Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you are able to join me for today's special episode entitled PAUSE. This episode is special to me because I'm trying on some of the things that I've been the learning and sharing this season. I'm taking time to listen to my body, being gentle with myself, and giving myself the time and space to allow the natural ebbs and flows of life. I'm thankful to be surrounded by a loving community...

Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you are able to join me for today's story episode entitled Grief, Loss, Hope, Love One of the more surprising things I discovered during my time in rehab was the duality of recovery. Yes, recovery is learning to stop or let go of behaviours and actions that may no longer be serving you. AND, recovery is also about remembering behaviours and actions that I had almost given up hope for.  For...

In today's episode, I'm joined with the incredible mother and son team, Candace & Riley. Candace and Riley are going to share part of their journey of unconditional love, acceptance, courage, strength & hope, and how they made a decision to come out as a family in the middle of the pandemic.  It is conversations like this and humans like Riley and Candace that give me hope and help to build a vision of the world that I want to live in. Riley and Candace are living examples...

Your perceived challenge with addiction isn’t the problem.  You are not the ‘problem’.  It’s what happened to you that has caused this ‘problem’. The Adverse Childhood Experience Study (ACEs) is population-based clinical evidence that shows that the major factor underlying addiction in adults is childhood trauma.  It is proven that those who suffer from addiction in their adult life are those who had adverse childhood experiences when they were younger.  Have you been introduced to...

By sharing his own personal experience with religious trauma and evolution towards leaving fundamentalism behind, Andrew Pledger was fired from his campus job and expelled from Bob Jones University.  Join our conversation as Andrew shares how his art gave him a unique opportunity to explore how religious trauma has impact his life and how he started his own journey of healing, spiritual growth, and listening to God to become his own hero. Resource List: This I know: A Simple Biblical...

Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you are able to join me for today's story episode entitled Complex Trauma. I need to take a deep breath as I introduce today's episode. This was one of the hardest episodes that I've had to write in the last year. As I took the time to go back through my journals, read through the assignments that I completed while in rehab two years ago, and revisit my massive 'rehab binder' of worksheets,...

"The sexy thing in the #exvangelical world right now is destruction. That's the easiest path, just shoot flaming arrows at the thing, tear it apart, poke holes in it.  Destroying something is deeply satisfying the moment, especially when there is a lot of hurt.  Deconstruction has a lot more intention behind it, it's much more careful in its exploration." Today I'm joined with my personal friend John Emery. John is a former evangelical worship pastor who made the decision to...

Looking back, I can now describe my time in treatment as the most difficult, most exposed, and most rewarding time of my life. I started to pull the wool back from my eyes and began to see how my approach to 'strength' hurt me, hurt others around me, and nearly cost me my life. While in treatment I learned how many of my addictive behaviours and anxiety-producing thoughts were shame-based thoughts that I was not surrendering. Even today much of my fear-based thinking comes from a false...

Are evangelical churches safe spaces for 2SLGBTQ humans? How can a space that may be considered 'unsafe' transform into a welcoming and affirming space? Is it possible to create a safe space for all people? In today's episode, I'm joined with James Sholl, my personal friend and Senior Pastor of Wellspring Worship Centre in Toronto. James helps us explore these questions and much more. One of the things I really appreciate about James' approach is that he is doing the hard and sometimes...

Christmas survival tips for LGBTQ Christians This year has been a doozie for so many of us. And if you're anything like me the holiday season usually amplifies any feelings of loneliness, disconnection, or otherness that I may have swirling around in my head. I know that I'm not alone on this one. For many Queer people of faith, the holiday season can be really hard and really dark. That cheery exterior that we are expected to portray in pictures, at parties, and on social media, that's...

Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you were able to join me for today's story episode entitled Rehab.  In today's episode, I'm taking you on the road with me to Philadelphia where I'm about to check into the trauma-informed rehab facility where I will be living for the next 30 days. Parts of me are still on a high from making the decision to attend, parts of me are terrified of what's right around the corner, and other parts of me...

Hello and Welcome to This Little Light Of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm really glad that you are able to join me for today's interview episode. Today I'm joined with David Laskovski who is joining our conversation on mental health and will be helping us delve a little deeper into the topic of suicide. David developed the HELP model, that provides new tools and resources to professionals in Toronto's Emergency Medical Services to intervene and help those who may be suicidal. Before...

Hello and welcome to This Little Light of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you were able to join me for today's story episode entitled Coming out again. In today's episode I walk you some of the uncomfortable yet necessary events that followed my big decision to JUMP! from S02E05. I'm putting my decision to attend an in-patient trauma-informed rehab facility into action. It's time for me to get vulnerable, out myself in an entirely new way, and have conversations with my...

