I always dreamed that there would be peace on the other side of the rainbow.  I thought that once I was fully out to my family, there would be no more secrets, and everything would be good.  I had always been so terrified and fixated on coming out to my family, that I never really looked beyond that point.  The years that followed were some of the loneliest of my life Coming out of the closet with my family simply meant that I was no longer hiding one aspect of my life.  People talk...

Hello and welcome to Episode 25 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s interview episode, ‘Not defining’. On today’s episode I’m joined with orientation advocate Mark Smith and his wife Victoria.  Mark runs a support site for anyone struggling with their orientation.  He has an expanded heart and focus on humans who may be questioning, undefined, changing, Bi+, or fluid.   Before we jump into our conversation...

I sat in a chair facing my parents who sat on opposite ends of a sofa on the other side of the room. With one glance at my mom’s already watering eyes I knew that I was about to be devastated. My father started out with the words, ‘We have reasons to believe that you may be struggling with same-sex attraction’. This is the start of my toxic outing. Show links: NOTE: Trigger warning for homophobia, religious &. spiritual abuse, and misappropriation of God Ravi Zacharias (RZIM...

On today’s episode I’m joined with author Marc-Henri Sendoz Paradella. Marc-Henri’s new book Toxic Jesus – A Journey from Holy Shit to Spiritual Healing is creating international acclaim in progressive Christian, deconstruction and religious trauma circles. Marc-Henri has a fascinating story of deep faith, questioning, deconstruction and reconstruction. Don’t forget, if you want the chance to win your very own copy of Toxic Jesus all you need to do is subscribe, rate and leave a review...

It’s 2021… we made it!  Hello, and welcome Episode 22 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s story episode, ‘Validate me’. It feels good to be here and to share more of an upbeat and lighter story episode with you today.  And that’s what this episode is all about, validation and feeling good. In today’s story episode I’m shedding many of the awkward, scared, small and unwanted masks of my school years.  This period of my...

Wow... what a rollercoaster of year. As much as we love to pretend that we're in control of our lives, 2020 is definitely a year that proves that 'anything can happen'. It isn't hard to look back on 2020 and say THANK GOODNESS THAT'S OVER. But have you taken the opportunity to look at what you've learned about yourself in the past 12 months? How have you grown as a human in the last year? And maybe even go as far as to think about what's made you proud of YOU in 2020. Like most of us,...

Well... it's Christmas Eve and we can finally see the finish line for 2020. What a strange year... did any of our futurists or experts predict this one? As we head into this break I wanted to put together a quick episode to share Holiday survival tips for LGBTQ2S+ Christians or for anyone who might have all the happy joyous feelings that we're 'supposed to' have at this time of year. I'll be home for Christmas this year and I want to acknowledge how hard that's going to be for me. To...

Trauma is blocked emotional energy that is trapped inside of your body. You need to process it and you need to feel it. What I have learned is that when I repress and deny my feelings and my Knowing, I’m blocking my connection with God and I’m hurting myself… and I’m hurting others. At more than one point in my life I thought it would be easier to leave this world than to feel my feelings, follow my God given Knowing, speak out against those I considered to be in ‘control’ and to share my...

Hello and welcome to Episode 18 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘Scapegoat’. Over the past few weeks on IG and Facebook @MyLightShinesBright our trauma topic of conversation has been around the concept of ‘The Scapegoat’.  This is a relatively new term for me, and it seems like it’s a term that resonates with many that are on similar journeys of trauma recovery, addiction recovery, those deconstructing...

Hello and welcome to Episode 17 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘In the shadows’. Before we get started with today’s episode, I want to be very transparent that this is my first ‘explicit’ episode as this part of my story contains content that may trigger some survivors. In today’s episode I will be talking about sexual assault, rape, trauma and dissociation. I encourage all listeners to be gentle with...

Join Chad Rollo and I as we talk about deconstructing our faith and the importance of being in community with 'fellow travellers' as we journey this wild & windy (and often painful) road towards integrating our faith and sexuality after years of living behind a wall of shame & fear. Growing up so deeply entrenched in an evangelical church-based community and family I know how painful and important questions around faith and sexuality can be.   I desperately wanted to wake up one...

In today's episode I share what it was like for me growing up in the 90’s evangelical church culture and share about one of my worst nightmares coming to life.   And from the many stories, comments and messages that you have been sharing online through FB & IG it is very clear that this period in time wasn’t an easy, joy-filled or shame free period for so many… not matter where we may have lived on the spectrum of gender or orientation. The 90’s evangelical purity culture was an...

