In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something all of us face but nobody really wants to talk about - those seasons when it feels like you're in conflict with EVERYONE. You know those times? When it seems like every conversation is tense, every interaction is challenging, and you're starting to wonder if maybe you're the problem? First, take a deep breath. Because what if I told you these seasons of conflict aren't here to break you - they're here to build you?...

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're taking a moment to celebrate YOU. Yes, you! We're shifting away from our usual conversations about red flags and relationship challenges to focus on something equally important - acknowledging just how far you've come in your healing journey. You know those moments when you catch a red flag early? When you trust your gut instead of second-guessing yourself? When you look in the mirror and actually like who you see? Those aren't small...

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're getting real about something that hits deep - what do you do when someone just stops showing up for you emotionally? You know that feeling when their energy shifts, the care fades, and you're left wondering what happened? After seeing so many TikTok conversations about love avoidance and no contact, I knew it was time to dive into this topic heart-first. Because let's be honest - whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or even family,...

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we dive into the seven benefits of taking it slow in a relationship — the power of a 'slow burn.'  I discuss the reasons behind why rushing into relationships can be problematic, especially for love addicts, and share practical tips on how to pace relationships effectively.  I also explore how going slow helps in truly understanding your partner, avoiding unhealthy attachments, and building a stronger foundation for your love story.  This...

In this episode, I review 3 hidden ways we may unknowingly ignore (and encourage) red flags in new people we meet. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries:...

In this episode, I talk about why I'm quitting and what's coming next for Black Girls Heal! Resources mentioned in the episode: Register for the BGH Lover Girl's Weekend Workshop on Saturday,, February 8, 2025 at blackgirlsheal.org/eventsReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENTBook a 1:1...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we explore the importance of checking the facts when feeling threatened, especially for those healing from trauma.  We discuss how trauma can heighten our threat response, making it difficult to discern real threats from perceived ones. The episode delves into the skill of 'checking the facts,' a concept derived from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), outlining practical steps to take for regulating emotions and improving conflict resolution.  My...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the poignant topic of rejection, inspired by heartfelt conversations from my recent cruise trip. Focusing on love addiction, I discuss the fear of abandonment and the insecurities it breeds.  Together, we explore how to cope with rejection, understand its impact, and reclaim our power. You'll learn about the importance of not internalizing rejection, viewing it as a reflection of the other person's issues, and embracing your true self.  Join...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into a major milestone — our very first video podcast episode! After years of audio-only recordings, I am showing up in video to connect with you more intimately.  I start with a heartfelt check-in, sharing my personal experiences of transitions and the collective 'hell' many of us have gone through recently in various aspects of our lives.  Today's episode is all about understanding the importance of pacing in dating for love addicts, discussing...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I delve into the intricacies of implementing a no-contact process while co-parenting. This much-requested topic focuses on maintaining emotional neutrality and setting firm boundaries when you have to communicate with a co-parent for the sake of your children. I’ll share practical steps and tips designed to help you stay centered and avoid the emotional triggers that led you to this place.  Disclaimer: This advice is not suitable for relationships...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we're diving into the world of love avoidance and how to navigate new relationships when you're healing from it. We'll talk about understanding intimacy disorders, recovering from those avoidant patterns, and how to communicate your needs in a healthy way. Whether you're just starting in your recovery, you're in a new relationship, or even in a long-term one, this episode is packed with tips to help you stay balanced and build stronger connections. In...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the intricacies of managing romantic relationships for those in recovery from love addiction.  We discuss the importance of staying in touch with your body, practicing self-affirmation, and maintaining your own life and identity. These actionable tips are geared to help you stay balanced while developing healthy, secure connections. Whether you're in a new relationship or already partnered, these strategies will guide you towards emotional...

You know that feeling when things don't go as planned and you're left feeling disappointed? Yeah, we've all been there. This week on the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into how to manage unrealistic expectations and fantasies in your relationships so you can avoid those heartbreaks. We're going to break down how to set realistic standards, the difference between your hopes and someone else's reality, and why putting people on pedestals is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.  Tune...

