Come join us for a conversation about anxious and avoidant attachment styles and why they so often end up together. We'll also talk about conflict and what love has to do with this work. You'll also hear both of us get choked up at the end of our conversation and hear how lucky we both feel to be working with people like you!  Staci Bartley is an integrative couples therapist. she's also a Certified Divorce Mediator, Certified Strategic Intervention Coach, graduate of energy and intuitive science, lifelong study of psychology, human sexuality, and universal principles. She is a speaker and workshop facilitator for medical and mental health professionals and has contributed to two wellness programs for fortune 500 companies. She is the Author of "Feeling Like Marriage is Dead? A Divorce Mediators Guide For Ensuring a Lifetime of Love." She is also the host of Love Shack Live along with her husband Tom. Love Shack Live is a live weekly radio show being broadcasted on KKNW 1150. Learn more about Staci: Website: www.stacibartley.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/stacibartley/ Learn more about Karin: Website: www.drcalde.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/theloveandconnectioncoach/   TRANSCRIPT Intro: Karin: This is Love Is Us, Exploring Relationships and How We Connect. I'm your host, Karin Calde. I'll talk with people about how we can strengthen our relationships, explore who we are in those relationships, and experience a greater sense of love and connection with those around us, including ourselves. I have a PhD in clinical Psychology, practiced as a psychologist resident, and after diving into my own healing work, I went back to school and became a coach, helping individuals and couples with their relationships and personal growth. If you want to experience more love in your life and contribute to healing the disconnect so prevalent in our world today, you're in the right place. Welcome to Love Is Us.   Karin: Hello, everybody, and welcome to season two of Love is us. I'm so glad you're here and I have so many great guests lined up for this next season and I wanted to start off it off with a bang and I think I accomplished that. I am talking with Stacey Bartley today. She is a couple's therapist and she has been doing this work for a really long time and her depth of knowledge is impressive. But more than that, she's also just this really warm, loving person and I just could keep talking with her for hours, I think, so it was hard to keep it to an hour, but I think that this episode is just jampacked with great information. We talk specifically about that familiar pattern of these different attachment styles where one is more anxious and one is more avoidant and how that seems to be a common pairing. So we talk about why that is and what happens and what to do about it and also talk a lot about conflict. So I think you're going to enjoy this one. I really hope that you will share it with others and also leave me a review because that will help this podcast be seen by more people. So thanks again for being here. And here we go. Hello, Stacey. [02:15] Staci: Hi, Karen. Good to see your beautiful face. [02:18] Karin: And yours too. It's good to see you again. This is our second go round. We had had a really fun conversation a couple of months ago and our technology failed us. So lucky us, we get to spend some more time together. [02:35] Staci: I know. I think it's really kind of a get to. There was no disappointment in that whatsoever. It was more of like, yes, wonderful. [02:44] Karin: And I'm excited to talk with you. And so we decided just to kind of shift just a little bit, just because, yeah, we had that conversation and now I want to have a different one. So we're going to talk a bit about attachment today, but I wanted to start off with my standard questions and the first one is, where are you in the world? [03:05] Staci: I am in Sacramento, California, in a little hilltown called Auburn. It's about