Hey, all! We'll be back from an unanticipated break with the last two episodes of Shadows soon. But we wanted to let you know that our patrons have selected our next book: we'll be diving into Michael A. Stackpole's Rogue Squadron, the first X-Wing novel (as soon as we wrap things up with Xizor and co., that is). If you want to read along, you'll have a few few weeks to track down a copy from your bookseller or library of choice. As always, if you'd like a voice in future book selections,...

We know some of our listeners are reading along with your kids, so a content warning: these chapters includes discussion of an extended sexual assault scene that’s probably not appropriate for younger listeners (and maybe not a choice for all adults, either). Before we dive in, Kelly reports back from the 25th anniversary screening of The Phantom Menace (spoiler alert: it’s still not great, but we forgot all about Darth Maul’s sick Lime scooter and the guy that yells about sports). 
Leia...

Did something finally happen in these chapters or do Kelly and Emily just have space Stockholm syndrome?? The action is finally picking up: Xizor contemplates creating some deepfake nudes of Leia and then trims his bonsai (not a metaphor). Vader gets real mad his boss sent him to pick up his son from jail. Threepio commits a felony with a cheerful wink. Guri shows off her pottery skills. Leia hits the strip mall on Coruscant before her business meeting with Xizor. Some (perhaps many) more...

Vader and Xizor ratchet up their game of mutual spying and lying. Leia waits around a casino until Guri’s busy schedule of murdering unruly Black Sun associates clears up. Luke and Dash intercept a message from a Bothan spy who may or may not be just a human guy (?)  and end up hijacking a load of literal b******t. And we are left asking what a Twi’lek dye job might entail.

Some things happen in these chapters! Vader stares down a midlife crisis, wondering why being an all-powerful middle manager is not sparking more joy.  Xizor and Vader engage in a battle of wits both IRL and over Zoom.  Our hosts wonder if schemes are indeed like plants. We find out the basis of the Emperor and Xizor’s friendship (competing over weird rich guy shit and murdering skilled tradespeople). Lando uses the power of spreadsheets and charisma to advance the plot and win a ton of...

We start off with some very important Han Mail as we defend the honor of a woman who definitely did NOT write us a nuanced and thorough review on Audible. And after a digression into the net worth of two of literature's greatest manic pixie dream bosses (Talon Karrde and Mr. Darcy), we dive into Shadows again. We get some insight into our villains as they both take some time for self care: Vader spends the day in the med spa getting incandescently angry at Obi-Wan and his own lungs, and Xizor...

We are finally diving into Shadows of the Empire, by which we mean Lucasfilm's Death Star sized 90's marketing machine. For this is no mere book: it is a weird conglomerate of a novel, several comic books, a video game, collectable figurines, an original soundtrack (!) and probably something else we missed.  Before we dive into the book itself, Kelly reports back on the first level of the N64 game. We also learn a little about the process of writing it, and the unbelievably specific...

Ok, here is the actual show for this week! Apooglies from your very tired delulu crew. It's time for some Han Mail! Plus, a sneak peak of our Patreon bonus episode, A Forest Apart. Listen to chapter one here, or head to our Patreon for the thrilling conclusion: https://www.patreon.com/DelusionsofGrandeurPod. Join us on an adventure where we actually get to know what the f*ck Chewbacca is talking about for once! His partner and video game obsessed kid join him on Coruscant for a little family...

It's the last set of chapters for Tatooine Ghost! Han Solo finally has a topic for his art history project and it's: "Why My Wife and Her Entire Culture Is Wrong and I Am Right: A Han Solo Thesis." In probably their most relatable moment to date, stormtroopers complain about nepotism (whew brother, wait 'til they learn the truth about the Skywalkers!). Leia Organa Solo has two minutes of talk therapy with her father's childhood best friend and it's just what she needs to decide she wants to...

Our intrepid heroes finally catch up to the Jawas' sandcrawler only to discover a massive droids' rights violation (and a lot of dead Jawas), but no Kitster. Leia has to pause her grandma's diary to rescue Han from certain death (with a key assist from the Squibs). We find out what stormtrooper armor is actually good for (that sweet built in AC). Han is forced to confess he's still got feelings for Killik Twilight. Leia is forced to confess she's got those old Skywalker Force-feelings (ugh). ...

INT. TATOOINE'S FINEST HOTEL AND DAY SPA — MID-MORNING  Leia discovers the Tatooine Dream of a Hutt-style jacuzzi. Han unceremoniously rips an IV from his arm for some very dehydrated but only strongly implied sexy times. Shmi's diary entries continue to reveal her inner life, despite how much podracing recaps try to interrupt. Stormtroopers — led by a suspiciously competent officer — track our heroes to the spa and wreak havoc. The gang escapes with the help of the Squibs, a case of Dasani,...

Now that Han Solo is alone with this swoop, things are gonna get more explicit between him and this glorified motorcycle than they ever have with him and Leia. Unfortunately, he does crash and spends the rest of these chapters trying to wring three drops of water out of Tatooine's atmosphere. Leia, Chewie, 3PO, and the Squibs mount a rescue campaign with the help of Biggs Darklighter's family who have taken over the Lars family murder-- sorry, moisture farm. And Biggs's mom [correction:...

