Out of control Karen’s are the poster people for the rise in bad behavior. Uncertainty causes fear, and fear causes anger. All too often that anger is vented in the wrong venue. Customers rage at service workers, policies trigger push back, and those who want things to ‘go back to normal’ (whatever that is) are walking around in a heightened emotional state that your staff has to deal with. In today’s episode, what ONE THING you can do to tame those unruly clients

We spend a lot of time with the people we work with. Whether in person or online friendships form, and leadership often tries to encourage a sense of camaraderie with staff. Without knowing it, this can create strife between coworkers without meaning to. When does camaraderie become toxic? With a nod to systems theory, we can learn how and why what is intended as 'team building' may, in fact, grow animosity.  Got a Question? Comment? Email [email protected] © Lara Currie 2021

Do you ever wonder how a workplace turns toxic? It doesn’t happen all at once, and it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Like a pot that slowly boils there are a lot of steps along the way where you can stop the chain reaction of events before the workplace turns toxic. When blame, exaggeration, and generalizations are used in a conflict communication gets lost. Generalizing is another way to label and dismiss a person or a topic.

On top of everything else that you have had to deal with this past year, now loneliness is on the rise, and the impact of loneliness on you and the work you do is impactful. Douglas Nemecek, MD, chief medical officer for behavioral health at Cigna says that the impact of loneliness on your health is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is possibly worse than obesity and that isolated people risk having a significantly shorter life span.  I don’t think it's any surprise that any...

Our best self makes all the plans but she doesn't always show up to implement them The world is full of information, a plethora of knowledge is just a Bing search away, psych, we all use google. Yet with all this information at our fingertips, we can know a thing, understand it, but when it comes to implementing, it’s not as simple, we can have a hard time putting that information, that knowledge into practice.  So what do you need to make sure that you, and your team, walk the walk, and...

This is a juicy episode filled with the way’s that you can use stories in your everyday work life, from the boardroom to the stage. Carol and I talk about everything from our personal struggles and successes to the DNA of the feminine, from speaker hijackers to why Emma should stop watching Law and Order SVU. Carol tells us how she uses the three-act story structure and the Hero’s journey when working with clients.   © Lara Currie 2021 difficulthappens.com

Well, some difficult S*it just happened. In 176 weeks of recording the difficult happens podcast, I have never missed a publication.  It’s time for me to model the very behavior I talk about. We will all go through some … stuff in our lives and I want you to do the same when you encounter some really difficult stuff,  take care of yourself and your family. Next week, I will be back and I will be combating toxic, manipulative, bullying behavior head-on!  www.difficulthappens.com

Everyone, at one point in their life, has experienced a compliment that did not sit right. Either it was way too personal, or it felt a little backhanded. That's why we're tackling whether or not compliments are toxic! When we break down compliments, we can see that it depends on a variety of factors; Who is giving the compliment, the context, and the motive. When it comes to genuine compliments, you know it when you see it.    What you’ll hear on today’s episode: Compliments...

"Knowledge is when you learn something new every day." We learn learn learn all day long but do we take enough time to apply? I love to learn, and learning the concepts is one thing, but implementing is another. This brings us to the one thing that we all need that we cannot do without. Something paramount to implementing better ways of communication, and that is empathy. What is empathy to you?   Empathy is the ability to understand what other people feel emotionally and see things from...

What kind of energy do you give off? Do you find yourself expressing more masculine attributes or feminine? This concept of masculine and feminine has been around a lot, and we are beginning to see it take hold in the entrepreneurial and small business fields. Someone who is more focused and driven is seen to have stronger masculine traits, while more caring and creative is seen as having more feminine traits. Discussing masculine and feminine energies is based on a continuum, yin and yang....

Have you ever found yourself engulfed in a project, focused on the little details like font or style, and before you realize it, hours have passed?  Guess what? You were distracted. Distracted does not always mean bouncing from one task to another or getting lost on Facebook when you should be working on a report. You can be hyper-focused on a task but be focused on something that does not serve your end goal.  In the end, it doesn't matter why you were distracted. The effect is the same.  ...

When you think of someone who's being assertive, what comes to mind? Do you see someone who is direct and confident, or do you see someone who is confrontational and forceful? Have you ever been accused of being “aggressive”? Was it a valid critique or was it an attempt to shut you down? Assertive communication is often confused with being aggressive by those who do not like what you are saying, but they are NOT the same. Toxic workplaces, toxic relationships happen one breach at a time,...

