Mel Robbins, one of my favorite people to follow and listen to, says, "You are one decision away from a completely different life." I'm a huge believer in the power of this concept. I also feel like it's very applicable when it comes to making friends.   Sometimes our kids struggle to make friends because of their reputation. They don't realize they are saying or doing things that are sabotaging their reputation and, as a result, their relationships.   And sometimes our kids have great...

There's something about this time of year that seems to make parenting, teaching, just 'peopling' in general more difficult.    The shine of the new school year has worn off. Kids who haven't adapted so well to the transition are really struggling. Holidays are on the horizon, which can cause extra stress and anxiety at home. The days are getting shorter. The time change is coming. Colder weather is on its way... Anything I missed from that list?   When people feel stressed, they...

We are back from fall break!In the last 2 weeks, I have moved to another state and gone on an 8-day road trip by myself. While it seems like this would mean less social interaction since I'm no longer around people I know, it has actually required so much more! On this week's episode, I'm sharing three little things our neurodivergent kids can do on a regular basis that make a big difference when it comes to being perceived as friendly. Why does it matter how we are perceived? Because...

I just spent the weekend moving to another state! I knew I was moving, but I didn't know where I was going for sure until about a week ago. My ADHD brain loves novelty, adventure, and change, so it's been a fun experience!   I chose the place I moved to because of a certain program they have there. As part of this program, I've been plugged into a network with a bunch of other people who are also part of the program. There are organized activities, workshops, social events, etc. It really...

You know those times when your neurodivergent kiddo is being defiant, or argumentative, or disruptive? Maybe disrespectful, or even dramatic? What's up with that?? In this week's episode, I'm sharing multiple reasons why our kids can be 'prickly' sometimes. A lot of them are things you may have never thought about or understood. And of course I'm also sharing what we can do to help when our kiddos are in this space! Here's a clip from this episode: I think there's a lot of people...

My main focus at Starfish Social Club is our kids' relationships with other kids. This is, after all, a social club to teach and support neurodivergent kids in getting along with other kids.    But it's important to recognize that the main source of what our kids think and how they feel about relationships is US. The adults.    Yikes.   In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, Darlene Meissner and I are talking about this topic in depth. We are uncovering how our relationship with our...

One of the most important pieces of advice I share with parents of neurodivergent kids to build connections with their kids and try their best to understand them. I realized I haven't talked much about HOW to do that. Today's episode is all about this topic! First, please stop asking your kid how their day was. In this episode, I explain why, AND I give you a great alternative that will not only give you more information than what you are probably getting now, but it will also help you...

When I teach my students about the concept of 'reputation', one of the things we talk about is that it's totally fine and normal to act differently in different contexts. We SHOULD act differently at family dinner than in the school cafeteria. It WOULD be a good idea to talk to the principal or our boss differently than we talk to our friends. There's a term for this: It's called 'codeswitching'.  For some of our kids, we sometimes WISH they would act differently in different contexts. We...

It's back to school season for those of us in the US! That's why my guest this week is someone who works alongside our kids in the school system every day! But first, a story. A couple years ago, I saw a social media post from this dude who is a therapist and teaches social skills to ADHD boys. It said something like: Why would you trust a middle-aged woman to teach your teenage boy with ADHD social skills?? Now I know this post had nothing to do with me (I mean, I'm not even...

This is an impromtu episode I recorded because this topic was heavy on my mind. I'm sharing why I think everyone deserves to know if they have a diagnosis, when we should tell our kids, and how we can do it in an affirming way.

It's back to school season here in the US! I've been on both sides of the table in IEP meetings.  Regardless of your role in an IEP meeting, these things can get intense.  I was a special education teacher and behavior specialist for many years. I also spent a year as an assistant principal in a residential treatment center where I was the administrator who attended all the IEP meetings, about 20 each week.  In these roles, I was the so-called 'expert'. The child's teacher. The...

It's back to school season for those of us in the US!   I don't think it's a secret that I'm not a huge fan of traditional education systems. From bell schedules to having to ask to go to the restroom to the overfocus on memorization, I think these structures and expectations promote compliance and conformity. The fact that I'm not a huge fan of those things isn't a secret for sure!   While a lot of our neurodivergent kids experience social anxiety, school anxiety is another factor that...