Hello and welcome to Episode 14 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘The shift’. In today’s episode I’m joined by best-selling author, podcaster, and PROGRESSIVE pastor Colby Martin.  Colby is passionate about carving out a space within Christianity that includes: a whole-heartedly affirming posture toward LGBTQ individuals, a broader acceptance of other spiritual practices and religious perspectives, an...

In today’s episode ‘Gospel gaslighting’ I share where some of my emotional arrested development started.  Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or group, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking in them cognitive dissonance and other changes, including low self-esteem. In short, gaslighting is another’s attempt to question your ‘Knowing’ or to question your...

Hello and welcome to Episode 12 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, ‘I was wrong’. In today’s episode I’m joined with best-selling author, columnist, Anglican cleric and former nightly television and radio host, Michael Coren.  Michael and I will be talking about his book Epiphany and “what went wrong” on his journey from being the posterboy of Catholic conservatism towards his profound spiritual and personal...

Looking to create a healthy sex life on your own terms?  Matthias Roberts, host of Queerology, therapist and author joins us to share some of his personal experiences with shame AND insights from his new book ‘Beyond Shame'. I really appreciate when a therapist, author and expert on ‘shame’ is able to walk the talk when it comes to vulnerability. The definition of vulnerability that Mattias’ shared that talks about our capacity to be wounded… that shot an arrow that pierced my soul and...

Hello and welcome to Episode 9 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, Seeds of Shame. Before I get started I want to give a big shout out to a few community members who are blowing me away with their sharing, encouragement and insights as we discover, heal and grow forward in love together. Poulami from Lit.Wings in IndiaMark aka NotDefining in the UKSway from Polite but Savage podcast coming out of DubaiHarvey...

In Western cultures we have been trained to label addictions as BAD.  They are something that are undesirable, they hurt, they destroy and they kill.  Our first trained instinct when the topic of addiction comes up is ‘HOW DO WE STOP IT’, ‘how do we get ride of it’, ‘how do we help the person just say no drugs/alcohol/sex/food or whatever’. But what if we took another approach?  What if we looked at our addictions as gifts?  What if instead of immediately jumping into controlling our...

In today’s episode of This Little Light Of Mine I share the part of my story where this project first began.  In today’s episode I take you into my disclosure session with my parents during my stay at a long-term complex trauma and rehabilitation centre in the US. This is where I really started living. I’m thankful that we didn’t really have a Pride Weekend in Toronto this year.  I’m thankful for chaos, anguish and trauma that we are all living through right now.  I’m thankful because I...

Hello and welcome to a special Pride Month BONUS episode of This Little Light of Mine.   In season one we’re talking about a lot of tough topics from trauma to addiction, systemic racism and gender inequality to coming out to conversion therapy. I wanted to take a hot minute to take a deep breath, throw some glitter in the air and talk about a new take on the elusive pride body… to do that I’ve partnered with personal trainer and personal friend Byron Fulkerth.   Byron will be joining...

In today’s episode of This Little Light of Mine I’m going to be speaking with Jon Brower who knows a little bit about NOT CHANGING (as in not changing your sexual orientation, based on what someone else believes SHOULD be true for your life). As I introduced on the last episode of TLLOM, Jon has been through conversion therapy programs four times… yes… FOUR TIMES!  There has been lots in the news recently about conversation therapy. And Jon Brower was intimately involved in the very recent...

Want to know how they hide their abuse? This is some of the 'candy' that our churches are using to lure our kids into their conversion therapy 'trucks'. Learn more about this spiritual, mental, emotional and psychological abuse that is still happening today in Canada, US and around the world Coming June 11

We have another big episode in-store for you today. Here’s what’s coming up… Full show notes available here I’m going to hit pause on my story for this episode to set the record straight around some of the questions that have been coming in. (3:20) Lght background questions (6:34) Does my family accept me? (7:10) Triggered in LA - why are you doing this? (15:50) Offended by the term “gay Christian” (17:22) Are you doing this just because you’re angry? (18:53) What I think we...

One of the big reasons for starting TLLoM is my belief that we grow, heal and shine when we authentically share our stories.  With this belief I want to use this platform to have conversations with other queer people of faith, trauma survivors, people in recovery and people hungry for a deeper spiritual connection in their life. My hope is that today’s episode will spark something inside of you, open your eyes and your heart to seeing something from another perspective and challenge you to...