In this episode I give you the break down of what I learned from running my third marathon. This was to Utah Valley Marathon that started in Provo Canyon. The Race was a challenge to say the least! I wanted to share a few the things I learned and the takeaways for life. Things around preparation, expectations, embracing obstacles, setting goals and accountability, people, and one final lesson you will have to listen for! ...

The most powerful human need is to be seen and heard. We want to be know that matter. In this episode I explore the impact of not being seen or heard in our lives. The lack of having that type of acknowledgment in our life comes with a variety of consequences, including losing trust in our inclinations and our intuitive needs. I discuss a variety a ways that we try and compensate for this in our lives. Finally, I talk about the ways we can heal this wound in our lives For more info on me...

This episode is a result of the thought I had while watching the documentary called Dynasty. It’s about the New England Patriots and in particular the focus on Bill Belichick and Tom Brady and how he came to be the Patriots quarterback. As Fate would have hit a huge hit on the starter at the time, Drew Bledsoe opened the door for Brady to get his opportunity! An opportunity he did not let go of and turned into 7 Super Bowls! It got me thinking about fate and the role it plays in our life. I...

In this episode I tackle the topic of relationships. It’s Valentines Day so I assume everyone is thinking about their relationships and how they want them to improve! With 20 years of experience in the field and seeing thousands of couples I thought to myself, I should know what are essential components to a successful relationship. Sit back, take notes and enjoy my relationship essentials and see where you can be better with your partner. From Trust to Connection I have you covered and as a...

In this episode I break down the concept of mental load. It refers to the invisible burden that is associated with the effort involved in managing your work, relationships, family and household. This is typically associated with woman in a relationship. There are 4 parts to the mental load: anticipate, identify, decide, and monitor. Education and awareness are key to helping to alleviate the burden of the mental load that exists in the relationship. I also share details about my own...

Being traumatized means continuing to organize your life as if the trauma were still going on. In this episode I discuss how we organize our lives based on our traumatic experiences. They hey is being able to identify what the patterns are and how they are connected to our previous trauma. The metaphor of sitting your poopy diaper will be explained in the episode. For more go to my website www.ryanwynder.com or follow me on Instagram @thevegastherapist

In this episode I update everyone on what I have been up to and what things have been going on in my life since the last episode. My focus is on the value of time. As we approach this new year how do we want to utilize our time for effectively. Time is the stuff life is made of and our use of it determines many things things in our life. I leave you with 3 questions - 1. What do you want to do with this one wild and precious life. 2. How do you want to show up as a friend, partner, worker,...

In this episode Ryan dives into part 2 of 2. This episode will focus more on the Defense Mechanisms we use to keep us "safe" or to keep us feeling more hurt or pain in our lives. "Most of us do not reenact the experience of the trauma itself. Instead we act out the coping strategy (or defense mechanism) we evolved to deal with the trauma. Ryan will discuss a number of different defense mechanisms we utilize, including Terrance Real's adaptive child defense, self-abandonment, disconnection,...

In this episode Ryan breaks down the first of a two part episode. The focus for the first episode will be on Triggers. The word trigger itself has become a hot topic and according to MaryCatherine McDonald and her new book Unbroken, it has become a catchall for any occasion in which we have an emotion that is remotely unpleasant or unwanted. This misconception also leads to a misunderstanding of how we deal with triggers when they happen. We have learned to block and avoid instead of adapting...

Just in time for Father's Day! In this episode I sit down with David Frey, who is currently a marriage researcher and coach for men who want to be better husbands in their relationships. David himself has been married for 33 years to Ingrid Frey. They met as missionaries in Bolivia and started dating in college. They adopted two children at birth. Their names are Sterling, who is 26 and Alina, who is 21. David has worked as an executive in the business world and as a solo entrepreneur for...

In this episode, I welcome in Kathy Moffat, who currently is a Relationship Coach. For this show though, she is hear to share her story about raising a child that has severe Mental Health issues. Kathy and I have been intertwined for 16 years now as we have worked together in helping her son. This was a very real and vulnerable conversation about the challenges that come with having a child that experiences these things. Kathy digs into some of the more difficult topics such as fear,...

I am honored to celebrate my 100th episode with my special guest MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD. She is the author of the book Unbroken: The Trauma Response is Never Wrong. MC (as she goes by), is a research professor and life coach who has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma since beginning her PhD in 2009. For more, visit alchemycoaching.life or follow her on Instagram @mc.phd This episode is like a Trauma 101 of sorts....

