Oooh, children, gather around for Vacation Story School. While the clerg' takes a breather, they gather to discuss and share the first chapter of Brother Reid (Reid Faylor's) audiobook novel: Dead Bird Songs. If you wanna skip right to the juicy audiobook chapter, go to 22:29, otherwise enjoy our chat about writing, editing, and peeing in pockets. Subscribe to Reid's novel at www.patreon.com/reidfaylor

We've got some BIG NEWS for all of you congregants courtesy of Brother Reid and Pastor Andrew, so if you're curious as to what's happening with TSMBT, it might be best to tune in now! We love and cherish each of you and remember - THE STORY WILL BE TOLD! ACTION BOYS: https://youtu.be/2DkqRs5TZhU PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt GOODNIGHT MY LOVE BOOK: https://a.co/d/gNjHAOM

Two outcasts are excluded even from apocalypse and must navigate a changed world. If there is truth to be found it is in each other. Return to where your Story began so it may now end. Guest Preachers: Betsy Winchester (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy; VO artist betsywinchester.com IG: @betsywindy; formerly of Murderfist) Steve O’Brien (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy, Xmas Futures short films christmasfutures.com) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 and LPN Deep Dives ACOTAR podcasts, IG...

A child suffers mute the unutterable horrors of our past. Every step forward is a descent. Trust no family or institution that worships the god of your destruction. Guest Preacher: Betsy Winchester (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy; current VO artist betsywinchester.com IG: @betsywindy; formerly of Murderfist and Skulk, The Hulking) Featuring: Marcus Parks, Ed Larson, Holden McNeely, Jackie Zebrowski Curtain Call Liturgical Reading: “Day for Night” The Chalmsening One episode left before...

I’m a BIG SHOT at my job. I belong to an ELITE group of people who make work their ENTIRE identity. My testicles are made out of BRASS and I have NO outside relationships. What IS my job? Oh, I torture a big f*****g worm. If I don’t do it someone else will! Featuring: Holden McNeely as the Taurus Salesman, Priest Ed Larson as Announcer, Man in Coat Jackie Zebrowski as Tomsha Mounting Cro-Crotoa The Story Must Be Told Clip Show Liturgical Reading: “The Fool and the Worm” The Price of Killing...

YUCK. GROSS. I don’t care how we’re related, family member! You aren’t family no more after what you did nuh UH. You’re what my family calls a hot sloppy “turd,” and I’m gonna scrape you off my boot. How did you become such a humble bootscraping? Uh, through CHANGES, bucko. Featuring: Ben Kissel (Last Podcast on the Left, Abe Lincoln’s Top Hat podcasts) as CORY TRUSTING John Moreno as Dr. Greene Betsy Winchester-Parks as Katherine and the Lawyer Andrew Yackira as Doug and Mark Sailor...

Some islands are SCARY—like Nantucket. Other islands will steal your very essence, halve it, and merge it with other unwitting victims—like Nantucket. THIS island? Shhhhh it’s a seeeecccreeeeettttt. Guest Author: Katherine Monasterio (author of The Age of Windpower) The Winners of the Big Surf Competition Are… The Switch Liturgical Reading: “Beneath the Compass Rose” The Return of a Familiar Face An Announcement Changes are coming! And a new Story TOO PATREON:...

Oh bother, I’m a silly old bear. It’d be a SHAME if I were to MEET MY DEMISE. I hope nothing bad happens to me and my ragtag group of interspecies friends! Nothing that could stop us from loving that BOY. Oh bother! Confronting Chalms Chalms’ truth: “The Many Adventures of Chalmstopher Robin” The Public Domain A Prophecy Bags Packed Gosh oh golly what’s gonna happen next? I don’t even know! T-t-tune in NEXT TIME I’ll be different. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH:...

Your father is watching you, and he’s SHAKING his HEAD. What did you do to deserve such a practical assessment? Did you follow your dreams? Probably! Nothing cheeses a dad like the passion of progeny. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 and LPN Deep Dives ACOTAR podcasts, @jackthatwork on Instagram) Guest Author: Libbie Grant (Future Saint of a New Era podcast) Invocation Pastor Andrew’s Changes Liturgical Reading: “God’s Hotel” The Extent of Chalms If I could, I would pick you up...

WOOOOSH! Kaboom! “I gotta fly this big bird REALLY fast!” Wow, aren’t airplanes neat? Gosh, what CAN’T the military-industrial complex do? If there’s anything, I don’t wanna know. Fly a jet into my eye and pop it out my heart, so I die filled with AIRPLANE. Inside Devon’s coma Liturgical Reading: “Cardinal Ed in Top Gunners: Mad Rich” A prophecy PROFOUND We return two weeks from now with a Story for your eager ears to gulp up like a hot hot soup. PATREON:...

Look! A shooting star! Close your eyes and make a wish. Are you doing it? Good … good. What’s that? It feels like someone is stealing your wallet? Shh shh, that’s just the wish doing its thiiing. Hush, child, and next time: remember to carry CASH, baybeeeee. Wishes from Congregants Brother Reid’s Wish: “Truthy Truthy” More Wishes for Cheddar-Tossin ‘Grants Pastor Andrew’s Wish: “Bigger” WAGE-A-WISH HERO OF THE CENTURY: Erica! Devon’s “Wish”: “United States of Wishing” Concluding Remarks In...

