisa wrote the book to help women “break free from the conditioning that has kept them confined to rigid roles and muffled the sound of their soul”. Andrew and Lisa discuss the eight qualities Lisa identifies in the book:...

Menopause is a seismic transition for women, and for their partners. The physical and emotional changes it brings will undoubtedly reverberate into a couple’s sex life.  Irish therapist Beth Wallace believes that this transition can be an opportunity rather than an ending. While decreases in hormones definitely impact women’s bodies in some detrimental ways (which will need management), decreased satisfaction with our sensual and sexual lives is NOT inevitable. Andrew and Beth discuss the...

If you’ve suffered serious trauma, you may well be feeling confused by the sudden ubiquity of the term. The concept of trauma is having its cultural moment in the sun, and seems to be constantly under discussion on social media.  This week, Andrew speaks to Jeremy Fox, a therapist and trauma specialist, about: How to define trauma Different types of trauma Whether it’s helpful to label your trauma. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) as a trauma treatment. Jeremy Fox is a...

I’m excited to launch my new online course for couples: My Best Relationship Tools. This week, I talk with my friend and podcast engineer, Michael Dooney, about how the course can make a difference in your relationship. We discuss: Why couples struggle to communicate How to stop using failing strategies New ways of approaching conflict How to listen, build rapport and make certain both of you feel heard Healing your relationship. Follow Up Find out more about my course: My Best Relationship...

Each and every one of us is awesome in some way - but, we are also human. Author, speaker and entrepreneur Nataly Kogan wrote her Awesome Human Journal to help people learn to honour their humanity, whilst also strengthening their emotional fitness. In this episode, Andrew and Nataly discuss how to: Edit your thoughts and quiet your inner critic Say “no” to things that drain your energy Make joy a priority without guilt Reduce overwhelm and fuel your motivation Talk back to your brain when it...

Hopes, dreams and goals stretch far into the future, but intentions are about the present. Setting intentions means translating your goals into small steps you can achieve right now. Intentionality offers you  a roadmap for progress and personal growth.  In this episode Andrew talks with therapist Erin Vandermore about what it means to set intentions, how to set up intentions that are achievable and positive, and the rewards that come with a regular intention-setting practice.  Erin...

More than one third of adults suffer from insomnia or some other kind of sleep disorder. Left unaddressed, lack of sleep can lead to debilitated health, lowered resilience, and decreased performance in all aspects of life. Psychologist, author and spiritual teacher Philip Carr-Gomm’s latest book is The Gift of the Night. The book combines an extensive knowledge of sleep science and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with techniques drawn from spiritual traditions and insights from the...

Better sex, coping with strong emotions, healing your inner child and harnessing the power of compassion: these were some of the big themes that spoke to The Meaningful Life listeners in 2023. Jon from the Marshall Method team of therapists is Andrew’s special guest for this New Year’s Day episode. Andrew and Jon each choose their favourite episodes, and share highlights from them. These are the episodes chosen by Andrew and Jon as their 2023 favourites: What is the Feeling Trying to Tell Me?...

Christmas isn’t usually thought of as a romantic holiday, but this week Dr Cheryl Fraser explores some of the ways you and your partner can share intimacy, sensuality and thrill over the winter break (however you choose to celebrate). Andrew and Cheryl discuss: Making the most of beautiful moments. Finding the strength to say no.  Planning ahead so things go how you’d like them to Avoiding the people-pleasing trap. Giving your partner a “sexy stocking”. Dr Cheryl Fraser is the author of...

American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson taught a path of self-reliance and self-knowledge. He emphasised self-knowledge and mindfulness as paths to happiness; also, self-reliance, cooperation, non-conformity, originality, adaptability, and receptiveness.  This week, Andrew talks to author and teacher Mark Matousek about how Emerson’s twelve essential teachings hold the answer to living an authentic and fulfilling life, one that is in harmony with our souls. Key principles include: Each...

The idea of “imposter syndrome” has found its cultural moment - we hear it talked about constantly, and many of us resonate with the idea of feeling like a fraud in our work or relationships.  In this episode, Susan Schwartz PhD returns to the podcast to help explore the concept of imposter syndrome in more depth. Susan and Andrew discuss The ways imposter syndrome is rooted in childhood. Painful experiences of imposter syndrome in our romantic relationships The difference between presenting...

Setting boundaries can seem really hard - you wonder how the other person will react, and whether you’re strong enough to manage such a task. You’re perhaps not even sure of the difference between boundary-setting and laying down an ultimatum.  Relationship expert Krystal Mazzola Wood likes to focus on the good news. If you CAN learn to set healthy boundaries, your relationships will grow stronger, livelier and more sustaining.  In this episode Andrew and Krystal discuss how recovering...

Nobody dreams of becoming a stepmother. Yet for Michelle Brown, a blogger and step-parenting expert, being a step-mother feels like something she was meant to do.  Michelle has a unique bond with her step-son, and through her writing she has also become a light in the darkness for many new step-parents struggling to make things work. Michelle is the first to admit, however, that step-parenting can be painful and exceptionally complex.  In this week’s episode, Andrew and Michelle discuss: How...