I have never thought of myself as someone who interrupts a lot. And then I listened to the recording of this week's podcast episode. Yikes!    In my defense, I interrupted so much because I related so strongly to what my guest was sharing, and because I had so much personal experience to contribute to the discussion! Excuses and interruptions aside, it is a great episode.   In this week's podcast episode with Bobbi Westbrook, we are talking about strategies to create healthier ADHD...

In this week's podcast episode with Carrie Bonnett, we talk about the importance of self-advocacy, giving everything a home, and making the invisible visible.   To Carrie, this relates to executive functioning tasks. To me, this relates to helping my students identify and recognize how the invisible social world really works.   I had two conversations with new students this week that really highlighted the importance of making the invisible visible:   The first conversation was with a...

This week's podcast features my first guest, Chris Fugelsang. Chris is an executive functioning coach, so I figured he would be a perfect person to talk to since that's what I've been talking about all summer!  Here's a soundbite from the episode:  In my early days of teaching, I would get like, five, six kids pulled out of a class and I would have to help them manage school. And they really were weak in those areas. Intellectually they were mostly above or average intelligence, sometimes...

This is the final episode in our executive functioning series. This episode includes 10 activities you can do with your kids involving games to improve their executive functioning skills. We spend half our time at Starfish Social Club playing games! Segment from this episode: Next up is how I incorporate executive functioning skills into games. Clearly games in and of themselves work on executive functioning skills. There's not a game out there that does not work on executive functioning...

This episode focuses on working memory games to improve our kids' working memory. A lot of these are oral games that can be done anywhere. You do them at the dinner table or in the car, to start or end your day... wherever and whenever! I'll see you next week for our last set of activities: games!

This episode includes 10 building activities you can do with your kids or students to help improve their executive functioning skills. You can use any materials for this. We typically use Legos, but you can use magnetic tiles, blocks, or anything else your kids enjoy. Next week I have 10 working memory activities for you!

This episode is all about ways to improve kids' executive functioning skills using writing and drawing activities. Even if your kiddo is not a strong writer or doesn't enjoy writing, there are still plenty of activities on this list that they can do! 3:21: Support for kids who don't like to write 6:02 - Drawing activities 14:54 - Writing activites Next week I have 10 building activities for you!

For the next several weeks, we are focusing on the concept of executive functioning. If you've been in the autism/ADHD/learning disabilities world for any amount of time, this term is probably really familiar to you. It can be defined in a lot of different ways, and it can be quite confusing. Today I'm talking about: 3:02: What is executive functioning? 4:08: Memory 9:18: Planning 13:21: Inhibition 17:28: Summary and what's coming up next! Segment from this episode: Kids in class...

The three things we've talked about over the last three weeks, and how they all come together to create our unique program and system at Starfish Social Club. The direct instruction through our curriculum, the feedback our students receive, and the community that is created amongst the students here. They are all three vital to the success of our students, and what happens if one or even two of these elements are missing in the program that students may be in now outside of Starfish Social Club.

All about the connection our students have with each other at Starfish Social Club! We are talking about what makes the experience here so unique, some of the authentic conversations we have had with students around autism and uniqueness, and why we do not intentionally separate our students by age or by "ability".

In this episode, we're talking about the SECOND most important concept in our program at Starfish Social Club: Helpful social feedback! None of us are able to make progress if we aren't getting helpful feedback from important people in our lives! Without feedback, we aren't able to address the things that people may find annoying, frustrating, selfish, etc. about us! At Starfish Social Club, we teach all of our students to give each other social feedback. When our kiddos do things that may...

The number one factor that has to do with whether other kids want to be around our neurodivergent kids, or not! This determines whether our kids have other kids who like them, avoid them, or even go out of their way to be unkind. This one thing is what our entire program at Starfish Social Club is based on. The best thing about this concept is that once our students are aware of this one thing, they can change it if they choose to do so!

Our most effective strategy for helping our students understand the natural, social consequences of the choices they make. There are going to be people who hear it and maybe think they can't imagine implementing this strategy or feel surprised that it's successful. It may feel a little extreme. From my neurodivergent perspective, it is necessary in order for our autistic and ADHD kids to build their level of social awareness. It's also just as beneficial for all the other students who are in...