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal, we’re going to be talking about something really deep today: how what happened to us as kids can mess with our love lives BIG TIME. We're diving into childhood emotional neglect and how it can lead to those addictive relationships we sometimes find ourselves in. It's wild how many of us deal with the fallout from not feeling seen or heard as kids. It's like this sneaky little pattern that shows up in our adult lives, making us chase love in all the...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I dive deep into the lessons I've learned over my 10 years of recovery from love addiction. This journey has been incredibly personal and transformative. Many of you have watched and supported me through it all—clients, friends, and those who know me through this podcast. I reflect on the challenges, the growth, and the relationships that have shaped me, culminating in a discussion inspired by a poignant poem that has guided me.  Join me as I share my...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive deep into financial codependency—a pattern where you feel obligated to support others financially, even to your own detriment. We explore its roots, how it manifests in various relationships, and the emotional toll it takes.  You'll learn about practical steps to break free from this cycle, including a 90-day no-contact financial challenge to help reset your finances and reclaim your well-being. We also provide resources to support your journey,...

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I talk about the power of "no contact" as a tool to finally break free from toxic relationships. You know how it goes – you finally decide to walk away, but somehow, you end up back in contact with that person who just brings you down. It's frustrating, right? Well, here's the thing: most setbacks in our healing journeys happen because we keep connections with folks who are bad for us. In the episode, I'll walk you through four key steps to...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we revisit the topic of 'No Contact' and the seven-day 'Don't Text Them: Sit on Your Effing Hands Challenge.' This discussion is aimed at those caught in addictive or trauma-bonded relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships.  We discuss topics like recognizing toxic relationships, the importance of breaking the cycle for self-healing, and the benefits of having a support system during this process.  We also touch on the new 90-Day No...

Join our free Black Girls Heal Circle Community for access to: Inspiration and support regarding love addiction, love avoidance, healing trauma and improving your self esteemAccess to our free resource libraryConnect & build sisterhood with other women on their healing journey as wellClick here to join the new free Black Girls Heal Circle Community Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal:...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the challenging yet liberating process of surrender and letting go. We explore themes such as grieving, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-love, supported by a poignant poem 'Just Let Them' by Cassie Phillips.  We also go into the three key takeaways: realizing you can't control others, being open to love and connection, and mastering the art of balanced surrender.  Additionally, we introduce various support resources including the...

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the crucial topic of feeling deserving and why it's essential for receiving the love you desire. We explore how internalizing negative beliefs and trauma can lead to feeling undeserving, even when we outwardly affirm our worth.  You'll learn practical steps to identify the emotional 'weeds' that choke your growth, including energy-draining relationships and perfectionist tendencies. Additionally, we discuss the importance of self-love,...

In today’s episode, we get into the topic of the fear of being seen, exploring the underlying trauma that leads to avoidance behaviors and vulnerability in relationships.  We discuss the common thoughts, actions, and patterns that arise when individuals struggle with feeling exposed and unworthy. Additionally, we address the impact of childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and exclusion on the development of these fears.  Episode 249 also highlights the symptoms of low self-worth and how they...

In this episode, I discuss the importance of moving from negative relationship patterns to positive, healed, and love-filled connections. I also talk about the common pitfalls of remaining in negative relational spaces, the impacts of childhood emotional neglect, and the signs of low self-worth.  You’ll get to know what it means to reach a baseline in emotional health and relationships and, ultimately, how to grow towards a healed and loved woman status. Listen to get actionable advice on...

In this episode, let’s discuss the importance of recognizing and celebrating personal growth. Reflecting on past conversations with coaching students, I explore three key signs that show how much you've evolved: pausing before reacting even when hurt, becoming open to alternative viewpoints, and feeling and validating your emotions. Alongside these insights, we discuss the impact of sharing emotions with safe individuals and re-evaluating your social circle for healthier relationships.  We...