Would you like to pull things into the now and see them without the pain you may have associated with them in the past? It it possible. There are things that simply need to change in your thinking first. Then you can change the emotions that follow the thoughts.
When we swing so far left or right, we ultimately lose sight of our humanity and rational thinking. I experienced this and then had to come to terms with the attack and how I contributed to it.
Sometimes the waiting part of change is necessary. Your desire for change is the beginning of change....trust that you are moving forward.