What are the things you wish someone told you about being in a long term relationship that absolutely killed your last relationship? Maybe you’re in a new relationship now, and you want to know how to set your relationship up for success to make it last for years and years to come. Although we can agree humans are naturally social creatures, it is damn hard being in a relationship for years with the same person. Personalities change, arguments fester longer than they should, and your...

At the beginning of the relationship, it’s so effortless to be in each other’s presence. Thanks to nature and biology, the hormones that flood our systems makes being in love the most magical experience in the world. There’s never enough time together and you can’t keep your hands off each other. Keeping that level of focus and attention on each other and the relationship as you progress through stages and settle together takes a lot of effort and skill (to do it well). Tom and Lisa are...

Dealing with your partner’s insecurities in the relationship gets very challenging. Because they are often triggered by something internal the work needs to come mainly from your partner. When you are committed and down for the long-term relationship, you realize that dealing with your own insecurities is more effective in creating and maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Tom and Lisa share how Tom was able to recognize and address one of his own insecurities early in the...

Have you experienced relationships centered around physical attraction? Relationships can fall apart for dozens of reasons, and physical attraction and sex appeal are definitely one of the major reasons. The truth is, we are all having a biological experience as Tom puts it, and in order to have a long lasting relationship,you have to understand human nature. Luckily, there is no pressure or obligation to agree or disagree with it, but as human beings there are natural tendencies we are...

Sexual pleasure between you and your partner is a must for a healthy relationship to thrive. When it comes to pleasing each other are you 100% sure you know how to satisfy your partner and are you giving each other the opportunity to explore (or at least discuss) your most intimate kinky little twists. How comfortable are you telling your partner about your sexual fantasies? Is fear of being judged or dismissed holding you back from sharing? If you were to share and your partner expressed...

Having trust for others is never easy once you’ve been hurt, and yet is it a must for any relationship to thrive. How do you determine for yourself if you can trust your partner? Tom and Lisa discuss the most effective ways you can begin building trust with your partner and why trust with yourself is the key. “Trust is the only thing that can help relationships last a lifetime!” -Mohith Agadi Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships....

What should you do when there is a collision of habits between you and your partner? One likes to get the day started early while the other gets rolling at night. Can you have a healthy and happy relationship when your routines collide with one another? Tom and Lisa address ways to keep your relationship at peace without causing each other absolute misery. Showing each appreciation of what you both do without turning anything into an expectation is necessary. Tom and Lisa reveal their secret...

If you’re in a long-term relationship or in the beginning of one, it’s important to know that your sex life together will ebb and flow. With time couples often struggle with sexual intimacy for a number of reasons. I could be boredom or changing sex drives in one or both partners that makes sexual connection and satisfaction more difficult. Tom and Lisa open this conversation addressing the reality of mismatched sex drives, the biology and human experience that contributes to those changes,...

There are both physical and psychological benefits to having a healthy sexual relationship. Better immune system, lower blood pressure, better sleep, less stress, and increased intimacy and connection with your partner are just a few of the benefits a healthy sex life offers. Making sure that both you and your partner are satisfied takes a bit of skill with communication, but Tom and Lisa are sharing their best tips for how you can make that happen. Having a high functioning sex life is a...

It’s been reported that 10 million people every year are affected by family or domestic violence. Domestic violence takes on many forms such as physical, sexual, emotional and psychological abuse. If you are in a relationship that diminishes your value, who you are and makes you feel unsafe in any way, please know this is not okay. Tom and Lisa share their insights and thoughts on verbally emotional abuse and why it should never be tolerated. If you are struggling with any form of abuse, here...

At the root of some of the most common reasons relationships fail is a breakdown or lack of communication. Poor communication makes it difficult to connect and understand what you’re both in need of. To feel heard, respected, and understood in any relationship seems like common sense, and yet so many relationships end because it’s missing. Tom and Lisa share their experiences and lessons from 20+ years together on what it takes to communicate more effectively. Whether you want a simple text...

The key to being married happily ever after is embracing change and the different phases life and your relationship will bring your way. Part of the human experience is evolution, so it is only natural that the person you start dating today will not be the same person you are with 5 or 10 years from now. Life, age and experiences change us all, and knowing that makes it a little easier for you to navigate how to share your life with the same person for 20+ years. Lisa and Tom are sharing the...