In this episode I discuss the process of taking power back in our lives. There are a number of things in life that can take our power from us: trauma, people, and especially negative labels. When these things have taken us down and put us in a cage or we find ourselves feeling powerless or helpless to them, its time to take a stand and take our power back. In order to take back the reins we may need to understand what we are fighting in the first place, or that the way we have been fighting...

In this episode I sit down with my fellow colleague Lauren Schloss. Lauren is a Licensed Drug and Alcohol Counselor and CPC Intern. She has been practicing as a therapist for 10+ years. As a therapist Lauren has great perspective and specializes in working with individuals who struggle with addiction, trauma, low self-esteem, and depression. Over the course of the last year, Lauren lost both of her parents, and as an only child the caregiver role fell solely on her. All of this while having a...

In this episode, I discuss the details of a new book I have been reading by Terrance Real, called "US." It was a great follow up to my previous episode with my wife Sonia as we shared secrets to our successful 25 year marriage. In Real's Book he identifies a rhythm in relationship - Harmony, Disharmony, and Repair. This rhythm is cyclical and we move through it multiple times within the term of our relationships. An important realization for many in relationships is that their will be...

In this episode, I welcome a special guest to the show! My wife Sonia joins me, as we recently celebrated our "Silver" anniversary. I wanted share with you what has worked for us in our relationship and the things that we feel can lead to a successful marriage. In the episode, we share our story of how we met and then delve into some of the keys to marriage. Topics include: Love & commitment, time together, chemistry & compatibility, growth, interests, communication and of course SEX!...

In this episode I sit down with Dr. Randall Bell, who recently came out with the book Post-Traumatic Thriving. Dr. Bell has specialized in disaster recovery and has been involved in such events as the World Trade Center, Flight 93, Sandy Hook, Hurricane Katrina, OJ Simpson and Heavens gate to name a few. In his book he lays out the academic research about trauma as well as discusses his own PTSD as a child. In the episode we dive into the 3 phases of Trauma outlined in his book: The Dive...

Dr. Anna Lembke received her undergraduate degree in Humanities from Yale University and her medical degree from Stanford University. She is currently Professor and Medical Director of Addiction Medicine, Stanford University School of Medicine. She is also Program Director of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Fellowship, and Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. She is a diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, and a diplomate of the American Board...

In this episode I welcome in my guest September Frogley, she is the founder of Connection is the Cure. The goals of this foundation include: 1. Normalize and encourage ongoing conversations about mental health and suicide prevention, 2. Equip people with prevention strategies, 3. Connect people to resources in the community and each other! September shares her personal story with losing her brother to suicide and how that experience sent her down this path to create this foundation to raise...

In this episode I tackle the topic of goal setting! There are a few key parts for a new way to set goals that I address in the episode. First, there are two types of motivation, "Want-to" and "Have-to" Motivation, the type you have will influence your overall success with achieving your goals! The main part of the episode is dedicated to having goals that are centered in our values. Goals that are value based have lasting power and generates enduring motivation. A value is not something to be...

In this episode I approach the topic of Emotional Maturity. I really have connected with this concept because I think we can all use work in this area. Each of us have areas we can improve on when it comes to our emotional maturity. An emotional immature person will find it hard to communicate or process their emotions and can appear selfish or aloof, it also is the lack of ability to regulate our emotions or to sit in emotional discomfort.  Emotional immaturity comes from how our...

In this episode I continue the to discuss working with The Shadow. In particular I focus on the most common manifestation of the Shadow, the inferior shadow. I reference the book The Tools, by Stutz and Michels. Discussion includes why its so important to understand your shadow, how we become dependent on outside sources for approval and validation, and the hiding place for our garbage becomes our inner self. Ultimately we turn something beautiful (inner self) into something we despise (the...

In this episode I tackle the topic of the Shadow Self. This concept was introduced early in Psychotherapy history by Carl Jung. The Shadow Self is the part of us we want to hide from the world. For some it is our dark side, others it may be a hurt or trauma they have experienced, it can also be a feeling of unworthiness or less than, or evan a behavior. According to Jung, "there could be no light without shadow, no psychic wholeness without imperfection." The Shadow is everything which one...

In this episode I explore the concept of self-gaslighting. I found this to be a very interesting concept and wanted to do a show specifically about it. One reason I did this show was that I feel we all can relate in someway to having done this to ourselves. In the episode I break down 5 ways we may be self gaslighting. I also help identify people who may struggle more with the specific types. In addition to what self gaslighting can look like, I also provide things we can do to prevent it....