Episodes
What’s really average when it comes to penis size and does it really matter? How do we get over our hang ups around size so that we can all feel confident in our bodies? Should you use certain positions according to size? And are condoms really one-size-fits-all? Jess and Brandon share their perspectives and are joined by Milla Impola  of ONE condoms. Milla Impola is the Director of Marketing at ONE® Condoms, a brand of premium condoms and lubricants. ONE® is passionate about sexual health...
Published 07/30/21
Urologist, Dr. Denise Asafu-Ajei, joins us to answer your questions about erections: How can you prevent erectile dysfunction? How do you treat erectile issues? How do you know if erectile issues are psychological or physiological in nature? What can you do if you lose your erection? How do you manage anxiety to reduce negative feedback loops? Dr. Denise Asafu-Adjei is a urologist with subspecialty training in sexual dysfunction and male infertility. She completed a...
Published 07/23/21
This podcast is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app for couples and singles where they're a pioneer in allowing couples to explore dating together as a pair. Feeld is for everyone from the experienced to the curious. Jess & Brandon answer listener questions related to erection loss, anxiety, libido, social norms and how to start difficult conversations. This episode is brought to you by Lovehoney. They’re having a summer sale and you can save a little extra with code...
Published 07/16/21
In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome — for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners’ insights on threesomes and discuss couples’ privilege. Check out the questionnaires below and be sure to check out our sponsor Lovehoney, as they have the most innovative toys, props and lingerie. Use code DRJESS10 to save. (And if you’re curious about the Greedy Girl Thrusting G-Spot Vibe, check it out...
Published 07/09/21
Most people fantasize about threesomes, but not many people actually dive in. In part I of our Threesomes podcast, we dive into the data and get some practical advice from Justin Lehmiller who answers your questions including: How common are threesomes? What counts as a threesome? How does a threesome affect relationships for couples? Who is having threesomes? How do people find threesomes (e.g. through apps like Feeld)? What’s the appeal of threesomes? Next week, we’ll...
Published 07/02/21
Sydney Rae Chin joins us to share her personal experience as a closeted queer woman who grew up Chinese-American-Catholic. She shares some really valuable advice on how to navigate emotional consent and leaves us with tools for navigating boundaries and honouring our own values. They dive deep into conversation around polyamory, monogamy, and coming out to their family answering these questions and more! Can you have monogamous relationships as a polyamorous person? Can polyamory...
Published 06/25/21
Are you comfortable talking dirty? Do you feel silly trying new lines, approaches and scenarios? You’re not alone. Jess and Brandon share their struggles (while sharing a few laughs) and offer guidance & strategies for all types of dirty talk from sweet and romantic to naughty and kinky. They try out dozens of lines that you can practice on your own and share with a partner (or two!). To find out more about the lines Brandon and Jess talks about in this podcast, they can be found...
Published 06/18/21
Dr. Lexx is a phenomenal sex therapist, educator, and media consultant. The #CouplesClinician runs The Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy, LLC and is an Amazon best-selling author! She’s the coolest nerd you'll ever meet and she’s passionate about helping clients build, maintain, and perpetuate true intimacy with #shamefreesexed. This week, Dr. Lexx joins us to talk about adipositivity & enmeshment in relationships. She shares insights on how to recognize enmeshed dynamics and...
Published 06/11/21
On this week's podcast, Jess & Brandon talks about compatibility and the compatibility you have with your partner. They share their thoughts from a personal perspective and some keys to compatibility. How do know know if you’re sexually compatible? What can you do if you’re not sexually compatible? What are the keys to sexual compatibility? What’s the difference between desire and identity? Should you break up if you’re not sexually compatible? How can you find middle...
Published 06/04/21
Backdoor play can be highly erotic, but it can also be uncomfortable if you don’t know how to prep and play. Surgeon and sexual health expert, Dr. Evan Goldstein, joins us to share his expertise so that you can enjoy even more pleasure — before, during and after anal sex. He answers a range of questions including? How can we make anal sex more pleasurable for first timers? What positions are best? Can anal sex stretch/damage the anus or rectum? What’s normal when it comes to...
Published 05/28/21
Dr. Ali Mushtaq joins us to share his journey from a conservative upbringing to leather title holder and discusses how BDSM education can be more inclusive and justice-oriented. Some of the questions he covers includes: When and why is it important to talk about race in BDSM? How can we bring anti-oppression frameworks to kinky spaces? How do you walk to a partner about racial inequality? What is sexual racism and how does it cause harm — physically and emotionally? How do...
Published 05/21/21
  To celebrate Masturbation May we’re joined by Dr. Megan Stubbs, author of Playing without a partner, a single’s guide to sex, dating, and happiness, who weighs in on these questions and more! What are the advantages of being single? Is it okay to keep going back to my ex? What does it mean if my partner of over a year hasn’t said I love you? Is autocunnlingus possible? What is edging? Why is everyone always complaining about dating and what can we do about it? ...
