We want to be able to influence our kids. We want them to listen to us, and we want to be able to calm them down so they can work through situations with less drama. So it can be challenging when our attempts to influence them don't work… or even make things worse! In this second episode of a two-part series, we’ll discuss what's needed to become a powerful positive influence with your children so you can bring more peace to your home, even if that seems impossible now.  In this episode,...

Most of us crave more calm in our homes. But what do we do when there is drama on an almost-daily basis and nothing we try makes a difference in our child’s behavior? Is it possible to reduce the drama and feel more confident in our parenting without damaging our relationship with our children? The good news is you can bring more peace to your family while increasing your children’s resilience and self-esteem.  In this episode, you’ll learn: Why our current parenting strategies don’t...

It’s natural to want our kids’ negative behaviors, moods, and behaviors to stop. But what happens when nothing we do seems to end the drama? How can we break out of the cycles of negativity?  In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “quick fix” methods don’t help our kids feel better (and often make things worse) Why Yuck Dumps are NOT the same as wallowing, and how these Dumps actually build resilience  Simple ways to help children release their negativity and frustration --- Notes...

We know it’s better to stay calm when our children have big feelings, but it seems like some days, we can only hold on for so long when they are complaining, crying, or melting down. How can we help our kids handle their discomfort when their behavior triggers our own Yuck? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we need to set realistic expectations for our children What it looks like when we’re using willpower to stay calm (and why willpower never seems to last long enough) How to...

Most of us have an idea of how we'd like to interact with our kids. But often when we're tired or frustrated, we don't react in a way that feels good. And when situations with our kids frequently spiral out of control, it’s natural to feel like we are failing at parenting!  In this episode, you’ll learn: Tips that will help any time you feel like a failure One mindset shift that can reduce guilt immediately How simple steps we take can positively impact our kids --- Notes from...

We talk a lot about BIG reactions when our kids have big feelings, but what about quiet, sensitive children who struggle when other people around them are upset? Often these children will do anything they can in order to make others feel better. To keep the peace, they will also disregard their own needs – even when we encourage them to stand up for themselves!  In this episode, you’ll learn: Why many parenting strategies don’t work with our sensitive children (and may even make things...

When we’re raising kids with big feelings, it can be hard to stay emotionally regulated all of the time. How can we be the parent we want to be when it’s hard not to lose our cool? How can we teach our kids how to stay calm when we’re struggling with staying calm ourselves? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we get stuck in a “cycle of Yuck” (and feel guilty and ashamed) How your ability to regulate yourself impacts your influence with your child  A simple tool you can use in the...

We want our days to be filled with peace and connection, but those of us raising kids with big emotions know that’s not always the reality. Even when we try hard to fix the arguing, complaining, and general resistance to our requests, it can feel like nothing reduces the drama long-term -- and sometimes, it seems like our efforts are actually making things worse. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why some of your current parenting strategies may not be working, despite your best efforts ...

It can be overwhelming navigating the constantly-changing emotions and reactions of children who feel things strongly. One minute they’re happy and the next, they are melting down about something that’s not even a big deal! We want to reduce the drama and be a powerful positive influence with our kids, but how do we do that when we don’t really understand what’s driving their reactions? In this episode, you’ll learn: What to check first when kids have unpredictable behavior How to...

Even when you try to make deposits with your children, sometimes you run into obstacles. You may feel particularly stuck if your child resists the attempts you are trying to make to connect with them! When that happens, using micro-deposits can help you get unstuck and shift things back to a more positive direction.  In this episode, you’ll learn: How to address common obstacles to making deposits  Why children with big emotions pull away or push back when we’re trying to spend time...

Because our children struggle with challenging situations and feelings, we want to give them what they need to be resilient. But if we’re being honest, sometimes it's easier in the moment to give them what they WANT instead of what they NEED to be able to handle the obstacles they will inevitably face in life.  In this episode, you’ll learn: How to know whether we’re meeting our kids’ wants or needs -- and when we need to make a change! What our children actually need from us to become...

Today we are celebrating our 300th episode with a more personal episode as I respond to listener-submitted questions. If you’ve ever wanted to learn a little more than the parenting tips I share, you’ll be able to do that now!  In this episode, you’ll hear: What I was like as a child - including the worst thing I ever did!  How and why I started a business helping parents  Some quotes that inspire me, both as a parent and as a person -- Free video series for parents raising...

