In this episode, I discuss how to practically apply the "choice-giving" pillar from the child-centered play therapy parenting framework. I cover two types of choices to give your kids: Empowerment Choices Give your kids choices just for the sake of letting them feel empowered and in control Examples: Let them choose how to get to the car (hold your hand or push the cart), what to eat/drink, what to wear, where to sit in the car, what music to listen to, etc. This gives your kids a measure...

In this episode, we explore the practical aspects of Reflecting Feelings, focusing on how this essential skill can be effectively used in daily interactions with children. Our goal is to demystify the process and encourage more confident and consistent application in your parenting. Key Points Covered: Understanding Reflecting Feelings: An overview of why this skill is fundamental yet challenging, emphasizing its importance in validating children’s emotions. Practical Application:...

In this episode, I address a question submitted by a therapist on behalf of a concerned parent. The parent has a 6-year-old girl who is grappling with body image issues. As this little girl expresses concerns about her tummy being "fat" and worries that other kids are judging her, her mother fears she may be using food to soothe her big emotions.   These behaviors are merely cues, signaling deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed. More often than not, a child's fixation on food,...

I can't emphasize enough the profound impact of encouragement on a child's self-esteem, self-worth, and overall development. Unlike the other pillars we've discussed, encouragement stands alone as a powerful tool that shapes a child's understanding of their identity, capabilities, and innate value.   In this episode, we delve deep into the crucial distinction between praise and encouragement. Praise, although well-intentioned, often includes value judgments that inadvertently make children...

In this episode, I answer a question from Hayley in Australia, dealing with a common issue many parents face: sibling conflict. Hayley has been diligently applying the principles we discuss here, such as getting down to her children's level, validating their feelings, and setting limits, yet she’s not seeing the positive changes she hoped for, especially when it comes to her children hitting each other.   I address the importance of neutral phrasing in limit setting, the impact of birth...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we continue our journey through the four pillars of child-centered play therapy. Having covered reflecting feelings and choice giving, we now explore the third pillar, limit setting.   Limit setting is essential in teaching children how to understand and respect boundaries. It's a skill that combines the empathy and understanding we've discussed with clear, consistent guidelines. I give practical strategies for implementing limit...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I address a heartfelt question from Corinne about how to navigate conversations with her five-year-old son regarding his grandmother's ALS diagnosis. Corinne's concern resonates with many parents who grapple with discussing difficult topics with their children. I emphasize the importance of sharing age-appropriate truth with kids, providing simple explanations in response to their questions, and being prepared for future discussions as...

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're exploring choice giving. Choice giving empowers children by offering them opportunities to make decisions and exercise control in their lives. By providing choices within established boundaries, parents can help children develop decision-making skills, reduce power struggles, and foster a sense of ownership over outcomes. I emphasize the importance of setting mutually agreeable parameters for choices and I explain practical...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I discuss a common parenting challenge: how to handle big emotions in kids, especially when they're directed at siblings. I relate a scenario shared by Heather from Florida, who struggles with regulating her own emotions while helping her three boys navigate theirs. I discuss the importance of reflecting feelings and understanding the underlying causes of behavior, such as feelings of powerlessness. Also, I give some strategies, such as...

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the first pillar of child-centered play therapy, which is reflecting feelings. This foundational skill is all about acknowledging and validating our children's emotions. Remembering that kids aren't rational beings, we have to meet them in their emotional world rather than expecting them to understand ours. By reflecting their feelings, we help them build an emotional vocabulary and effectively communicate their...

