Dressed to the nines and feeling fine, the night soon goes downhill as Mike gets lairy with the men and cheeky with the women. Some illicit substances and lewd dancing later, the head bouncer makes Mike's enemy list, as he sleeps it off in a holding cell.

Going together like a horse and carriage, the witless wonders proceed to catch the bouquet while gabbering about nuptials and bondage until they're thrown out of the church. Is the spirit of matrimony still sacrosanct, despite Mike's best efforts? There's only one way to find out.

Prepare to burn your mattress and throw it at the screws, as our two jailbait-chasers are on 'lockdown' for inciting a prison riot. With all the time in the world to think about what they've done, Mike and Aaron use their captivity to discuss means, motive and opportunity for imprisonment, as well as some inappropriate gags about prison sex.

Dante judged those guilty of treachery to be among the worst sinners, frozen in the deepest circle of the Inferno, and that's where Mike soon regrets taking a leak. Expect to hear rigorous and possibly infantile debate on the motives for betrayal, as well as a lowdown on history's most famous back-stabbers. (footnote: apologies for the mix-up in the episode, of course the historical figure referenced in the Spanish conquest of the Aztecs should have been Hernan Cortes, not Francisco Pizarro!)

Recognition comes in many forms, but Aaron and Mike only care about the kind that comes with a precious metal lustre in this trophy-laden edition of the usually sparsely-decorated topical radio fiasco. Hear about the many forms of peer approval and adulation as Mike's spiteful envy sees him kick the podium over at the Paralympics.

Our two mutilated grotesques spend a little too long lingering on the more nauseating prospects of body augmentation, including anal tattooing, voluntary amputation, and everything in between. More than a few cautionary tales and wince-inducing verbal images abound, in this unforgettably embellished episode that would leave Dr Frankenstein himself in raptures!

Our two creeping weeds query how Mary-Quite-Contrary's garden grows, while Mike typically beats around her bush, and leaves his green thumbprints all over the scene of the crime...

They see us trollin' - they hatin'. Or we are. Drunken hecklers; catcallers; bullies; all real-life versions of the online phenomena: the troll. As rude as he is gluttonous, you should never feed a troll after midnight. Or at all. Stalking online forums only to sow discord and abuse, it's no surprise to hear Mike having a modicum of sympathy for these love-starved weirdos. What constitutes trolling and what are its motivations? Listen on to find out. Just try not to be a sensitive little flower.

Dropping their kecks, necking brake fluid and firing up the Bunsen burner, our two maladjusted miscreants play with dangerous and sordid implements purely to convey a profound artistic statement to the esoteric masses. Will you get it?

F is for Fat, I is for Idle and T is for....never you mind. Our two out-of-shape oafs illicit suggestions on treating their body as a temple rather than a slagheap from special guest and bodybuilding enthusiast; Greig Ross. Besides the sensible advice, rest assured there will be plenty of roister-doistering from our resident slovenly slobs.

Handshakes and penguin suits all round as Mike combs his hair and watches his mouth for long enough to make a good impression for an important engagement with Her Majesty's Criminal Justice System. What are these strange customs and dress codes we demand of others and ourselves, and what function do they perform? Listen on for a lesson in etiquette and courtesy, soon disregarded and mocked by our disrespectful dilettantes.

Our pair of dense pillars take the piston again, as they investigate what happens when Mother Maths and Father Physics love each other so much that they perform carnal acts to create a functional art baby.

Stock up with Ajax and prepare yourselves for a life of banal drudgery slaving away over a hot stove and retrieving the head of the bog brush, for the Sisyphean theme of domestic labour.

Listen on as our two primates climb down from the trees to see what it feels like to shower and walk upright. While they're down, they restrain themselves from hurling excrement for long enough to discuss the motivations, ideals and patterns of behaviour observed in their close cousins: the human race.

What does Late Night Large have in common with disease? It's always growing. Whether it gives you the shakes, makes your skin fall off or eject your internal organs through your lower colon, /mike and Aaron want to discuss it. Preferably at the dinner table.  (Episode produced before Covid, so prescient as Hell too)

We all like to imagine our perverted voyeurism is somehow both sexy and vital to national security, so here our two creepers discuss the minefield of 'espiolarge'. Highlights include Mike terrifying children at the local swimming pool with his own brand of 'dumpster diving'...

They may not have ever met their Prince Charming, lived under the sea or used sorcery to do the housework, but there is more than a little Pinocchio in Mike, and as for the story of his night with seven dwarves, that's best left untold. Our two cartoonish anti-heroes discuss the globe-straddling fairytale and merchandise behemoth that is Disney, its roots, legacy, and the dubious background of the man who made it all possible...

If we don't get some shelter....we're gonna fade away. All hail the sink estates, yurts, yaodongs and bus shelters for providing a place to rest our weary heads that offers at least basic protection from the elements.

Relax and knock back a few roofies as you enjoy this show devoted to mankind's restorative of choice. We spend one third of our lives asleep, so make sure you maximise the other two thirds with your favourite topical podcast!

What sorcery is this? Sit back, relax and marvel as Magic Mike makes a rabbit appear from out of his trousers. Our two warlocks of whimsy wave their impotent wands around in honour of the art of illusion as they debate the meaning, morals and mysticism of show magic and the black arts.

Tighten those screws, sharpen those blades and stoke those flames: it's time for torment. Like the sick, twisted abominations they are, our two executioner generals pick over the dead meat of suffering, and question why and how it has progressed to such a level. Weapons of choice, length of treatment and desired result are the aspects under the microscope.

If you don't know your go-karting from your geo-caching, or your orienteering from your amethyst earring, then this is the show for you! Our two plucky pioneers wander lost in the desert for longer than the Hebrews as they seek to find their bearings, which you can bet it is mightily amusing.

Anybody who's spent any period of time around Mike will doubtless require some form of therapy. The question is will they require their mind, body or soul rehabilitated? The various forms of professional healing are discussed to death in this thrilling episode.

Listen on as our crafty cretins fail miserably to keep their hands to themselves, and explain how, in the far distant past, man rather than machine used to make things, and how a few hardy rustic folk still do.