This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss the portion of Appendix A, Part 1 and Part 3. We’re skipping part 2. * I think it’s very clear that we were not really into this. * A lot of ridiculous names and quick flashes of cool stuff * Tolkien is rolling over in his grave Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss the portion of Appendix A focusing on the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen. * The tale starts with death…and ends with death * a healthy amount of doom * She calls him Estel their whole liiiiiiiiiives. * You can’t tell me they didn’t bone on that hill. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 9, The Grey Havens * Rebuilding the Shire * Galadriel’s genetics * Only Frodo has PTSD * WHERE IS THE FRODO AND ROSIE FRIENDSHIP?!?! * The Ringbearers leave. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 8, The Scouring of the Shire * So Many Hobbits In This Chapters. * Is Frodo a wizard now? * Sam, Merry and Pippin the bloodthirsty * NINETEEN DEAD HOBBITS * No wait, Frodo is a God now. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 7, Homeward Bound * Much less people in this chapter * What does Rachel want you to do with your fingerprints? * How long did we laugh at Rachel for? * Bill the Pony, King of the Wolves.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 6, Many Partings * Literally everyone is in this chapter. Again. * There’s a funeral but it isn’t the saddest thing in this chapter * We folks see each other again, or is it all a big death metaphor? * F*****g Gandalf.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 5, The Steward and the King * Faramir and Eowyn meet! * Faramir completes his hobbit pokedex * A crown is taken from a dead man. * A tree is found in the woods mountains * But like…how do we KNOW Aragorn is really the king?   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 4, The Field of Cormallen * Sam has a real good sense of smell * They have to get back in to their dirty clothes * Emmy’s favourite line in the entire book * And, as always, Aragorn needs that drama   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 3, Mount Doom * Wait, we’re still walking across Mordor? * There’s just SO much Doom in this chapter, Rachel is very happy * It’s already obvious that Caitlin isn’t happy with the movie adaptation * The eagles are coming (next time)   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 2, The Land of Shadow It’s time to walk across Mordor!. More comedic orc duos! This Nazgul wants YOUR name and number. A gobler? Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 1, The Tower of Cirith Ungol In this chapter we are back with Caitlin’s favourite Hobbit! But that still isn’t enough to save this chapter from being mostly boring. There’s architecture. And orcs! There’s more architecture and more orcs! There’s a touching reunion! Also, uh, stay until the very end after the sign off if you want to hear us continue that Redwall discussion. Support the Show at...

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 10, The Black Gate Opens In this chapter the army spends a lot of time getting to a battle…and then not much time on the battle. Merry is left behind! We were wrong last week about miles. Which is just typical us. As the army retraces Frodo and Sam’s steps, how much have we forgotten from The Two Towers? And Hobbits, man. They rock. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for...

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 9, The Last Debate It’s a chapter of standing around a talking in two different parts! The Fellowship is reunited!…mostly. Caitlin still doesn’t understand miles? How far is it from Minas Tirith to the Black Gate? I have a feeling Twitter will let us know. And Hobbits, man. They rock.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on...

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 8, The Houses of Healing Some people are healthy, and some are not. We will point out each one just in case you are confused. We meet Tolkein’s self-insert, self-burn. Also another woman! That we had forgotten about. Whoa. Caitlin has her most egregious forgetting of a name to date. And Hobbits, man. They rock.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive...

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 7, The Pyre of Denethor. Our favourite boy does just a *little* murder, and maybe a bit of treason. Feanor, thousands of years later, still causing problems for everyone. Murder-Suicide always seems like the best plan, right? We still don’t understand how the afterlife works in MiddeEarth. Presumably, we never will.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive...

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 6, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. Dernhelm is a girl? What? Who killed the Witchking? Why was there a prophesy about that? And, most importantly, Gimli has his axe.   Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

This week we discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 5, the Ride of the Rohirrim. A little less Ride and a little more Eavesdropping. Come and discuss with us as Merry is very observant, but misses some vital facts. Theoden gives some speeches and steals a horn. Eomer is racist, and Snowmane is the best horse ever. Well, the best horse that wasn’t stolen by Gandalf. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on...

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 4, The Siege of Gondor! Characters * Pippin – Guard of the Citadel, Faramir’s protector? * Gandalf – bearer of bad news, Denethor’s worst enemy apparently * Denethor – huge know-it-all, Steward of Gondor * Faramir – Captain of the White Tower, generally an island. Horse whisperer. Human whisperer? * Prince Imrahil – Faramir’s wing man and uncle * Beregond – a soldier of Gondor, helps Pippin...

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 3, The Muster of Rohan! Featuring a couple of folks who super don’t want to be left behind. Characters * Merry – a lone Hobbit * Theoden – King of Rohan * Eomer – Theoden’s nephew * Eowyn – Theoden’s neice * Dúnhere – He’s so very done * Hirgon – A messenger from Rohan * Dernhelm – A totally, completely, brand new character. Never met them before. Not at all. Also some Dunedain! One of...

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 2, The Passing of the Grey Company! We’re back with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Merry! Also appearances from some new friends and fun cameos from some old friends. Characters * Aragorn – heir to the throne, which matters again * Gimli – everyone’s favourite dwarf! * Legolas – everyone’s favourite elf! * Merry – Not everyone’s favourite hobbit (Frodo for life!) * Theoden – king of Rohan *...

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 1, Minas Tirith! We meet back up with Gandalf and Pippin, and proceed into the Kingdom of Gondor, and learn just how little Pippin has been paying attention to…well…everything. Characters * Gandalf – Wizard, herald of bad tidings * Pippin – A hobbit, all alone in the big city * Shadowfax – the best of horses   * Denethor – The Steward of Gondor * Boromir & Faramir – His two sons, not...

We finally found time to get drunk together! Please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as we eat some brunch, drink some drinks, and listen to Gollum impressions, and answer twitter’s most ridiculous middle earth related questions, like “Why does Pippin always look up when he gets an apple?” * Math and alcohol and albatrosses. Obviously * Hobbit children are ent wives and we have the science to prove it. * Caitlin obviously meant Rangers of the SOUTH every single time she said Rangers of the...

On this, our first episode of 2020, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the Two Towers movie directed by Peter Jackson. * Faramir is super different, how do we feel? * We want the version of this movie with Arwen at Helm’s Deep! * Hama for president 2020! * King Theoden, the best. * Also, we’ve accidentally been ignoring some emails. Sorry. Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us! Check out our Patreon!

On this, our last episode of 2019, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the 1978 animated movie, The Lord of the Rings. In which we ask the following very important questions: * Why doesn’t Aragorn wear pants? * Why does everyone want to punch Bilbo? * Who is Aruman? * Why is everyone the same height? If you drink alcohol, we recommend it for the viewing of this movie. If you do not…godspeed. We would still very much like to hear YOUR Gollum impressions!...