When our children are having big emotions or behaviors, it’s natural to want those big feelings and behaviors to stop so that there is more fighting, no more disrespectful attitudes, no more drama. Unfortunately, there’s one problem: We can’t control how our kids feel or how they behave. And when we try, we just make the situation worse (and we feel worse). Fortunately, there is an alternative that leads to a better outcome – AND doesn’t require us to give in to them.  In this episode,...

Why do some kids listen more to one parent than another? Why do some kids seem to calm down more quickly around one parent than another? Often the difference is that one parent is a powerful positive influence, while the other isn’t. The good news is that any parent can learn to be a powerful positive influence. In this episode, you’ll learn: What we need to give our kids if we want to be more influential  How becoming a Powerful Positive Influence can motivate better behavior and...

Many people confuse “respectful parenting” with permissive parenting, thinking that respectful parents give into the whims of their children to make them feel good. But caving to our kids’ feelings and reactions is not respectful…to them or to us. Believe it or not, firm boundaries are a hallmark of respect-based parenting. And firm boundaries are what our children with big emotions really need. In this episode, you’ll learn: What firm parenting boundaries look like Reasons why...

Sometimes people assume that because I teach parenting strategies for a living, I’m always parenting the way I want to. I actually think that assumption is dangerous, so I wanted to offer just a few of my parenting regrets... some of which you may be able to relate to!   In this episode, I’ll share:  Some of my personal parenting fails  How I handle those fails – sometimes “successfully,” sometimes not What I do when I recognize that I’m not parenting the way I want to  -- Free...

Even when you listen to so many tips and parenting strategies available, it can be difficult to find those that actually work with kids with big emotions. And when nothing we try seems to make a difference, it’s easy to feel helpless. But it is possible to identify what our children need in order to feel and act better.    In this episode, you’ll learn:  Why our definition of “what works” doesn't always work!  What our kids need more than rewards or punishments Two things our...

There is almost nothing more upsetting than when a child acts disrespectful. And of course when our kids talk back, roll their eyes at us, or ignore us…we don’t always respond effectively. How can we learn to understand children’s disrespect so that we can give them the coping skills they need to act more maturely?  In this episode, you’ll learn: Two simple reasons children are often disrespectful to their parents, even when they know they shouldn't be  How to respond in the moment to...

You have an idea in your mind of what you “should” be doing as a parent. But how often do you feel like you’re falling short of your own expectations? So many of us feel guilty on a regular basis, and it can be exhausting. But there is something you can do to reduce your guilt (and get some energy back!).  In this episode, you’ll learn: What happens when we let go of parenting guilt One question we can ask ourselves to turn our guilt into confidence How to create a simple plan that...

Dealing with children’s lies can be very upsetting. When we know that they’re not telling the truth, we may feel disrespected and helpless and worry about how this behavior will impact our child (and our connection) in the future. How can we stop the lying once and for all – without harming our relationship? In this episode, you’ll learn: The real reasons our kids tend to lie  The strategies that don’t stop lying behavior (and why!) The mindset shift we need to make in order to...

Dealing with children’s lies can be very upsetting. When we know that they’re not telling the truth, we may feel disrespected and helpless and worry about how this behavior will impact our child (and our connection) in the future. How can we stop the lying once and for all – without harming our relationship? In this episode, you’ll learn: The real reasons our kids tend to lie  The strategies that don’t stop lying behavior (and why!) The mindset shift we need to make in order to...

We love our children with big emotions, but sometimes our love isn’t enough to build their confidence, especially when their strong feelings confuse them so much.  As a child I had trouble believing in myself, and I’d like to share my experience with you – and why your children are likely better off than I was!  In this episode, you’ll hear: What I learned as a child with big emotions Two hard-to-hear things our children with big emotions often believe about themselves  How Long...

We know that consistency is really important for our children with big emotions. But sometimes it feels like we spend all of our time enforcing limits – at the expense of our relationship! How can we teach our kids to do the things they need to do without feeling helpless or like we’ll have to nag forever? In this episode, you’ll learn: How to outsmart kids’ “avoider brain”  How to find and address the real reasons for resistance  How to get to the point where you can nag less so...

Raising a child with big emotions can feel like a roller coaster some days. One moment they might be yelling at you to go away… and the next moment they’re angry that you did what they asked. What do we do when our child does something that seems illogical and nothing we do is helping? In this episode, you’ll learn: What’s underneath kids’ seemingly-illogical behavior  How to understand what’s going on inside our kids before addressing their (outer) behavior  How to make a plan for...