My guest this week is psychologist Dr. Beth Kurland, author of the new book, You Don’t Have to Change to Change Everything: Six Ways to Shift Your Vantage Point, Stop Striving for Happy, and Find True Well-Being (affiliate link). We begin with a calming guided meditation that Beth led. Topics we discussed included: The assumption that not feeling at ease is a personal failure Being with our distress without being swallowed up by it Cultivating well-being in the absence of happiness The...

My guest this week is Dr. Peter Levine, who is well-known for being the developer of Somatic Experiencing. He’s also the author of a new book: An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey (affiliate link), which we focused on in this very enjoyable and meaningful discussion. Peter shared about how his own wounds from early in life were a big part of what led him into the field of trauma therapy. We explored how the healing continues, even now in Peter’s ninth decade. Topics we discussed...

My guest this week for part 4 of our series on midlife is Dr. Tim Windsor. Tim has done many research studies on adult development and how we change in midlife and older age. I took so much from this conversation as Tim described what we know about how to have a great second half of life. Things we discussed included: My guest’s research in lifespan developmental psychology Optimizing one’s potential to live well in later adulthood How Tim came to this area of research The challenges and...

My guest this week is Nick Davies, back for his third time on the podcast. This time we focused on issues related to midlife, as this is part 3 of our series on that topic. Things we discussed included: Nick’s personal backstory and his decision to make a big change in his mid-thirties Asking the right questions that can lead us to fulfillment The danger of “normality” that doesn’t serve us well Waiting for life to open up for you vs. creating the life you want Unhelpful beliefs that can...

My guest this week is Dr. Kieran Setiya, a philosophy professor at MIT and author of Midlife: A Philosophical Guide (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The extent to which midlife is a time of crisis Elliott Jaques’s coining of the term “midlife crisis” in 1965 Data showing that life satisfaction is U-shaped, with a low in middle age Common significant challenges in midlife Past, Present, and Future The feeling of having missed out on other possible lives The tremendous loss...

My guest this week is Dr. James Hollis, a therapist and author of many books, including Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: Common struggles one tends to experience in midlife The part of our psyche (soul) that knows us better than we know ourselves The agenda of the first and second halves of an average-length life Why certain issues tend to arise at midlife and not sooner The Buddha’s experiences...

My guest this week is Dr. Joel Minden, a clinical psychologist, therapist, author of Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss (affiliate link), and frequent guest on the podcast. This conversation focused on men in therapy. Topics we discussed included: The extent to which men tend to be interested in and open to psychotherapy Fears that men might bring to therapy The significant overlap in the issues men and women deal with and what brings them to therapy The challenge of dealing effectively with...

My guest this week is Dr. Michelle Drapkin, a clinical psychologist, therapist, and author of an excellent new workbook called The Motivational Interviewing Path to Personal Change: The Essential Workbook for Creating the Life You Want (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: What motivational interviewing (MI) is and why the name is misleading Ambivalence toward change and how it’s addressed with MI Living our values in the midst of our ambivalence Finding different and more...

My guest this week is Dr. Regine Galanti, a licensed psychologist and author of the amazing new book, Parenting Anxious Kids: Understanding Anxiety in Children by Age and Stage (affiliate link). It was Regine’s second time on the podcast and we had another great conversation. Topics we discussed included: Regine’s fantastic new book Less-frequently recognized signs of anxiety in young kids Why anxious parents often have anxious kids The online information for parents that often makes kids’...

My guest this week is Dr. David Tolin, a clinical psychologist, researcher, author, and expert on effective treatments for many psychological conditions. In this conversation we focused on hoarding disorder, and then segued into a more general discussion about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and other treatment approaches. Topics we discussed included: The continuum of hoarding The diagnostic criteria for when hoarding is considered a disorder Instances of needing to buy a second home...

My guest this week is Nir Eyal, author of the excellent book Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The connection between Nir’s first and second books Nir’s own history of distraction and needing the techniques of Indistractable Using psychological principles to create positive habits the same way social media and advertising companies exploit the principles for their own profit Differentiating between helpful and...

My guest this week is Oren Jay Sofer. Topics we discussed included: Oren’s new book, Your Heart Was Made for This The ways that our minds and hearts are shaped by the world Scarcity Separation Depletion Understanding the roots of suffering and how to relieve suffering Our mistaken belief and wish that consumption will finally provide ultimate fulfillment and satisfaction Oren’s realization at a young age that all of life is in flux Common effects of social media use, and what drives it...

