Covering chapters 33 and 34 of Breaking Dawn (how are we almost done?) we finally get to see what the hell J Jenks is all about. Bella survives her encounter in the "ghetto" and J sweats sweatily. Somehow we had the exact conversation LAST WEEK about something that happens in these chapters? I guess we're psychic!

Vampire Avengers Assemble! Today's episode is all our YA dreams with a cool team of hot vampires with special powers. Bella is special and talented and Stephenie Meyer does more racism! Are we even surprised at this point? No of course we aren't. Also why is all the best vampire world lore in the final 10 chapters of the final book?

Juicy plot in this episode! We read chapters 29 and 30 of Breaking Dawn and start unravelling what reason Alice might have had to leave the Cullens with no warning. Bella is... Smart? And now it is time for goo goo gaga special baby zone with Renesmee meeting the extended fam. What is up with her specialness and why does everyone love this little demon baby so much?

We cover chapters 27 and 28 today with such excitement of Alice breaking a vase and Em breaking a Cam. Jasper enjoys being happy :) After a timeskip of all the happy peaceful vampire times, shit hits the fan and Cam makes some predictions about what will happen next.

For chapters 25-26 of Breaking Dawn, Em and Cam dutifully and viciously rant and rave about Jacob making himself yet again a PROBLEM. Time to isekai in to kill this man and end all of our collective suffering. Take a drink every time Emmett makes a sex comment!

In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 23 and 24 of Breaking Dawn and really just rant almost the entire time. Listen. We're already tired of Jacob's claim over Renesmee and we just want Bella to hold her OWN DAMN BABY! And maybe??? Edward could too? For once, Bella's birthday goes well and she likes her present. All it took was some good sex. Also answer our fun little poll and we'll read your responses next time!

WE ARE BACK FOR THE NEW YEAR! In this episode we cover chapters 21 and 22 of Breaking Dawn. We are loving Bella's intro to vampirism! For once she is hot, she is free, she is completely right about everything always, we love to see it. Hating on Jacob is back in fashion again AND Cam gets to read top tier iconic line.

In this episode of Unbitten, Cameron and Emily lose their minds! Breaking Dawn chapters 19 and 20, back in Bella's head again and so many questions we want to ask. At least Bella is immediately horny again!

Chapter 18 of Breaking Dawn aka It's BABY TIME. The most horrific chapter yet, gore and blood and trauma all wrapped up in a little demon baby bundle. But most importantly, how do you milk a vampire?

WE'RE BACK AFTER A SHORT BREAK. Come on we're not actually ending the podcast early. In this episode of Unbitten we are covering chapters 16 and 17, in which Leah is amazing and we are absolutely shipping her with Jacob, then Edward hears baby thoughts and Jacob has to drive away to go be creepy in a park.

We cover chapters 14 and 15 of Breaking Dawn in this episode aka the Blonde Joke era. Jacob is a hilarious narrator actually, and Rosalie and Bella are delulu about this baby. Em is triggered about chromosomes again.

In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapters 12 and 13 of Breaking Dawn where we are so so so excited to have Leah join the pack. Justice for Leah Clearwater! Enjoy a rant about chromosomes, Bella getting her blood sippy on, and of course, every bit of Seth that we can get. Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In this episode of Unbitten, we cover chapters 10 and 11 of Breaking Dawn. In other words it's where things really start getting FUN! Jacob tries to convince Bella not to have her demon spawn, we ask logistical questions about vampires all raising a human baby if she were to have a normal baby instead, and then Jacob AND SETH LEAVE THE WOLF PACK. Look we just love Seth okay. Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In this episode we cover chapter 8 and 9 of Book 2 of Breaking Dawn. IT'S JACOB TIME. Where the chapter titles are finally interesting and you can feel the icky teen boy oozing off every thought in his head. We get a close up look with Quil hanging out with his child bride as well as Bella and her gross pregnancy.

In these final two chapters of Book 1 of Breaking Dawn, Cameron and Emily talk way too much about vomit on account of Bella's vomiting (sorry). We have some headboard breaking and some sex dream crying in these chapters, haven't we all been there before? If only those fade to blacks weren't so faded.

ITS THAT CHAPTER. Post sex sulking Edward. The bliss of Bella and the cringe of Edward. The mormon sex talks. One of those episodes where we really get into the religious bias in how they talk about sex.

Coming to you FROM THE SAME HOME it's us! In this very special episode, Cam travels all the way to visit Em, just to talk more about these silly books. Chapter 4 sees a happy Bella at her wedding, and an unhappy Jacob who proved once again he can't be trusted to be chill. It's sad, it's angering, and it's kind of sweet? Still confused that this book keeps managing to be decent (we have a low bar). Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

Today we cover both chapter 2 and 3 of Breaking Dawn. The chapters in which Edward has to go to a bachelor party while Bella thinks about bloodthirsty vampire babies and has more incredibly specific dreams, and also in which Bella gets ready to be married and then does in fact get married. Cameron questions deeper about vampire biology, and Emily is here with very "helpful" answers. Readers and listeners alike want to know! How do those dicks work! Twitter:...

WELCOME TO BREAKING DAWN. The beginning of the end of the saga. In this exciting episode we get into why... Stephenie Meyer wrote a good chapter for once? From discussions of Bella's absurd "before" car to excitement for that honeymoon, this episode sure is a ride. Thank you to our editor Edward's Hairball (aka Emily) Twitter: https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

It's FINALLY HEREE!!!! And it's a long one!! Join Cam, Em, AND a special hairball guest- our editor- for our Eclipse moie episode! We discuss editor Emily's husband's astute observations, new iconic scenes (bAtTLe sCaRs), Cam's new crush, and more! Thank you as always to our editor, Emily (Hairball!) Twitter: https://twitter.com/unbittenpod Patreon: https://patreon.com/unbittenpod

Cam and Em return once again for more Bree Tanner. We continue to discover how much better S Meyer is at writing shorter books, we begin to stan Fred, and, as always, we question our sanity. Thank you to our editor, Emily (Hairball)!! Twitter: https://twitter.com/unbittenpod Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

In this episode we cover the first half of the Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. While questioning Stephenie Meyer's ability to write teenagers, we also sit in shock at how this book is somehow... BETTER? If only all her novels were forced to be novellas. Also vampire kissing is WEIRD!

Em and Cam are eternally relieved to finally finish another installment of The Twilight Saga! We wrap up this third book with the closest thing SM will get to spice, releasing Alice upon the world of wedding planning, and Jacob's most emo moment yet. Strap in, besties. Thanks to our editor Edward's Hairball for their help in making this podcast as unhinged as possible! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod

On this episode of Unbitten we discuss Chapter 26 of Eclipse. We are so very tired of Jacob and his manipulation and Bella and her guilt. In fact we seem to be pretty tired of this book now that the action is over as we kept trying to talk about anything OTHER than the book. Thanks to our editor Edward's Hairball as always for managing our chaos and adding their own chaos! https://twitter.com/UnbittenPod https://www.patreon.com/unbittenpod