This week Cass talks with Dr Ann Kelley, licensed psychologist and co-host of the Therapist Uncensored podcast, about the importance of updating our understanding of attachment styles and the limitations of categorising ourselves and others. Ann proposes a more helpful approach of thinking about attachment as a spectrum. She introduces the idea of secure relating (as opposed to secure attachment), which involves understanding our own nervous system and how it impacts our interactions with others.  Ann introduces the Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum, helpfully using colours to represent different states of arousal: red for hyperarousal, blue for hypoarousal, and green for secure relating. She shares how our nervous system naturally responds to threats and connection, emphasising the need for self-awareness and compassion in order to create happy, healthy relationships in every area of our lives. She provides practical strategies for warming up or cooling down our nervous system and emphasises the relevance of this in every area of life: friendships, intimate relationships, parenting, work relationships, and the broader community. Connect with Ann and order your copy of 'Secure Relating': www.therapistuncensored.com www.instagram.com/therapist_uncensored_podcast Connect with Cass: www.cassdunn.com www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo www.cassdunn.com/crappytohappypod   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.