Welcome to a special miniseries of The Numinous Podcast: Portrait Of A Marriage where we revisit a seminal blog post I published in 2017 on resolving the traps of an Anxious and avoidant Partnership, in other words a relationship where one partner, in this case me, a cis white woman, tends to have a more avoidant attachment style, and the other partner, in this case, Ruben, a cis white man, tends to express a more anxious attachment style. We're going to read through that blog post and give you updates on all the strategies we tried to earn the more secure attachment we have now, what worked, what didn't, and bring the article up to date to let you know where we are in the marriage now. Spoiler alert: it was all very, very worth it.   Notes: The original article, Portrait Of A Marriage. (Yes, It's Mine) Carmen's CV The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity and Love, by bell hooks Stan Tatkin Sue Johnson Journey From Abandonment To Healing YourPersonality.net