What if you didn't have to divorce you to create an intimate relationship? Most of us cut off parts and pieces of ourselves for our partners, our kids, our colleagues, etc., in all the different ways that we don’t choose us.   On this show, you are treated to the recordings of a recent zoom with the founder of Access Consciousness, Gary Douglas, and Paula Peralta as part of the Divorceless Relationships book club.    Gary sees guys bend, fold and mutilate themselves to get into a relationship. He sees women bend, fold and mutilate themselves to stay in a relationship. Neither one of them is about "Is this happy? Is this fun?" Relationships should be fun; not relationshit. Stop divorcing yourself to get into or maintain a relationship.   What would it be like if you gave up your life of misery in favour of a life of fun, joy, happiness, possibilities, choices, questions and contributions? Most people don't even think that way. Key points from this episode’s conversation   Be You The Image Of Relationship What Are You Choosing? 10 Second Increments What Would You Like In A Relationship? Creating A Great Relationship The Relationship With Your Body Four Things You Need In A Relationship Sex The 5 Elements of Intimacy Do You Really Want A Relationship? What Can A Horse Teach You About Relationship? Be You People think there are certain things they can't share about themselves, and cut that off thinking they can be without it. You can’t. You can't do without being you. You can't be without being you. You can't accomplish without being you. You can't create without being you. The Image Of Relationship This reality portrays relationships as you fall in love and live happily ever after.  Is it the truth or a figment of your imagination? Relationship is never always easy; you are going to have stormy weather as well as great sailing. You've got to have the ability to sail through life without needing to believe something that is not true.   What Are You Choosing? To have a good relationship, you need to be aware of what you are choosing and be aware of the possibilities you are not choosing. When Gary's relationship wasn't working he asked, “What are 8 things that would have to change for this to work for me?" Then he went down the list and asked, "If I ask her to change this, could she do it?” He discovered that only two of the things on his list she would be able to change, because for the other six, she had decided that was who she was. What if you could create yourself in every moment? What kind of amazing things could you create? What would you choose? You've got to have choice in relationship and you've got to know you are doing it by choice. The people Gary knows in good relationships, they chose their relationship and they choose it every 10 seconds. When you can't come to agreement, just move on. That's the way you want to live your life; "You're not going to change my point of view, I'm not going to change your point of view. Let's move on."    10 Second Increments If you live in 10 second increments, you're not trying to come to conclusion about what a relationship is. Gary knew someone who thought their relationship was perfect and didn't want it to change, whereas her husband was having an affair for 2 years and wanted to leave her. The greatest mistake we make is going "This is the most perfect person for me." What makes them the perfect person? You keep looking for the perfect person to be with as though that creates the perfect relationship. It doesn't. All it creates is the biggest f**k up on planet earth.   What Would You Like In A Relationship? You have to look at what you want in a relationship, not what other people have. There are people Gary knows who have a great relationship, but he wouldn't want that relationship for himself. What are you currently choosing with regards to relationships? What would you like to choose? If you write a list of what