In a world that is increasingly growing more visual, how do you keep up? Younger and younger generations are becoming more socially competent in understanding differences in the "true-self" and "Instagram-self," but what about information spread online? 86% of people are now what is known as a  "visual learner." Infographics and other visual aids are a great way to absorb information. However, as we look at older generations, we see a problem where we have not kept up on our education with...

Do you consider yourself a loyal person? Do you expect loyalty from your friends? On this episode of Toxic or Not, we are tackling loyalty. Many see loyalty as a black and white issue. You're either loyal or you're not, when in reality, there is a lot of room for the shades of gray.  I conducted a (very unscientific) poll gathering information on whether people perceived loyalty as a positive or a negative, and the results were surprising.  Older generations were most likely to have a...

Who likes to talk about money? Money and finances can be a minefield. How much should I charge? What are my costs? Do I really need this? There is a lot to contemplate! There is a lot of advice out there, stalwarts preach that we should put money into an IRA or 401K, that we should do this or don't do that, and not question it. But know what? That might not be the best route for you. It's okay to trust your gut and ask more questions! Lesley Batson of Rebel Rock Wealth joins us to discuss...

Have you ever worked someplace and only realized, looking back, that it was a pretty toxic place? Sometimes figuring out that we are working in a toxic company, or with toxic people is difficult. So ask yourself, are you being treated unfairly, or are you just needing "thicker skin"? (spoiler alert - if it’s toxic for you, it’s toxic to you) A few weeks ago I saw an SNL Skit that was funny but also a little scary. The skit touched on toxic workplaces, gaslighting, and silencing one's voice...

“I do not think that word means what you think it means” -- The princess bride.   The term “self care” has joined the ranks of other terms that have been watered down, co-opted, or re-defined to the point that it means nothing. I have noticed a concerning trend with self care, it has been used to manipulate, bully, and has been productized and sold. So I asked my friend and selfcare & resilience coach Stacy Fisher to join me and talk about the topic, and how you can find what works...

Have you ever used the phrase "I'm not like other women"?  More often than not, we use this phrase to really say, "I'm not like the stereotype that has been placed on women." Spoiler alert - none of us are.  Women have been trained to be the caretakers of other people's feelings, and when we deviate from that, especially professionally, it can lead to women being viewed as a "Queen Bee." This myth often portrays strong women as the Miranda type boss from The Devils Wear Prada, which...

“In order to build a rewarding employee experience, you need to understand what matters to your people.”  -- Julie Bevacqua How good are you at reading the room? Do you consider yourself to be a Workplace Meteorologist, someone who is able to read the temperature? Or do you need a little assistance to see the writing on the wall? When working with those in an already heightened emotional state, it is important to have self-awareness and realize when you are being triggered. Defensiveness...

“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, "What else could this mean?” -- Shannon L. Alder   Summary: Drama in the workplace is inevitable. Sometimes situations don't seem fair. How many times have you seen or know of someone who received a promotion or a raise at work and can't help but wonder why? What about being rejected for a position because you didn't fit their "workplace culture"? Patti Perez from Persuasion Point Inc and...

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”  -- Brené Brown   Opening our true selves and exposing our thoughts, dreams, and shames can be a frightening experience. Trading our comfort for courage and opening ourselves up to public judgement often leads us to a Vulnerability Hangover. The Vulnerability Hangover was coined by Brene Brown to describe the feelings that wash over us after sharing publicly and stem...

Have you ever been scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and see those little affirmation posts? What’s your first reaction? Have you tried them and found that they don't really work for you?  You're not alone. Affirmations for self-care, love affirmations, black women empowerment affirmations, etc., are some of the most popular "affirmation for" searches on Google.  Why don't you see affirmations for dysfunctional people? Dysfunctional affirmations are for those whose first reaction to...

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” -- Doreen Virtue   Do you ever feel like you’re being taken advantage of? A coworker, boss, or even a friend asks more and more of you. It could be anything from your time, work product, or even your attention that they seek and when you tell them no, they keep pushing. You don’t really want to, but you feel pressured, and you say yes anyway because you don’t want to be rude.         This is a classic...

“Our authentic power is found in our truth. This is the place that shows us how to give what is so very good about ourselves.” -- Jeanne McElvaney   Now that you can recognize dysfunctional situations and manipulation tactics, What do you do? Well, now you work on reclaiming your power! Out of each of the Four Pillars of Empowerment, reclaiming is probably the most difficult one for people to do. Reclaiming your power, your internal self, space, and your own narrative takes time, and (that...