Today’s episode is inspired by a question a client recently put forward… And the answer is not going to be easy for most of you to hear. This client said that she always gives people the benefit of the doubt, trying to offer the most generous assumptions when it comes to their behavior…but when it comes to her partner, she immediately thinks—and says—the worst about his behavior. Why does that happen? This is extremely common in relationships, particularly longer-term relationships. You’ve...

I have a complicated relationship with vulnerability. When I first started this work, I couldn’t even say the f*cking WORD. And even though I’ve gotten so much better about it…it’s still terrifying. I don’t want people to see me as less than perfect. I don’t want them to see me struggle. Because what if they see I’m not perfect, that I don’t have it all together, and I lose my credibility? What if they don’t want to work with me anymore? But I choose to be vulnerable anyway. Even on one of...

When you’re fighting to win the argument, not to reconnect with your partner…everyone loses. We all looove winning an argument…at first. It feels f*cking great to get the last word. The high of nailing that last comeback is addicting… And so, so fleeting. It feels good in the moment to “win”...but the thing is, you haven’t actually “won.” In fact, odds are good that both your partner AND you have lost something through this conflict. If you’re struggling with unresolved conflict in your...

I am on the edge of my f*****g seat today about getting to introduce you to my newest guest: one of my OG clients from all the way back in Connected Woman circa 2020, Steph Normoyle! Steph Normoyle is a somatic practitioner and the founder of Club Soma, a wellness space for women seeking true embodied transformation—without the b******t. As a somatic practitioner, she helps women connect with their bodies, rediscover their desires, and express themselves with boldness and integrity.  But...

People have some intense f*****g beliefs surrounding anxious attachment… “Anxious attachers are unstable.” “Anxious attachers are just way too f*****g emotional.” “My anxious attachment means I’ll never have a relationship—I don’t deserve it.” No, no, and fuuuucking no. Anxious attachment causes some wild behaviour…but none of it makes you unworthy of love. And like all behaviours, we can find ways to clock them, own them, and clean them up. Let’s go over seven myths about anxious...

Here’s a question for you: Are you a controlling partner? If your gut reaction was “F**K no! I’m not controlling at all!” or “Not a chance, my partner’s the controlling one!” or some other f*****g enraged denial… Let me change the question. Have you ever cancelled plans with your friends to meet up with the guy you’ve been on a couple dates with? Have you ever apologized first in a fight…even if you’re not at fault? Have you ever dropped everything in order to be there for your partner,...

I’m going to be honest… People love to joke about something being healing to their inner child. But if you’re not ACTUALLY doing the work to heal your inner child, well… Bad news. She’s actually going to f*ck up your love life for the foreseeable future. I’m not saying this to put you down—it’s just the truth. If your inner child is acting up, it’s going to ruin your ability to have a secure, stable relationship…and a lot of other important things, too. You wouldn’t let your six-year-old...

It’s no secret that shadow work is the most popular girl in school when it comes to the personal development world. It’s trendy. It’s everywhere. Everyone’s talking about it, including me… But before you get into shadow work, you have to spend some time with her less sexy sister.  Everyone, say hello to ego work…and say goodbye to your aversion to vulnerability. Because without vulnerability, you actually can’t form fulfilling, deep, intimate relationships with others…romantic or...

What do getting attacked by a bear and your partner not answering your text have in common? Absolutely f*cking nothing…but according to your dysregulated nervous system? It can’t spot the differences between those two pictures. When you’re living with a dysregulated nervous system, everything is a threat. And when everything is a threat, you’re always living in one of four modes: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. None of which will allow for a healthy, connected relationship. Your nervous...

We talk all the time about why you need to do the work…but what happens AFTER you do the work? One of my long-time clients, Ashley LaButte, is here to share her story. From realizing something needed to change, to committing herself to actually DOING THE WORK, to finally manifesting something she’s been working for years to manifest…her story truly displays how f*cking beautiful your life can get when you actually commit to doing the thing. You can’t just throw money or intention at...

Have I got a f*****g treat for you this week, my loves… Please welcome the incredible Riley May onto the podcast! Riley is a business and mindset mentor who supports women in becoming the most intelligent versions of themselves so that their lives reflect what they desire, not what they unconsciously settle for. And while we talked about a fuckton of fascinating things (the words “That needs to go on a t-shirt” were uttered more than once between the episode we did for her podcast and this...

It’s my favorite time of year… HAPPY CONNECTED WOMAN SEASON, LOVES! This is my signature course for a f*cking reason, y’all. It is all about you connecting to YOU first and foremost—the romantic relationship is just a bonus on top of that. Whether you're coming into this program single, married, divorced, dating, or anything in between, transforming your current or future relationship with a partner into something healthy and fulfilling comes as a result of you connecting to you… And the...

You might not know it…but if you’re a people-pleaser, your need to be liked is seriously f*cking with your confidence. How do I know? Because once upon a time, I was also a people-pleaser. …No, seriously. I was 100% a people pleaser.  I don’t come off like one now. I’ve done a lot of f”cking work to clean up that pattern. But let me tell you…until I did, my confidence was f*cked. If you’re not willing to be totally, courageously yourself—and you’ve got a bad habit of trying to chameleon...

There’s one thing we can all agree on: if your partner has an affair, that’s a dealbreaker. Relationship f*cking over. Not so fast, loves. I don’t think it’s quite that black and white…I think there are plenty of shades of gray hiding in there. And if you’re wondering how tf a relationship could ever come back from infidelity, don’t worry…you’re about to find out. I am so thrilled to have one of my star students (not to mention a badass self-love and relationship coach in her own right)...

If you’ve been listening to me chat about confidence these past few weeks and you’ve been like, “Great…but where do I start?” You start right here, my loves. I have seven steps to share with you today to work on building your confidence—and you don’t have to wait forever and a day for them to start working. If you start doing them consistently (and we are big supporters of ALL kinds of consistency here at UFYR—not everything has to be done on the daily to be “consistent”) you WILL see your...

Hey, people-pleasers… I have something to say that you’re not going to want to hear. But you need to hear it anyway, so listen tf up: People-pleasing is the most selfish thing in the f*cking world. Did I just send your ego into a f*cking tailspin? Then this episode is for you. People-pleasing actually has nothing to do with other people at all. It has everything to do with you. And if you don’t believe me, great. By the end of this episode, you’re going to have your whole world rocked. ...

Let me ask you a question… What’s stopping you from being confident? “Well, I’m super shy. I’m afraid to make my voice heard.” “I don’t like being in the spotlight.” “I don’t know how to assert myself; I don’t know how to take up space.” Um…who said you had to? Look, my expression of confidence…it’s loud. It’s bold. I take up space. It can be triggering for people to look at… But if you aren’t like that, that doesn’t mean you can’t be confident…because that’s not what confidence IS....

Have you ever gone out and INTENTIONALLY tried to get rejected? Uh, no? What kind of psycho would go out and intentionally suffer through rejection? …It’s me. Hi. I’m the psycho, it’s me.  If you’ve been following along on Insta, then you already know I’m in the middle of a thirty-day practice where I go out every single day and do something to intentionally get rejected. And while I’ve experienced a surprising amount of “yeses” to my requests, I’ve also experienced plenty of “nos”...and a...

If you’re doing “the work” in order to get a man…you’re missing the point. I’m not saying you can’t do manifestation work to manifest a partner—of course you can. I’m talking about when you’re doing the internal work to reconnect to yourself in order to attract a man. When women do the work to get a man, it usually comes from a place of deep self-loathing and a sense of incompleteness…and they think a relationship will provide them with a sense of fulfillment they can’t achieve on their...

If you look at me and think, “Well, it’s easy for her. She’s always been embodied. I’ll never be like that…” LOL. No, bitch, I f*****g was not. I was living so deeply in my own head that I had no idea how disconnected I was from my body until I signed up for a feminine embodiment retreat. The practices we did there were triggering tf out of me. That retreat kicked my ass… And it was the exact thing I needed.  That retreat is why I do what I do now. In fact, I wouldn’t be hosting my own...

So. You’re having doubts about whether you’re in the right relationship for you. Here’s the good news: you’re not alone. Almost everyone goes through a phase of doubt…either when the honeymoon phase ends, or when you’re about to take the relationship to the next level. We are designed to attach to the people we’re in a relationship with. Our bodies flood with all kinds of “love drug” chemicals that cause us to pay attention to all the ways we’re similar, not all the ways we’re...

“I just don’t want a relationship right now.” Did your heart just drop? You’re not alone—I’ve gotten this from men I dated in the past, and fuuuuck it hurts.  It’s totally normal for it to hurt. Attachment happens fast as fuck—our bodies are designed to flood with chemicals to get us to bond with someone when they show us interest.  But even though it’s normal, there’s still some shit we need to get straight…like what you should and ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT do in order to get a guy to commit...

Recently, I talked about friendship breakups, and how to go about “getting back together” with an ex-friend…but I didn’t share who, exactly, I was reconnecting with. However, as a certain someone says in this episode, you all just proved that I attract Swifties in my audience…because a lot of you did some intense f*cking detective work and figured out who I was talking about anyway. So please welcome my dearest friend, whom I recently reconnected with: Caitlin Hosking, a shadow-work...

What do you think men find alluring in a woman? Whatever answer you gave…it’s probably wrong.  It’s not about your appearance. It’s not about being a certain way or doing certain things to trick or coerce a man into wanting you. It’s about connecting to yourself in a way that attracts a man who will love, cherish, and honor you. Not one who just wants to f*ck around and keep you around to boost his ego. There’s a reason I go on and on and on about connecting to yourself on a deep...