Published 05/14/21
This week we explore surprising hot spots on the body including the Million Dollar Mark as well as a variety of erotic touch techniques from the Liquid Trace to the Breath Kiss. We also answer a listener question about whether or not to invite an ex to your wedding. Thanks to our amazing sponsor OMG by IOBA. I love this toy! Save 30% with code DRJESS And don’t forget to tune into Intimately You with Dr. Jess on CityTV Fridays at midnight starting May 14th -- presented by TSC! If you've got...
Published 05/07/21
Dr. Shemeka Thorpe is a brilliant sex researcher, post-doctoral fellow and the founder of the Minority Sex Report. She joins us to talk about her latest research and we answer some of your burning questions including: I can't get into receiving oral sex. Is something wrong with me? What's the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? How do I get over my partner's past? How can we improve sexual communication? How do we manage pain during sex? How do I advocate...
Published 04/30/21
Got sexual and pelvic health questions? We’ve got answers! Dr. Rachel Gelman, Doctor of Physical Therapy and pelvic floor specialist returns to answer your questions related to sex, pleasure and pelvic floor functioning including: What is bumper sex? What can I do about leaking when I laugh? How do bowel movements affect pelvic floor function and sexual response? Why is anal pleasure so much hotter after my second child? What causes painful erections and how do you treat...
Published 04/22/21
How do you keep things exciting in the midst of a repetitive routine? How can adults be more playful (because playfulness is associated with happier relationships & hotter sex)? What simple changes can you implement to make your daily interactions more fun, passionate and erotic -- even if you're super busy? You're not a light switch, so you likely can't get turned on in the blink of an eye. This week to celebrate our wedding anniversary, we share 20+ specific strategies and action...
Published 04/16/21
What are the causes of pain postpartum? How can you soothe your own pain and what exercises and massage techniques can help? What does self massage entail — both directly and indirectly? And how do you assess readiness for sex postpartum? How does a Caesarian birth affect sexual functioning? Perinatal Therapist, Janette Yee, joins us to answer these questions and more. Janette's Caesarean Birth Selfcare course is now available for sign up at any time. Previously the four lessons were...
Published 04/09/21
A listener shares their story and feelings after having had cheated on their long-term partner. They ask for help managing the guilt and shame and Jess & Brandon weigh in on the topic with a discussion of: Whether or not to tell your partner about an affair Why talking about cheating can be helpful in all relationships How to talk about affairs in the hypothetical to improve understanding in relationships How the language of confession can feel burdensome How to manage...
Published 04/02/21
Adam Maurer joins us to crush on Brandon, sass Jess (with love) and answer your sex questions including: How do I pick between partners — a safe partner versus one with whom the sex is hotter? How do I deal with the fact that I love my boyfriend, but I’m no longer find him physically appealing? How can fetishes reduce stress and cultivate connection? What can we do to maintain attraction over time? What can we do to make the relationship run more smoothly? How can...
Published 03/25/21
The brilliant Luna Matatas joins us to answer your sex and pleasure questions including: How do you stimulate the prostate? What are the best anal toys for beginners? What are lactation fetishes? Does size matter? How do I get over body image issues before I go to a play party? How can I bring up fetishes to a partner? How can we normalize anal play and pegging? How can I pleasure my partner externally? Follow Luna on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube & Instagram. Be...
Published 03/19/21
Dr. Shari Nicole, Psychologist and Key Consultant of Everyday Psychology, joins us to talk about the importance and challenge of adult friendships. We discuss cutoff culture, attachments styles, boosting confidence and more including answers to these common questions: How many friends do most people have? How do childhood experiences affect adult friendships? How do you know if a friendship is worth saving? How do you know that it’s time to break up with a friend? How do you...
Published 03/12/21
Thanks to medical research and breakthroughs, we now have the tools to end the HIV epidemic. Unfortunately, we’re still a long way off on account of stigma, misinformation and a lack of awareness with regard to prevention options. So it’s essential that we talk about it. Brad McElya, joins us to take a deeper dive into the topic of HIV and answers your questions including: How have approaches to HIV shifted since the 80s? Is HIV transmission possible if you have an undetectable...
Published 03/05/21
How are trauma and liberation linked? How does trauma show up in the body? And how can you begin to heal? How does trauma play out in sex and relationships? How can you support a partner who has experienced sexual trauma? How do you talk to a new partner if you’re a survivor of sexual assault? How can therapists improve the way they support clients and what can clients ask of therapists to improve their experience in therapy? Therapist Rafaella Smith-Fiallo of Healing...
Published 02/26/21
The unapologetic sexologist, Michelle Hope, joins us to chat about HIV stigma, forced sterilization, COMMUNITYx, reproductive justice and more. We also address listener questions about anal sex, positions for a tilted cervix and loss of libido. Follow Michelle on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook. The COMMUNITYx App is the premier Social Network for Social Good. Built by changemakers, for changemakers, COMMUNITYx puts organizing and connecting around vital issues at the forefront,...
Published 02/19/21
This week Jess and Brandon discuss a new project with Walgreens related to PrEP, medication that reduces the sexual transmission of HIV by over 99%. They discuss Jess’ early work in sex education and answer listener questions including: How can I initiate sex with confidence? How do you flirt? What are the “apology languages”? How do you keep your cool during conflict? How can I get my partner to be more dominant in bed? To learn more about Walgreens PrEP, click...
Published 02/12/21