It’s always the BOY! The BOY the BOY the BOY! Behind the curtain? The BOY! Under the floor? The BOY! Hiding inside your mouth, yanking on your tongue and poking your tonsils? THE BOY. The only thing better than HIM is a free trial of the new, very real TSMBT Silver Streaming+! It’s the future of content! Featuring: Henry Zebrowski (Last Podcast on the Left) as THE BOY Ed Larson (Brighter Side) as interviewer and paramedic 911 Call Liturgical Reading: The Boy: Omega Rising - A TSMBT Silver...

In this, the 6th and final part of Good Night My Love, we finally say Good Night … but to WHOM? My Love? Be honest: why are you even reading the episode description? Huh, Chester? You KNOW what the deal is. Just honk on in, ya goob! Featuring: MJ Knefel (Page 7) Steve O’Brien (xmas futures) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Betsy Winchester Parks (Murderfist, The Dog The Boy) And John Moreno (Murderfist) as...

No one ever talks about what religion aliens are. Is it Protestant? I bet a lot of them are Methodists. If I met an alien, I’d ask it two questions: 1) are you receptive to internalizing shame? 2) have you heard the good word of the Story? Good Night My Love continues with TEEN SAM. Nothing wrong can happen in a Catholic school! Content warning: self harm, Catholicism. Featuring: MJ Knefel (Page 7) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the...

Grandmas and Grandpas will give you a Bible and then YELL at you. Can’t trust a Grandma to buy the right Cro-Croa, can’t ask a Grandpa to turn off the TV. Ughh, but sometimes: you need ‘em. Today, we return to the Good Night My Love series for the first of three concluding parts. Listen to parts 1-3, episodes 103, 118, and 119 respectively, to catch up and ENJOY. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Featuring: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs...

Wowee wow wow! Is it the false holiday already? Gosh oh f**k, what a blesséd surprise! Join the clergy as we goof and gab our way through the falsest holiday of them all, with nary a commercial or six! That's right, the 522 Club has for THIS EPISODE dropped its patreon veil and is blooming in every ear far n wide OK??? We’ll have a buncha new episodes SOON in the new year. If you even DARE doubt me I will CUSS at you. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS:...

It’s always raining here. The rain will soak you cold, but it is your task that will break you. Freedom is trapped inside the box, and it is everything outside that is a prison. Invocation Petitions Liturgical Reading: “In Violet Light” Concluding Remarks We’ll have a special lil loosey goosey holiday special for ya in a couple weeks. Return! MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Witness as Brother Reid and Pastor Andrew pitch their hot new film experience: Plunk! Is this their big break? Is the church done for? What does it sound like when a battery leaves a human colon? Listen to find out! Meeting Mr. P.P. Brothers “Plunk!” Concluding Remarks In two weeks, tune in for whatever is to FOLLOW. Stock music from Envato.com is used in this episode. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

There are photos of you lost in a drawer, floating in a liminal space, waiting to be seen. You will recognize the face but not the scene, know your age but not the year. Our past is a secret; it is better to pray for loss than for revelation. Invocation Brother Reid’s Big News Liturgical Reading: Rakija Departure Come back in two weeks, and witness our big meeting with Mr. P. P. Brothers! Gosh, maybe we’ll MAKE IT BIG. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS:...

Curiosity killed no cat—it was POISON. That rotten child, that BOY did it. His face is every child’s face Miss Paker will see, as she instructs the children in the Truth of her Lord. Guest Preacher: Julie Rosing (www.ineedana.com) Invocation Children’s Awards Liturgical Reading: Miss Paker’s Cats Closing, Disrobing Fourteen days are required for the Story to regenerate and birth again. Check in and cherish what we spew for youuuu nexxxttttt POSTER: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS:...

An Intruder has intruded upon the livestock, a malefactor produced by dining on death. Yearn for it. Search the brains for its presence, not unlike a gold panner. Yup, real gooey labor, but rewarding. Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Invocation Petitions for Patreon Congregants True Liturgical Reading: An Intruder Invoked Closing, Disrobing In two weeks we will come again to deliver you another profound truth! Or some weird shit. Either/or! POSTER:...

It is vital while listening to this Story to not get sidetracked, lost in the details, or thrown off course from your original aim. To amble, disengage focus, or, in other words, become distracted. No! Pay attention! Lest you forget the reason you began to begin with, from the beginning, until the end of where the beginning began. A Seance Profound Liturgical Reading: It Was A Monday Morning When Arthur Kurtz Came To The Terrible Realization He'd Lost Track Of Time, Making His Day Far More...

BIG SCIENCE NEWS: scientists created the ANNOYING ROBOT beep boop! Uhhh knock knock, who’s there? It’s the future of ROBOT. Look out, because an annoying robot can do what no robot could do before: manage a thriving fast food chain OK??? Guest Preacher: Holden McNeely (Wizard and the Bruiser & Page 7 podcasts, twitch.tv/holdenatorsho) The Clergy’s Wendy’s Order Liturgical Reading: Peter Robot Saves Wendy’s Consumption The next Story is out NEXT WEEK so we stay on DANG schedule...

You are the life of your elders. They go to bed thinking about you. Give them a call. Share your life. Without it, they won’t have one. Guest voices: John Moreno, Betsy Winchester Invocation Dismissals Liturgical Reading: Howard Closing Statements Um, come back ok? Please? The Story is so LONELY without you. You have to PROMISE. Meet the Story here in two weeks you HAVE to. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt