I lie down with Dr. Alexandra Solomon: clinical psychologist, author, Northwestern University Professor, & creator of the internationally-renowned undergrad course “Marriage 101.” In this part of our conversation, we talk about weddingburn, a microdose & my little secret, choosing nonmonogamy out of fear, the gendering of purpose, how she met her husband and recalibrated her ideas of masculinity, the 4 attachment styles, neediness, turn-off, & uncertainty, and the difference...

I lie down with the founder — and host — of Skirt Club, a private women’s club for the curious kind, as well as sex party for bicurious women. Genevieve LeJeune created the Skirt Club enterprise to give women a space to explore their sexuality, without men present. Shelby is her friend & the NYC Event Manager. In this first part of our conversation, we talk about funerals & magical thinking, (doing a British) sex, child-freeness, bed death, the 4pm masturbation break, orgasm, &...

In this episode, I lie down with Geoffrey Miller, PhD: evolutionary psych professor, author of books, out polyamorist, lifelong investigator of human nature. In this, the first part of our conversation, we talked about his family dynasty, growing up with intellectual, activist parents, his Dad’s weekly pre-college briefings (lecture one: prostitutes), an act of sexual altruism, a tale of CPR dummies and lady ghosts of the asylum, 80s cotillions, instant stepfathering, & how marital...

In this episode, I lie down with Devin & Kevin, a wizard and a tarot dealer (another wizard). Devin & Kevin used to host "New Age and Chill" at Kevin's former establishment, Tarot Society, and now they collaborate on "The Wizarding Hour"... as well as a friendship that spans years of email correspondence, and is dubbed WCW: White-Collar Wizards. In this first half of our conversation, we talk about middle school boys, cock-shaming, cum-shaming, sleep-sexing, tinder, penthouse, porn,...

In this quickie, I lie down with Bill Demeritt. He performs on stage and screen, narrates audiobooks and longform journalism. Bill is charming and game and playful and handsome and nebbishy and a leetle bit nervous, all at the same time. In our quickie, Bill tells me a story about pierogis in New York, a callipygous behind, going to Poland for sex (and love), kohana, the word for sweetheart, a romantic trip to Nice, and the Grand Gesture.

In this episode, I lie down with Steve Dean. Steve Dean is a dating expert, a MmmmEGAConnector, an adventurer, a perpetual nomad, and an event SuperHost. In this first part, we talk about my tendency to codependency, Steve’s dating habits, whether connection or commitment requires compatibility, optimization the skill of connection, whether comets are partners, or if they might be growth charts, polyamory as part orientation and part skill-set, and how relationships are like start-ups.

Welcome to part 2 of 4 episodes with my dear friends, primary poly partners, kinky lovers, entrepreneurs, & leaders in the poly / kink People of Color community, Tiana & Orion. In this episode, we discuss the violence of Orion's father, his mother dating abusive men, more than one way to father, poverty & private school, us-against-the-world, compartmentalization, bullying, The Beast, Ren Faire as a black couple, microaggressions at a boat party, and Orion’s biggest difficulty in...

In this episode, I lie down with two of the people I love most in the world, Tiana and Orion. Orion is a massage therapist, a father, a personal trainer, a polysaturated lover, and a newly-minted kink educator. Tiana is the glittersaurus: the sparkliest, most fabulous human I have ever personally known and loved. She is an entrepreneur with a pet-care business, a pro Domme, and a model/stylist for fun. In part 1, we talk natural musk, being a good girl, marriage & divorce, camming,...

I lie down with Dominick Q and Bryan Stacy of The Discerning Dick, a monthly series focused on the forces that shape a man's sexuality, behavior and intimate relationships.  Dom is a men’s group leader, an executive mentor, a speaker, and a writer. Bryan is a sexual health advocate, a testicular cancer survivor, and co-founder of the app biem, designed to allow people to easily get tested for STI’s and share their test results with partners.  We talk erections, masturbation, faith, and...

Season 3! The first two seasons had me lying down with only one person at a time, and this season will often add another guest to my pillow. Dan and Jimanekia are a manager and her client, as well as friends. Jimanekia is a Sex Educator, Queer media consultant, Sexual Assault expert, Trauma Specialist, and the host of the podcast Trauma Queen. Dan — also known as Dannielle — Owens is a queer Femmeboy activist, CEO of genderneutral clothing line Radimo, & Jimanekia’s manager.

This time we recorded while sitting relatively upright: because my guest is my Dad! An Italian-American from Brooklyn, he almost became a priest, but wound up a child psychologist. His greatest love is carpentry. In this episode, we talk about his father, who beat his kids with a machine strap, never told Dad he loved him, and raped one of his daughters. My father broke the cycle of abuse. We also talk about why dad went to seminary, ad hoc sex ed from priests, and why he decided not to be...

In this episode, I lie down with Lee. Lee is a Pleasure Guide: a Tantrika, a Bodyworker, an Intimacy Coach, a Sensuality specialist. She has her finger on the pulse of the Great Mystery, without being a prig about it. In this first part of our conversation, we talk about slow-going sex & celibacy, plant medicine journeys & masturbation, objectifying yourself & faking orgasms, promiscuity as rebellious self-expression, bragging, and driving herself to perfection so hard that her...

