F**#ing Birds
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“This morning I observed a strange omen, a large Eagle circled me and I beheld my wife writhing in her bed with a long and very stiff snake (which was strange as I had not found it when I patted her down looking for a sword under her clothes before we went to bed). I decided that I must consult the gods to find some meaning in these strange portents. I traversed my way to my local Oracle who told me that I should jump off a large rock. Shocked I reminded her I was not broken hearted just in need of some dream interpretation. Inhaling in a little more vapor she advised that my strange visions were caused by a lack four essential humors that the body should ordinarily contain. She revealed them with a flourish;
1) Mirth
2) Knowledge
3) Hilarious Dick Jokes
4) A mix of mainstream, hip hop and bizarre Australian 80’s music.
I was shocked and perturbed by her answers to my perplexing questions and decided that I needed to read the entrails of a chicken for guidance. “Lord Ahura Mazda tell me where me where I might encounter such varied and perplexing humors laid out to me by your oracle on earth” I was given no answer and the entrails were getting cold and I was ready to give up. Suddenly a blinding light appeared and in front of my eyes a heavenly vision of a shining I-phone appeared (deliberately not in a case as it’s such a beautiful piece of design without one). Chanting in strange tongues above it were two old-ish graying men, on holding a snake's head, the other clutching a tome of essential Chomsky. After meditating on the strange language being spoken I identified it as Convict and Redneck and made my mind up to consult the ancient books of the prophet Google to find answers.
The prophet guided me towards the trumpets of the Gods, Camulus and Raymasus, they of the silky voices and ravishing good looks. “Behold”, said Google, “this is the answer to your ill omens; I task you to return home and listen to the two Buggerers of Bucephalus and pay them sixty talents of dollar. Forthwith your troubles shall be lifted from your shoulders. And you shall know”, the prophet continued, “that you have completed this task when a mug complimenting you on your adventure shall be delivered to you by mail after hearing this review recited out loud in an Australian accent.” I have returned home and am carrying out the wishes of the gods and Ahura Mazda willing I will shortly receive the ceramic confirmation of my obedience and holiness by the completion of the prophecy. (Hint f**king Hint)”Read full review »
Begpu via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
12/07/15
More reviews of Life Of Alexander The Great
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“More than money can buy!
Great history is about great stories, not just numbers and dates. Cam and Ray have unlocked a treasure chest of the world's greatest stories that have helped shaped our civilization. If you are not plugged into this podcast, you are turning your back to a big part of...”Read full review »
Baker1949 via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
05/21/15
“I been entertained by Cam's non-traditional yet extremely entertaining story telling since his Napoleonic days. I am a huge fan of history and enjoy listening to a "normal human" discussing a complex historical figures in a non-traditional academic manner. Ray is a welcome addition,...”Read full review »
alontatsas via Apple Podcasts ·
United States of America ·
12/28/14
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“Pay the money!! Join up, where else can you get a life changing mind altering perception refracting experience for $5.00 !!
I chose a podcast to listen to as I listen to audio books at night to lull me off to sleep whilst drowning out the snoring. No more now I cant sleep I have to listen...”Read full review »
Gingernutswife via Apple Podcasts ·
Australia ·
06/29/15
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