My guest this week is Dr. Paul Kesselman, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Devon, Pennsylvania. Topics we discussed included: The difference between healing and curing My own experience of illness and curing vs. healing A therapy scene from the Oscar-winning movie “Good Will Hunting” Validating pain and then pivoting to what is productive Show about a wrestler born with no arms (HBO?) Reacting to difficulties in life such as a poor night’s sleep How we react to our mistakes...

My guest this week is Dr. Steve O’Brien, author of the excellent new book, The Essential Guide to Treating Child and Adolescent Anxiety (affiliate link). Topics we discussed included: The ongoing epidemic of anxiety among young people Greater anxiety responses to smaller triggers Falling levels of resilience Overstimulation of kids’ bodies and minds The overload of information through social media The critical trio for basic health: sleep, nutrition, exercise Less obvious signs of anxiety...

My guest this week is Rob Bell. I was so happy that I got to speak with Rob. I’ve been a fan of his work for quite a while now—I listen to his podcast all the time and have read a few of his books, and I’ve just found his work so helpful. I  actually had an opportunity to spend a couple of days at the Rodale Institute where Rob was hosting one of his events where about 30 people come and bring an issue, a question, or a stuck point, and one by one we each sit and talk with Rob as the rest of...

My guest this week is Yemado. He’s the director of the Boston School of Boabom, and he’s been teaching Boabom for over 20 years. As you’ll hear, Boabom is a Tibetan system of meditation, relaxation, and self-defense, and this was such an interesting discussion. The topics Yemado and I explored were really familiar ones, and they were also in a whole new context. One of the most valuable parts of this conversation for me was his description of “crashing into yourself” when you pursue...

My guest this week is Brent Franson, an entrepreneur and founder and CEO of a company called Most Days. I met Brent a while back when he had me on his podcast. I really wanted to talk with him after I listened to an episode of his podcast where he described the things that led him to the work he does now, which is focused on helping people make positive changes in their lives. Brent talked about his history of addiction and what helped him overcome it. We talked about self-compassion, which...

My guest this week is Dr. Mitch Abblett. Mitch and I talked about how we can move through anxiety and stress by what he calls “owning the moment.” We explored what that means, how to do it, and maybe most important of all, how to remember to do it. The process itself is really simple—we just bring our attention to the present and let things be as they are. But as I’m sure you know, that’s much easier said than done. Mitch has some really helpful ways to practice more of this style of being in...

My guests this week are Drs. Kelly Yanek and Michel Kinderman. I was truly excited to learn more about their dual therapist model where they see each client together—two therapists with a single client. They described how this approach keeps them interested and engaged at work, and makes them look forward to Monday mornings. I think you’ll find this conversation as fascinating as I did. Topics we discussed included: Kelly and Michele’s unique Dual Therapist Model (DTM) of psychotherapy...

My guest this week is psychologist and author Dr. Jill Stoddard, who recently wrote a book called Imposter No More: Overcome Self-Doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career. Jill and I had a great discussion about feeling like an imposter—why it happens, who’s likely to have the experience, and most important, how to deal with those thoughts and feelings. The solution probably won’t be what you expect because the answer is not to force yourself to think and feel differently. Most...

I’m all alone for this episode. This week I wanted to talk with you about finding the courage you need to take a bold step forward in your life. It could be anything, from continuing your education to changing jobs or starting to date. Anxiety and uncertainty often hold us back when we know we need to make an important change. But they don’t have to. There are effective ways to move through our hesitation so that nothing stops us from living the life we know is calling us. I hope you get a...

This week I'm continuing my series with Dr. Joel Minden, and we discussed a fun and interesting topic: psychotherapists in popular media, including film, TV, and comic strips. We explored what these depictions get right, the challenges of presenting therapy accurately, and why therapists so often are portrayed as buffoons. Specific topics we touched on included: Common therapist tropes in movies and TV shows The movie Mumford Richard Dreyfuss as Leo Marvin in the 1991 film What About Bob?...

This week I'm continuing my series with Dr. Joel Minden, and there's no one I'd rather talk with about how to handle worry. Joel is a true expert on this topic. He offers a compassionate, realistic, and effective set of tools for worrying less so you can redirect your energy toward living well. Specific topics we touched on included: Anxiety vs. worry The implicit goal of anxiety The similarities between obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) Intolerance...

This week I’m continuing my series with Dr. Joel Minden. This time we discussed how much can be accomplished in a single psychotherapy session. Joel and I explored single-session interventions, one-session treatments for phobias, and sudden gains. Topics we touched on included: Goals for the first therapy session The hope that often follows a first session One as the modal number of therapy sessions Shorter treatment protocols, including single session interventions (SSIs) The work of Dr....