This quickie episode (which consists of three little stories, rather than one big one) was recorded live at my last Horizontal Storytelling Pajama Party. I get horizontal with Kenneth Play, my friend, my housemate, and world-renowned Sex Hacker, Sex Coach, Sex Educator, and co-founder of Hacienda Villa, the intentional community in which I live and love, and where I am a founding member. I have been privileged to live in the same house as a Master of Sex. For all the good stuff,...

In this episode, I lie down with Annie Lalla, Goddess of Love and world-class relationship coach. Annie stands for true love. She is a gladiator of empathy. In this first part of our conversation, we talk about self-esteem & soul mates, how couples cross-train, footnoting our parents, empathy algorithms, integration, differentiation, and my mother. For the everything, visit horizontalwithlila.com

I lie down with Wednesday Martin, PhD, #1 NYT bestselling author, social researcher, and anthropology scholar. Her new book "Untrue" debunks fallacy after fallacy about female sexuality, lust, and infidelity. In this first part of our conversation, we talk about social media’s crackdown on sex, the dark legacy of abstinence-only sex ed, male attempts to control female sexuality, female counter-strategies, & the single worst thing to ever happen to women. For everything:...

In this and next week’s episode, I lie down with my college friend, the actor-romantic, Triple Threat, improviser, mimic, voice-over artist, chameleon, ham, and all-around delightful, well-adjusted human, Burl Moseley.   We talk about the the two types of military kids, making as many friends as possible, casual misogyny, “showing out” at school, childhood celebrity crushes, parental PDA, the mom & dad sofa, and trying to undo the damage that Disney has done. For everything:...

In this episode, recorded on my trip to L.A. in early December, I lie down with Bevin, fearless torchbearer of body-positivity and positivity in general, warrior for self-love, creator of Fat Kid Dance Party aerobics, former lawyer, empress of tea, and purveyor of radically colorful fabulosity. We talk about seasonal affective disorder, self-love, self-compassion, self-care for Future Us, fatphobia, multiple coming-outs, and soulmates. For everything and photos too: horizontalwithlila.com

In this episode, I lie down with Samia Mounts. Samia is a singer, actress, voice-over artist, creator of music, and host of Make America Relate Again, as well as the forthcoming podcast Future Love. Her voice is built for stadiums. We discuss growing up on a military base, dry-humping girls at 8, coming out as bi at 14, Sex at Dawn, An American Family Takes a Lover, ordering food while f*****g, “Wild Man,” being multi-orgasmic, and lifelong sexy relationships. For more: horizontalwithlila.com

I lie down in my bed with Shaun Galanos, a 30something silver fox, Canadian/American, 12-time Burner, and the host of The Love Drive podcast, which aims to make sex and love less awkward. He’s also a street performer who gives Free Love Advice! In this first part of our conversation, we talk about cruising chat rooms, wizard sleeves, uncircumcised cocks, pics of naked men that turn Shaun on, self-voyeurism, check-ins, and our level of sexual attraction. For part two:...

In this episode, I lie down with Epiphany Jordan. Epiphany is the Chief Oxytocin Provider of Karuna Sessions, a 2-on-1 deepdive immersion in loving touch. Her forthcoming book is called Somebody Hold Me: The Single Person's Guide to Nurturing Human Touch. In this part of our conversation, we discuss touch drives, the impending epidemic of loneliness, cuddling with one’s friends, ritualizing loss and heartbreak, separating sex from touch, and burying her father. For everything:...

In this episode, I lie down with Epiphany Jordan, a nurturer by trade, professional cuddler, Chief Oxytocin Provider of Karuna Sessions, a 2-on-1 deepdive immersion in mothering energy and loving touch. In this part, we discuss Epiphany’s Muslim / Jewish / Catholic upbringing, sexual rebellion in Reno, Nevada in the 70s, the cyclical nature of sexual mores, society’s touch deficit, and my complicated relationship with my mother, and my mother’s touch. For everything horizontal:...

In this episode, I lie down with Wry of Wry Polytalks, nonmonogamy consultant, kink-oriented Entertainer, consent activist, public speaker, host of panel discussions with relationship experts about nonmonogamous matters. In this part, we discuss making precautions sexy, voyeurism & a hot branding scene, RACK, building trust with a submissive, begging & anticipation, graceful rejection, and a 30-minute adventure f**k with a total stranger. For everything (like photos):...

In this installment, I lie down with Wry, nonmonogamy consultant,  clear-talking, thoughtful advocate for alternative relationships and kinky stuff, entertainer, Dominant, consent activist, public speaker, social justice warrior, and the host of many, many a panel. In this part of our conversation, we talk about playing 90210, internalized slut-shaming, choosing heartbreak, relationship anarchy, PREP, and how herpes is really not that big of a deal. Sign up for everything on:...

In this quickie episode, I lie down with sex therapist Dr. Cat Meyer. Cat is a spritely, sensual whirligig. She’s a yoga teacher, a creatrix, a playful creature, a dancer of her prayers, a licensed relationship therapist, and a reiki practitioner. We talk about threesomes, delayed anger, satisfaction before orgasm, does it still feel good?, yeses and nos in our bodies, and alternative styles of meditation and affirmations. For all the everything, including loads of photos:...

In this second part of my conversation with Pamela, a bodycare witch, sex ed teacher, renegade, instigator, libertine. She’s a warrior of bodily empowerment. Rosie the Riveter with a speculum. She empowers people with pussies to take command of their sexual health, sexual expression, and life force. We discuss holding space, mushing, studying relationships, age-appropriate sex ed, labiaplasty, body sovereignty, and the fertility awareness method. For photos and the everything:...