I'm joined with Bonnie Violet. Bonnie is a trans femme genderqueer spiritual drag artist, digital chaplain and host of 'A Queer Chaplin' and 'Splintered Grace' podcasts.   In today's interview episode Bonnie and I will be talking about the recent Netflix conversation therapy documentary, titled 'Pray Away'.  We'll be talking what we found, helpful, hurtful, and what we hope for, should a possible part two be in the works. Bonnie said it best when she said "Don't pray for me not to be...

In today's story episode, I'm going to take you Peru where my friend Rob from OUT Adventures helped me to experience my own outer discovery adventure and inner journey for the soul. Going into this trip, I had everything on the OUTSIDE that I thought should make me happy, but I wasn't. I was in desperate need of an inner transformation. I needed to find a space within myself where I felt safe enough and brave enough to jump. It was this inner journey with OUT Adventures where I made one...

Hello and welcome to This Little Light Of Mine, my name is James Powell and I'm so glad that you are able to join me for the second part of my conversation with Dr. Mike Rosebush. If you haven't been introduced to Mike yet, I would encourage you to skip back to S02E03, Honey, I think I'm a homosexual. In today's episode Mike will share what happened when he came out while working as a VP at Focus on the Family, his role as a conversion therapist, outing himself again on a national...

Do you have any gay Christian role models or mentors? On today's episode, I'm joined with Dr. Mike Rosebush who describes himself as somewhat of a gay Christian Yoda. In this first part of our conversation, Mike will share how his wild journey of his 'most unusual gay Christian life' got started. In Part 1 of our conversation Mike talks about: growing up with 'John Wayne' as a fatherbeing top of his class in the US Air Force Academyspeaking life, for the first time, at age 30, to a...

I never considered that I might be surrounded by help. For most of my life I’ve been afraid to ask for help, because asking for help meant getting hurt. And as a kid I thought I was supposed to avoid getting hurt. What comes to your mind when the topic of 'asking for help' comes up?  Is asking for help something that comes easy for you? Is asking for help something that you avoid? Or does asking for help depend on the type of help that you need? Is it okay to ask for help moving a...

By finding the courage to ask for the help I desperately needed I slowly started to understand that I wasn’t broken.  I slowly started to understand that I was not alone.  I slowly started to let go of holding onto the control that I thought was keeping me safe.  I slowly started to understand that childhood trauma doesn’t simply disappear.  Trauma morphs, transforms, and continues to inflict harm until we start to face the root of what harmed us. I’m excited to have you join me for Season...

Pride is an inner journey towards ownership of self. This isn’t just an LGBTQ2S+ journey, it’s a journey for everyone. Pride is a journey inward where you ask AND go inside to listen to the internal guidance system that you have been given. The journey inwards toward ownership of self and the outward evolution towards actual diversity and inclusion isn’t for the faint of heart. As we enter another season of Pride, I want to acknowledge the messy, lonely, and sometimes unstable feelings that...

WARNING: content in this episode contains 1) explicit homophobic and transphobic beliefs, positioning, and scripting from Evangelical and Catholic Churches. 2) actual examples of conversion therapy sessions used against LGBTQ2S+ children. 3) politicians promoting the use of conversion therapy. Welcome to a special topic episode on our current fight for a national ban against conversion therapy in Canada. Thankfully this topic probably doesn’t enter the minds of 99% of humans… and yet...

Hello and welcome to Episode 29 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for the final episode of season one!  I can’t believe that it’s already been over a year since I first embarked on this soul-searching journey of healing, forgiveness, and recovery! In today’s final story episode for season one I walk you through the final years of my life leading up to my eventual breakdown and surrender.  TRIGGER WARNING: In today’s episode...

Hello and welcome to Episode 28 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for the second part of my interview with my parents. If you haven’t already listened to the first part of our conversation, I would encourage you to hop back one episode so that you have the chance to catch our full conversation. The response to Ep27 and the first part of our chat has been overwhelming, affirming, and eye-opening.  Thank you for sharing so much...

Hello and welcome to Episode 27 of This Little Light Of Mine.  My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s interview episode. Families can be some of the most complicated relationships that we have.  Adding elements of religion and queerness can be like adding fuel to an already roaring fire. On today’s episode I’m joined with Christian parenting experts, LGBTQ2S+ advocates, and the earthly creators of me… yup, this is the first part of my interview with...