Our heroes engage in *some* light espionage and *much* dramatic removal of hoods as they chase Killik Twilight and Kitster Banai across Mos Espa. Kitster isn’t home, but they do find the love of C-3P0’s life (Par Ontham’s Guide to Etiquette). And they meet not one, but two of Kitster’s wives, leading to a very tense happy hour. Chewbacca struggles to maintain his new hairstyle as Squibs crawl all over him and low-flying TIE fighters give everyone a static charge. Leia struggles with learning...

Last night, I dreamt I went to Tatooine again. That's right, we’re diving into the New York Times bestseller Tatooine Ghost! So far, this book has it all: a pit stop at the galaxy’s premiere make-out point, a heavily implied Thrawn cameo, an absolutely insane New Republic prosthetics budget, enough contradictory Darth Vader knowledge to give Emily a small aneurysm, and a win-or-die art auction that’s trending towards die. This is also the first episode on our new Patreon. For seven whole...

Season two is on the way next week for Patreon subscribers! We'll be kicking things off with "Tatooine Ghost," an incredible Thrawn-adjacent art heist. Check us out here: patreon.com/DelusionsofGrandeurPod Non-subscribers get free access to episodes two weeks later (but you won't get to vote on upcoming books or chat with your fellow Deluded Star Wars fans).

Hold onto your butts, it's the action-packed conclusion to all the clone madness! And also the end to the regular everyday madness you feel when you’ve got Emperor Palpatine’s voice rattling around in your head in ALL CAPS! But here they are: the final chapters in Timothy Zahn’s glorious Thrawn Trilogy. Plus some Han Mail with trilogy trivia and a hint at what we’re reading in Season Two! Keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming listener blog post all about cloones (not a typo, iykyk).

Jedi training during a camping trip means getting creative with lightsabers. Wedge gets sent on yet another side mission where he has to try to blend in at a cantina. While Thrawn and the New Republic prepare to duke it out in space, our usual suspects...uh, "heroes"...make a plan to storm the mountain that contains all of the clone madness.

We finally figure out the secret of DELTA SOURCE!! And don’t worry, it’s way cooler than anything you had in mind (yes, even cooler than: “Sounds like Coruscant’s most popular weed store”). Talon Karrde’s Smuggle Buddies reunite and almost turn on him (gasp!) but he is saved at the last minute due to Niles Ferrier being incredibly bad at his job. Luke Skywalker forces Mara Jade to let him teach her how to stack pebbles with her mind on their doomed camping trip, part deux. And Thrawn uses the...

Sorry we missed you last week! Like Luke Skywalker, we desperately needed a nap. On today’s episode, an astute Han Mail makes us question if Han Solo hails from Space France. Thrawn traps the New Republic high command in the prison of *their own minds* (plus a very real wall of invisible asteroids). Mon Mothma and Bel Iblis finally have a heart-to-heart. Karrde and the smuggle buddies check out some new real estate. Threepio gets a dent (gasp). And Han and Mara find some common ground: there...

Barely on the outside, Leia & Han’s twins are already under threat. They get saved by none other than Mara Jade…who is repaid with house arrest?! Uncool, New Republic. Talon Karrde is out there doing smuggler stuff and longing to get his super-competent second-in-command back. And poor Lando continues to learn that bureaucracy is as much of a pain in the ass as the Empire could be. PLUS: we have received the absolute best Han Mail in the form of a bespoke SONG. Feast your ears!

Have you ever wondered: can women even be friends in space? This week, in addition to our regularly scheduled shenanigans, we've got an answer. Inspired by ongoing conversations between Mara Jade and Leia Organa Solo, one of our listeners has contributed to our blog. That's right! We read novels from 30 years ago and we write on the internet like it's 30 years ago. Listen to this episode and then go check it out: delusionspod.com/blog.

It’s the beginning of the thrilling conclusion to the Thrawn Trilogy! We’ve got CLONE MADNESS! - we’ve got Luke Skywalker learning from past mistakes! - we’ve got Wedge Antilles doing something called the “Cracken Twist” (???) - and we’ve got Mara Jade finding a hidden blaster in a library book (…she’s gonna need it!). Also: keep that Han Mail coming. The question of the week is: if Bel Iblis could take a BuzzFeed quiz, which historical figure would he be?

It’s the LAST EPISODE for this book! But in lieu of jokes about space agriculture or dreamy management styles, we’re asking you to lend your time and/or money to calling your reps and donating to relief organizations combatting the genocide in Palestine. Here are two options to get you started: American Friends Service Committee Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund

We open on Jomark where Mara Jade and Joruus C’baoth are keeping the entire B&B awake with their shouting match in the courtyard. Zoom forward four days and Luke Skywalker gets to do a Death-Star-style-break-in-and-prisoner-heist redo (it’s the same, but in reverse!). And then…we get the incredible and dramatic conclusion of the Hongorian GRASS SAGA! Leia does a full-court Alderaanian royalty press. Chewbacca does some backseat Wookie science. And with their powers combined, 40-some years...