Dirty fingernails abound as we journey back to the 50s, a simpler time when people were still figuring out basic grooming. How do you use a toothbrush? Look, it’s complicated. Thrill as we gasp out loud at the extreme levels of sexism in what is secretly a sock fetish film! Chill as we feel uncomfortable when the teens who were cast to play siblings have a little too much on-screen chemistry! We’re discovering the true meanings of cave paintings, pondering whether children were more stinky...

Ah, 2016. It was a simpler time when Americans had nothing to fear but killer clowns. And that, according to this documentary, is all thanks to Wrinkles the Clown. He’s a 65-year-old Florida man, an internet star gone viral, and a questionable tool parents can use to discipline their children. When the documentary unmasks its monster like a clumsy episode of Scooby Doo, we’ll question everything we were told, wade through the last third of a very boring documentary waiting for the point, and...

  Meet Jackie Siegel. Jackie’s a former IBM engineer, a former Mrs. Florida, and she might be on her way to being a former Mrs. Siegel if her husband makes good on his threats to trade her in for multiple 20-year-olds.  Speaking of her husband, meet David Siegel. David is a self-made billionaire with a thing for pageant girls and cheap bank loans that have allowed him to build a timeshare empire on the backs of Walmart shoppers. Together they’ll face the challenge of feeling cramped in their...

Meet Jeremiah, a self-styled auteur with a love for filmmaking but a seeming aversion to editing.  Together with Troy, a paranormal investigator who is afraid of the dark, and his girlfriend Ashley, a woman who is nothing less or more than whelmed by the experience, the three hapless investigators will explore the second-most haunted house in Texas. Thrill as they use state-of-the-art gaming technology from 2005 to paint a skeleton on a large bouncy ball! Chill as they enter a psychedelic...

On this episode, we watch one of the most un-creatively named documentaries we’ve ever watched for this podcast. You know what? Screw it. Cue the orchestra.  TWINE WARS Turmoil has engulfed the world of TWINE BALL rollers. For a generation, Francis and Frank, two twine ball rollers of noble ambition, have battled for the distinction of creating THE WORLD’S LARGEST BALL OF TWINE.  Upon Frank’s passing, his Kansas home town relocates the ball to the town square and uses an army of people and...

Four unlucky-in-love men have given up on American women and traveled half-way across the globe to Ukraine.  Led by John (not just the president, but also a client), and Bob (tour director of the damned), they’ll attend a dance club that might actually be a Ukrainian baby shower, have a run in with a loan shark and corrupt law enforcement, introduce themselves to every woman in the room, and get engaged faster than you can say, “I’m not sure that’s the woman you’ve been emailing.” In fact,...

In times like these, we could all use the comfort of a warm hairy embrace. It's time for another service at the Church of Bigfoot! When a young girl named Kiana sees a bear in the woods, it will inspire her to take the name “Bigfoot Girl” and launch her on a lifelong quest for a close encounter of the hairy kind. We were hoping for a documentary that would finally bring some gender parity to the field of Bigfoot studies, but we should have known better given the film’s Cinemax cover...

Toads gone wild! It’s the 1930s and sugar is booming, particularly in North Queensland, Australia. But the farmers there have a problem: grubs are eating their crops. The Bureau of Sugar Experiment Stations, desperate to get the farmers off their backs, attend the World Conference of Sugar Technologists in Puerto Rico and get the brilliant idea to import toads to Australia to eat the grubs and save the crops. The toads, rudely handled and unfed during their two-week journey, arrive in...

Meet John. And Matt. And Harper. And Nate. And another John. And Grey. And Dan. And Tyler. And Patrick. And another John. And…. Okay, let’s try this again.  Meet Chris. He owns a parking lot, and in this movie we’re going to meet about twenty of his past and current parking lot attendants. From one cynical white male wannabe philosopher to the next cynical white male wannabe philosopher, thrill as cynical white male wannabe philosophers hate-park cars in what could have been called...

When three very literal, very Catholic, very Canadian sisters decide getting sugar daddies might be their shortcut to financial success, what could go wrong?  They’ll entice guys with photos of their pets, go on dates for free because they don’t know how to ask for money, and then sell themselves short by pointing out how the exchange rate means they could be paid less. Featuring a really, really, really disappointed mom (really), a juicylicious man who feels like the personification of a...

Meet Leonard. He’s an actor whose popular TV show has been cancelled and the movie revival of that show has yet to begin. You might say he’s In Search Of … employment. What he finds is the opportunity to make 150 episodes of a show devoted to the exploration of unsolved mysteries and things that defy explanation. Things like “psy trailing” where a family projects their location to their dog Bobby when they leave him at a rest stop 2,000 miles from home. Things like a fighting fish so strong...

Meet Shauna and Josh. First came love, then came marriage, then came the BS-filled documentary about their extraterrestrial, transdimensional, paranormal experiences.  Valentine’s Day is approaching and love is in the air. So are stars, satellites, and streetlights, but for the purposes of this documentary, let’s call all of those things “UFOs.” What starts as the premise of an X-Files episode devolves quickly as Shauna explains how red airplane lights cause ovarian cysts and Josh is...