I'm thrilled to be back on the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast after taking a little break.  So, welcome to Season Two!   During my hiatus, I've been busy launching training programs for clinicians and welcoming a new therapist at my center. Now, I'm excited to share some changes with you.   In this episode, I announce a new direction for the podcast: it will be more curriculum-driven, offering you a "master class" in parenting based in child-centered play therapy.   Today, I want to...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I explore the analogy of a compass and how it relates to parenting. I delve into the fact that a compass doesn't actually point to True North, contrary to popular belief. This realization led me to reflect on the parenting journey, highlighting the freedom found in acknowledging that, just like a compass, we may not always be heading in the "perfect" direction.   I emphasize the importance of understanding that parenting isn't about...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I explore the profound meaning behind a Winston Churchill quote and its application to parenting. I delve into the concept of absolute truth, drawing parallels between the quote and the truths we encounter in parenting.   I highlight three incontrovertible truths:   Parenthood is a conscious choice and responsibility. When we decide to have children, we inherently accept the duty to parent them well. It's vital to shift the mindset...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I take a deep dive into praise vs encouragement from a child-centered play therapy standpoint.   Building upon the previous episode's overview, I recount a conversation with a house parent at the Hope Children's Home who raised a question about a parenting approach he overheard. The person avoids telling his kids he's proud of them, opting for "what you did just brought me great joy" instead. While the intention is to encourage...

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we get "back to basics" of the Play Therapy Parenting model. I've shared an extensive range of insights over the last 124 episodes and as more listeners join the podcast family, I thought it was time to reflect on the basics.   Recently, I had the privilege of conducting a 7-hour training of the house parents and staff at Hope Children's Home (https://hopechildrenshome.org/), a remarkable foster care agency. The experience inspired me...

I frequently hear from parents something along the line of "My kid is so manipulative!" I'd like to challenge the notion that kids are manipulating parents and others around them and give you a new perspective and re-frame for you what exactly kids are doing that parents interpret as being manipulative.   In this episode of the podcast, I discuss the following topics:   The concept of abstract reasoning Organic, natural cause of "manipulation" Kids don't have alternatives when...

Listener Stephanie emailed me with a follow-up question to my episode titled: "'I Hate My Life!' – What To Do When Your Child Says This, Or Other Shocking Things" and described a few situations where her 7-year-old son reacts with shocking responses, but the reflecting feelings process didn't work as expected. In this episode, I give Stephanie some follow-up advice on using the reflecting feelings skill with some advanced tips to help when it feels like reflecting feelings isn't working.   ...

A listener to the podcast emailed me a question regarding explaining dating and remarriage to young children. In this episode, I discuss the related topics related to this matter.   Age appropriate truth Neutral discussions without emotion Setting expectations   Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:...

Listeners Dan and Clay emailed me similar questions regarding "roadblocks" in the choice-giving process. In this episode, I discuss the following topics:   The purpose behind why we give choices Hindrances to the choice-giving process (congruence, choices given only in negative situations, understanding the "why") Kids need opportunities to practice receiving choices   Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter...

"Only acts of war and the events of natural disasters are more harmful to a child's psyche than the divorce process" - American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 1997   In this episode, I'm going to talk about the following topics from a child's perspective: Change The emotional processing of a divorce vs the rational side Trust, safety, and security   Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup:...

"When I look back, knowing what I know now, there were signs..."   In this special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I had the privilege to interview Jason Reid, founder of Tell My Story (www.tellmystory.org) and Choose Life (www.chooselife.org). May is Mental Health Awareness month, and Jason, who lost his 14-year-old son to suicide, is determined to reach every parent and every family about the conversation they need to have with their kids.   Jason's mission has enlarged...

As parents, we want the best for our children. However, in today's world, we are faced with new challenges when it comes to our children's mental health. The news is flooded with child mental health crises, and a recent survey found that child mental health is the #1 concern among parents right now.   In this episode, I dive deep into this important topic and share practical tips that can help. We know how tough it can be to assess our children's mental well-being, primarily when they...

In this episode, I want to bring us back to the most foundational aspect of parenting... the relationship. Using the 4 Pillars of Play Therapy skills is the best way to preserve your relationship with your child when you have to discipline, or when you are trying to encourage self-esteem, self-regulation, and self-reliance.   Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My...

In this episode of the podcast I wanted to talk about encouragement and self-fulfilling prophecy. I recently wrote a quote into my quote book that was the inspiration for this episode. It goes like this: The friend said, "Elsa, You have a wrong picture of yourself." Elsa replied, "Even if that is true, what does a person do about it?  The things your parents say to you, and the things your husband doesn't say to you, become a mirror, don't they? You see yourself as they see you, and no matter...