What do you do when you and your partner are ready to have kids, and have different views on the best way to raise them? As adults we each have different experiences growing up with how we were disciplined and the beliefs our parents gave us? For some people any form of discipline can be really harsh and too much to accept. For others discipline may have been a necessary evil they grew to appreciate. Whether you are an authoritative parent, permissive parent, or uninvolved parent, the point...

Feeling appreciated in a relationship can look like anything to anyone. Ask 20 people and you’ll get 20 different responses. Obviously, being in a lifelong relationship means that you want your partner to be happy. You want to feel connected to your partner, and making sure he or she is feeling valued, heard, and appreciated is part of a healthy relationship. Tom and Lisa take a look at why being direct and asking your partner what they want, and doing the work to find out what their love...

Think back to the biggest argument you’ve had with your partner, or even a friend or family. Now that you have that argument in mind, explain to yourself what was the argument over. Was it over money, the way he or she said something or the way a situation was poorly handled? If you were to go and ask your partner what the argument was about and why it was such a big deal what would they say? Too often, arguments are created and blown out of proportion because both parties are arguing from a...

Regardless of debt load, 41% of couples argue over money. Spending, saving, and deciding how to split finances are leading contributors to stress in relationships. Often one partner spends too much and money values collide. Everyone has different experiences growing up that shape their ideals and values around money, so how are couples supposed to navigate these murky waters? Tom and Lisa are sharing their experience with discovering each other’s money values and how they started talking...

Why is communication in your relationship so important? Not knowing how to express yourself or how to hear your partner’s concerns can really break down a relationship’s intimacy, connection, and ability to survive long term. When you don’t feel understood you can easily feel isolated and uncared for by your partner. So, what’s the fix? What’s the best way to improve communication with your partner? Many people give advice on when to talk, and how to listen, but Tom and Lisa are breaking down...

Since you were a child romantic love stories were painted for you that reassure you that love was enough to face any bad guys, hurdles, and problems. When you grow up and experience relationships of all kinds, you quickly find out it’s tough to love your way through certain disagreements. Being romantically involved with someone gets complicated. Tom and Lisa start here discussing when you move beyond the early days of physical attraction and the flood of chemicals that put you on cloud 9,...

Let’s talk about sex! Believe it or not, there are couples that have been together for years and may even have children that are not comfortable with conversations about sex. Having open communication with about your sex life, desires and fantasies together is so important to the health and longevity of your sex life. Knowing when and how to find the right moment, the right questions and the right approach will not only improve your sex life, it can positively impact the health of your...

Right now if you were asked to name the best example of a healthy relationship, who comes to mind? Is it someone close to you, your parents, grandparents or someone famous? When you look around for examples of healthy relationships it’s important to look at all types of relationships. Honoring the challenges and turmoil you experience in your relationships is essential. Tom and Lisa share what they both picture to be examples of healthy relationships and why dysfunctionally toxic...

Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships. Whether you are fresh out of your last relationship, on a break, taking time to heal from a breakup, or looking for ways to strengthen the romance and bond in your current relationship, Tom and Lisa are sharing their 20 years of experience. They’re taking questions and giving relationship advice that will enhance all of your relationships. SHOW NOTES: Be Yourself | Why being honest is a must...

Being independent is high on the list of many women. Taking care of yourself, not feeling like you need a man or anyone to give you value or level up is freeing and super empowering. Women have been singing about being independent since Destiny’s Child made it an anthem you can dance to. But, how does being independent fit in when you want to be cared for, and you want to feel protected, or be rescued from yourself? Does wanting to feel secure and protected by your man jeopardize your...

Were you ever warned about dating outside of your faith, outside of your political beliefs, and culture? Was it ever implied that “people like us…” you can finish the rest. Values matter and are not to be taken lightly when dating and looking for a long term relationship. What Tom and Lisa wrestle with in this episode is why values and beliefs are such a heavy topic to carefully consider when dating. There is a framework of values to be acknowledged and a mindset in which both partners need...

Long lasting relationships are like the super-fit healthy people we love to envy. It’s easy to admire the results, but not many of us want to take the time, the discipline, and effort it takes to get those results. Handling the changing dynamics of a relationship as you and your partner grow individually and together takes work and strong communication skills. Tom and Lisa share why love isn’t enough to make a relationship work and why the best policy is to appreciate and enjoy the many...