Are you currently deciding whether to leave a relationship or to stay? Indecision can hang over you like a dark cloud and can be paralysing, keeping you from taking any action at all. What if you could have ease, joy and glory with this choice?   On this show, your host, Paula Peralta, talks with Relationships Done Different Facilitator, Heiderose Scheerer, about the question, to go or not to go.   If you are at a crossroads with any of your relationships and you don't know what's required or how to go about it, this episode can assist you to know that there are possibilities available; even when you don’t feel like there are.   Keys points from this episode’s conversation   Stop Over Thinking It What’s Really Going On? Do You Function From Compromise? What Else Is Possible? Compatibility What Does Your Body Know? An Invitation To Something Different It Starts With Your Relationship With You Stop Over Thinking It Your mind will never be able to give you the answer you are looking for. There is no one fits all answer. When you start asking should I stay or should I go, it's something that has been going on for a while. There is something that doesn't work for you. Ask, “What is it that doesn't work for me? What is it that makes me ask the question?” and “How can I change it?”; or “Whose responsibility is it to change it?”, as we so often go to blame. What is it that you actually would like to have? What's true for you? You can ask the question, “What will my life be like in 5 years time if I stay? What will my life be like in 5 years time if I go?”, but what do you know? Once you get to that point of asking should I stay or should I go, you already know the answer. If you are overthinking it and coming up with a pros and cons list, you are trying to justify your choice.  If didn't need to justify, what do you know? What do you desire, what do you require? What is true for you? What is it you would actually like to create? Two questions to end the indecision are,  1/ “Am I in an abusive relationship?”; whether it’s you abusing them or they are abusing you.  2/ Has your health been suffering in the relationship?   What’s Really Going On? What if your partner's annoying behaviours are a gift and they are there to be your teacher? What if perfection is pure fiction? How can you love an imperfect person perfectly?  Who were you when you started the relationship? Who are you now? And what would you really like to create in your life? So often we go to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Outside of abuse, you don't necessarily have to end the relationship just because you find something annoying that you don't think will change. There is always something else possible. A great question to ask is, “What would it take to change this?” or “What would it take for me to have ease with this?” Another thing we often do is look to other relationships as an example of how a relationship should be, or how to deal with conflict, etc. But what is it that works for you? When you carry traumas with you, it keeps you from having true intimate relationships. If your partner wants more intimacy and you want to run, it’s not wrong to run - but know what you are doing. If you are the one who wants more intimacy, what can you do to get it? What are you asking for and can you be and do everything that is required to do that? For example, if you desire the 5 elements of intimacy - honour, trust, allowance, vulnerability and gratitude in a relationship, is that something that is easy for you to do? Or would you benefit from talking to someone about that? Do you want to stay in an unhealthy relationship or create a healthy relationship? and how do you know the difference? The key is to look at yourself and be really honest with yourself.    Do You Function From Compromise? Compromise means giving up something valuable to you for the sake of the other person. And, you