Meet Bradley. As a boy, his cousins from Oklahoma showed him the scars on their arms from fishing for catfish barehanded. In other words, they were Okie Noodlers.  Fast forward many years and adult Bradley decides to revisit this fishing subculture. When he finally finds some people willing to fess up to this behavior, he’ll go on a journey that ultimately leads to him establishing the first ever noodling tournament. Along the way, he'll introduce the viewer to a pantheon of men who you will...

Meet Emily. Her hair is short, but her list of husbands is long. When a slow news day in the UK leads to the creation of a documentary The Guardian, The Daily Mail, and the Daily Telegraph all rave as the best thing ever, Jaime and Dave have no choice but to check this out for themselves and discover firsthand that the British media is wrong. So. Very. Wrong. Join us as we discuss the finer points of biganometry, ponder the raw undeniable machismo of train guards, and pitch “Bigammers,” our...

Meet Samantha. She’s a 40-something animal trainer determined to take her cats on the road and catch her big break, even if it costs her hundreds of thousands of dollars to get there. According to her assistant Lynsi, a neat thing about Samantha is that she doesn’t think things all the way through, but then again, Lynsi also thought she was having a career crisis BEFORE she was living in a motorhome with a middle-aged woman trying to run a cat circus. We’ll witness heavy flirting, discuss...

Tis the season to be grumpy, at least according to a bunch of middle-aged British men and, for some reason, Elliott Gould. From Arthur, who hates that Christmas happens every 365 days, to John, who hates that Margaret Thatcher didn’t hand-sign her Christmas cards, to the narrator, who hates Christmas cards and possibly his wife, we’re working through a laundry list of everything wrong with the holidays. We’re buying last-minute presents at gas stations, holding carolers hostage, and standing...

Meet Kurt and Russ, two middle-aged stone skippers jockeying for the Guinness World Record for most skips.  Kurt has a good heart, but we still have some questions about that hole he’s digging in his yard, and he’s definitely not making it out of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory in one piece. There’s also Max, the young stone skipping upstart, and his father Eric, a stone skipping competition announcer who doesn’t have a big vocabulary but does have the enthusiasm of someone announcing the...

Meet Harrod Blank. He’s a tall, attractive young man with a good head of hair, and within five minutes of knowing him you probably won’t be surprised to learn that as a child he spent more time with chickens than with people.  Harrod’s devoted his life to making and celebrating art cars, which is all fine and good, but what this documentary unintentionally celebrates is Harrod’s love life. Thrill as Harrod falls for what seems to be the first non-chicken, non-mom female he meets, then...

Someone has taken their love of monkeys too far! Halloween might be over, but on this episode we find ourselves stuck in what feels like a carnival funhouse filled with people who insist their monkeys are their literal children. Join us as we travel across some of our least favorite flyover states to meet Silly Willy, Butters, and Jessica Marie (all three of those are monkeys, in case you were unsure).  Along the way we'll see monkeys thrown out of restaurants, discover something worse than...

It’s the spookiest time of the year and only one documentary could make us wonder, “Is that a smudge on my iPad or a ghost in that guy’s kitchen?” Meet Mabel, a ghost so non-descript we’re surprised she even has a name. She is mysteriously the same height and build as the daughter of the guy whose house she’s haunting. We also think her dad might be Channing Tatum in disguise. Where's Scooby Doo when we need him? Mabel’s absolute favorite thing is haunting pantries at precisely 12:34 a.m.,...

Have you heard this one before? There's a square hole opening in the sun and we're all invited by the dung beetles to jump in the hidden stargate and warp to another galaxy as foretold by the birds that fly while sitting down. Okay, two years later and we still don't know what most of that means, but we can assure you that's by far the most succinct summary you're going to get of The Knowledge of the Forever Time, which was early proof our podcast was onto something and also proof that there...

  Kelly is a no-budget horror film director who often casts his movies from Craig’s List and whoever happens to be on set. He’s just wrapped on The Mephisto Box, a film featuring telekinesis, astral travel, flying daggers, and a woman in a wheelchair restoring her legs through the power of Satan. But his film is missing something! It needs more production value, and by that he means more action, more blood, a submissive who can resurrect the dead, and a new lead character played by Alison...

Meet Troy. He’s a “Pain don’t hurt” sorta fella with a mullet, a raspberry beret, and a giant 150-pound suit designed to withstand an encounter with a grizzly bear. When a younger Troy stares down a grizzly bear and lives to tell the very lengthy tale, it launches him on a lifelong journey to once again face the beast, but this time without leaving anything to chance. To that end, Troy has spent a lot of his life and a lot of his money making a suit that is resistant to fire, arrows,...

Are you scared? Could you at least pretend to be? No? Excellent. You’re a perfect fit for Scare Tactics, a show that’s on Axel’s list of guilty pleasures, but Dave is feeling much more skeptical about. (And guess who’s writing this episode description?) Journey with us through two episodes and eight pranks where the victims seem more confused than anything else. Except for poor Darian in that last prank. Even Dave has a soft spot for Darian. Not helping at all is Tracy Morgan, who is...