In this forth episode of the "All Things Uncomfortable" podcast, we have a special guest, Dr. Judy Chu, a lecturer at Stanford University who is an expert on boys' psychosocial development. In our session together, Judy, Marc and I explore themes of masculinity and mens' mental health. Drawing from her extensive research and personal experiences, Dr. Chu talks about the societal pressures placed on boys, how these pressures shape boys' relationships, and the effects on their mental health. She underscores the importance of nurturing emotional openness and vulnerability in boys and men, challenging traditional masculine norms. We also explore how male privilege and patriarchal societal structures impact mens' mental health, shedding light on the complexities surrounding masculinity today. We also explore how gender dynamics and stereotypes could affect relationships and individuals' identity, delving into the topic of patriarchal society and male privilege. We examine how these systems can benefit certain groups, while also adversely affecting the mental health of those who buy into the system.  Lastly, all three of us look at potential male role models for nurturing, equitable and nonviolent masculinity. 00:00 Intro 00:26 Judy background and research on Boy’s psychosocial development 03:09 The underlying social pressures of Gender Stereotypes on Boys 03:20 Is the question “Is it a boy or girl” even a relevant question today? 04:09 What inspired Judy’s journey to advocacy for Boys' Development?   08:35 Judy explains the Role of Trust in Boys' Development 09:25 The gap between boys’ reality and ‘The Way Things Are’  10:15. What is the “Mask of Masculinity” 11:50  The Rules of ‘Being One of The Boys’ 12:58 Marc shares about his experience growing up 15:10: What is the Chinese cultural burden of ‘keeping it in’? 16:50 What happens when Masculinity gets valued over Femininity? 18:49 What does the expectation to prove masculinity look like? 20.01  Deborah asks what ‘You’re acting like a girl’ - mean? 21:20 What’s the cost of devaluing femininity? 23:38 The desire to ‘fit in’ vs. bringing your authentic self into relationship  25:40 The Social Mask of Posturing: A Shift From Presence to Pretense 26:23 Why does patriarchy still exist? 29:05 What is a healthy resistance to patriarchy? 30:33 The Myth of Masculinity & Unattainable Standards & Shame 32:07 How Patriarchy affects Men’s Mental Health 34:13 How being disconnected from oneself leads to disconnection from others 35:12 How Capitalism and Patriarchy are intertwined 36:29 Can emotional intimacy exist in an unfair/controlling relationship? 45:47 What does “nurturing, equitable, non-violent masculinity” look like?  55:19  What’s the masculine-feminine dynamic in relationship? 59:00 Getting to know Judy - Rapid Fire Questions 1:07:38 End notes and the next ‘All Things Uncomfortable’ topic Unveiled! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/creaturae/message