0:00 intro 3:09 the pressure to live up to an ideal 6:36 pretending you’re okay 11:50 ambition 17:22 self-critical

0:00 intro 2:26 desire for friendship 4:32 being seen 8:13 validation 11:16 the value gap 14:55 diversify your identity 18:09 self discovery 19:49 live in the moment

0:00 intro 1:28 friendships have become more of a want than a need 3:30 replacing friends with our personal hobbies 6:20 effort 8:10 social media 11:43 millennial perspective 13:37 having a thriving social life Stolen Focus book https://amzn.to/3NT9wTS Source: Co-Op Foundation - One Small Step September 2021

0:00 intro 2:13 the 1 thing holding you back 7:49 the power of introversion 12:16 do less to get more 15:04 going out of your comfort zone

0:00 intro 0:50 very socially aware 3:19 you only pursue meaningful connection 6:05 you’re independent 8:45 control your emotions 11:58 you know yourself very well

0:00 intro 1:41 you expect yourself to be perfect 4:28 the illusion of completion 8:39 chasing perfection 11:36 we chase excitement and not peace

0:00 intro 1:17 validation 4:54 being busy 7:17 relationships 10:02 friendships 12:30 success

0:00 intro 2:22 prioritisation 5:29 self-sabotage 6:57 good news 8:03 wealth 11:08 rejection 12:56 vulnerability 17:01 love

0:41 you can have a conversation with anyone 1:40 you live in the present moment 3:31 you’re a good mix of relatable and aspirational 5:20 right mix sense of humour and intelligence 7:03 strong sense of self 8:36 negativity is just as important as positivity 10:56 you’re comfortable being seen

0:00 intro 1:52 you have to work to get approval 2:57 low self esteem 4:38 are you trying to save them 8:18 what do boundaries look like 11:50 boundaries are an act of self-respect

0:00 intro 1:41 social media 3:39 hyper individualist culture /hustle culture 8:24 Lack of third spaces 14:37 people are less open 8:24 lack of third spaces 16:06 neurodivergence

2:56 hating yourself became your safe space 5:26 you make up for your lack of beauty elsewhere 6:45 friendships 9:45 relationships 14:56 confidence

1:25 society places value on extroversion 3:49 you’re exhausted from pretending 7:38 lonely v alone 10:01 you thrive 1:1 and not in groups 13:00 feel like you’re in the outside looking in

0:00 intro 2:08 being your authentic self isn’t about adding, it’s about revealing 4:50 Suppressed emotions 9:37 journal prompts to help you be yourself 13:21 the authentic you doesn’t need approval

0:00 intro 2:17 self improvement creates excellence, but acceptance creates happiness 4:39 what is self acceptance? 7:53 forgiveness is your biggest barrier to self improvement (last chapter??) 13:47 pursuing perfection only makes you more insecure 16:18 elebrating yourself is a habit not an occasion

0:53 micro habit 1 2:41 micro habit 2 5:00 micro habit 3 7:31 micro habit 4 11:04 micro habit 5 13:48 micro habit 6 15:48 micro habit 7

0:00 intro 2:16 respect is long term, likability is short term 5:34 why respect matters more 10:52 deep relationships over superficial relationships 14:20 being liked = validation, being respected = confidence

0:00 intro 0:40 compliments 1:50 being nice 4:19 instagram 5:45 groups 7:02 saying no 9:58 being alone 11:18 unshakable confidence

0:00 intro 2:10 placing too much emphasis on being similar 6:53 self esteem 12:19 expectations 15:04 difficulty in reading social cues 17:58 fear of rejection

0:00 intro 2:51 hook up culture 4:21 men are wick of women + women are sick of men 9:00 we are motivated by fear, not by hope 13:06 we don’t date people we date avatars 16:12 unlimited options 20:27 attachment styles

0:00 intro 2:54 you’re not crazy for wanting to be attractive 7:58 the only thing worse than feeling ugly, is other people thinking that you’re ugly 9:17 avoidance behaviour 13:24 race 16:41 what do you hope to gain from not being ugly 21:46 Inherited attraction v earned attraction 26:22 your identity can be shaped by you or it can be shaped by everyone else 31:15 outro

0:00 intro 1:25 the chase 13:30 men don’t respond to words they respond to no contact 16:36 be his lover, not his mother 20:08 the nice girl is easily impressed, the dream girl is not 24:38 hold them accountable

0:00 intro 2:54 you’re not crazy for wanting to be attractive 7:58 the only thing worse than feeling ugly, is other people thinking that you’re ugly 9:17 avoidance behaviour 13:24 race 16:41 what do you hope to gain from not being ugly 21:46 Inherited attraction v earned attraction 26:22 your identity can be shaped by you or it can be shaped by everyone else 31:15 outro

00:00- intro 01:36 -you’re used to thinking and not feeling 05:03 - you feel like you have to hide who you are 09:37 - Work life comes before social life 13:00 - fuelled by curiosity, not entertainment 15:29- you’re used to being lonely 16:46 - you hate small talk