Do you believe that break ups have to be dramatic? Or is there actually another possibility? In this episode, your host, Leandra Costa, talks with Relationships Done Different Facilitator, Dr. Imene Benzamouche, about tools that have assisted her to navigate relationship break ups with ease. Growing up, Imene did her own kind of havoc in relationships, until she found the Access tools. Now she has way more ease and a joy in what she is choosing in relationships. What if you too could benefit from these tools? What if breaking up could actually be fun and ease?   Keys points from this episode’s conversation Acknowledge That You Can Handle A Break Up You Actually Know When It’s Not Going To Work Imene’s Go To Relationship Tool What If A Break Up Didn’t Have To Be Dramatic? When Kids Are Involved Who Are You Being? Acknowledge What Is Stop Judging Acknowledge That You Can Handle A Break Up Before Imene's divorce, it was drama and trauma and depression and losing herself. That wasn't fun. She realised relationship was something she was good at; or breaking them up.  When she started using Access Consciousness tools, she didn't use them for relationships at first because of her belief that she sucked at relationship; she thought nothing was going to change that. But then when she started taking Relationship Done Different classes and using the tools, breakups became way easier for her, because you actually embrace your awareness. And this was true for her whether the relationships were romantic, business or friendships. When you are a kid, you have this capacity naturally to be with someone or not be with someone. When you grow up, you learn there is a significance and a solidity to what a relationship is, so when you break it up, you feel broken; like you are something porcelain. But you are not a porcelain thing. You have awareness, and when you be that more and more, it becomes way easier. For Imene, she realised that she can actually handle herself and not lose it.   You Actually Know When It’s Not Going To Work If you are asking questions, you have this moment where you realise the relationship is not one that is going to go for long, or it's not one that will bring you joy. It's more of a knowing. It doesn't make sense. She remembers in one of her relationships that she knew it wasn't going to work, but she was having so much fun she continued with it. At the end when it doesn't work, you actually knew. And, even if you don't see the ‘red flags’, you have this sense of there's something that's not working. You have the choice to acknowledge that you are still choosing to go with the relationship even though you know, or have a sense or gut feeling, that it's not going to work.  You are aware.   Imene’s Go To Relationship Tool One of the things Imene looks at with anything she chooses is, "What would my life be like in 5, 10, 20, 50 years if I actually choose to be with this person?" and she gets a sense of what that actually is. When you ask that question, your mind cannot compute anything, so you trust what you know; what you have a sense of.  If that question brings up a contraction, especially to Imene's body, she knows there is something that is not joyful or easy for her in that relationship. It's still a choice to choose it, but if she does, she knows it's not something that is creating her future.  She is learning more and more to go with what is lighter; because we still have choice in every situation to go either way. How many of you know that something is not a light choice and go with it anyway? Maybe you have an agenda or you might want to fulfil something.   What If A Break Up Didn’t Have To Be Dramatic? We actually have choices when we are breaking up. It doesn't have to go to trauma and drama. It doesn't have to be that space of "Oh my god, I've lost everything," or judging yourself. Sometimes when you spend so much time with one person, where it was traum