Perfectionism is often mistaken for "being perfect" or "doing something perfectly." Many people assume that it must be a good thing. But, in actuality, perfectionism holds us back. Perfectionism often creates pressure, which can paralyze us. So, instead of embracing it as a good thing and giving ourselves a pat on the back for doing something perfectly, we scold ourselves.   In this episode of The Recovery Junkies, Carlos, Chris and recurring guest Kieu Hatch discuss why perfectionism is a...

It's time to be honest.   We've all been there, even the really good ones. The party's over and the lights are on. You're alone with your thoughts and the sense of full-bodied fatigue hits you like a brick to the head. Maybe you stay in bed all day, maybe you go out for lunch at 4 pm when it's usually noon — either way, you probably know what an emotional hangover feels like.   The emotional hangover has a variety of symptoms — ranging from tiredness to anxiety — but they all have one...

There are good things that we want. There are bad things that we want. There is a reason for both of them. Why do we want the things we want even though we know they can cause problems in our lives?   It's human nature to have wants. But if you're like us, you may be having a hard time disconnecting your wants from your needs — or you don't even know what your needs are! This makes it harder to establish a cause or reason for doing anything in particular.   In this episode of The Recovery...

Are you struggling with codependency? Have others told you that you are bound to react in a certain way? Do you constantly worry that these reactions prove undeniable truths?   In this episode of the Recovery Junkies, we are joined by Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Kieu Hatch to discuss how codependency became recognized as an issue and how it is far too easy to fall into this pattern.   Kieu Hatch, LMFT https://kieutherapy4freedom.wixsite.com/kieuhatch   Codepdent No...

Life is hard. Adversities hit us all at some point or another. Relationships end, dreams are dashed, struggles abound — each of these can be devastating in their own way. But when life hits a peak of difficulty and tragedy, there are three tools that have been essential for our ability to maneuver through it all. These tools have made the difference between brokenness and victory in many different areas of our lives. Enjoy another episode of The Recovery Junkies! ……………………………………………………………………...

Life is hard. Adversities hit us all at some point or another. Relationships end, dreams are dashed, struggles abound — each of these can be devastating in their own way. But when life hits a peak of difficulty and tragedy, there are three tools that have been essential for our ability to maneuver through it all. These tools have made the difference between brokenness and victory in many different areas of our lives.   Enjoy another episode of The Recovery Junkies! ...

When we're trying to have a conversation with someone, it can be hard to know when they are stating their opinions versus facts. Everyone has opinions and beliefs about our relationships with others, but sometimes these opinions can get in the way of having productive conversations. There are some questions that can help you identify whether the person is sharing an opinion or fact. In today's podcast episode we share those questions so you can use them as conversation starters next...

The holiday season is a time to come together with family and friends, but it can also be stressful. You probably have a lot of questions about how you should act around your family this year. Maybe someone in the family said something offensive last year, or maybe you're just worried that you'll say something wrong! What should I do? How should I respond? Is there any way to avoid conflict altogether?!?   In this episode, Carlos and Chris share from personal experiences ways to not...

In this episode of Recovery Junkies, we welcome special guest and licensed clinical social worker, Kaila Morrison to the podcast. Today's episode asks: Have you ever been in a conversation where one person says something and the other party just responds with "I understand"? That's not communication. It doesn't convey any understanding, it doesn't encourage further discussion or clarification and it certainly isn't allowing for true intimacy. No wonder we have so many...

We all know that procrastination is bad, but do we really understand why? Is it laziness? Do we have issues with self-control? In this episode of The Recovery Junkies, Chris and Carlos talk about some common problems with self-control and then take a look at research article from The New York Times on what causes procrastination using the lens of self-control theory. Then finally, I will give actionable advice on how you can start beating your own procrastinating behavior today! ...

Being positive is great but there is a fine line between supporting someone and invalidating them. When you're too positive it can be hard for others to feel heard when they are struggling with their feelings. Toxic positivity isn't just about the words we use, sometimes our actions can make another person feel excluded or unseen. We all want to be seen for who we truly are, not what we think other people want us to be like! This episode of The Recovery Junkies has Carlos and Chris really...

We all know that being present is important, but it can be hard to do when you're constantly distracted by the regrets of the past or fears of the future. Regret and fear are two of the biggest distractions we face in life. This constant distraction keeps us from enjoying our lives right now in the present.   In todays episode of The Recovery Junkies, Carlos and Chris share how we all struggle with regrets from what has or hasn't happened in our lives, the toll that worry and fear can take...

The growth process can be a lonely place. You're working on yourself and trying to improve, but it's hard to do that if you don't have support from your partner. What happens when the people closest to you are not supporting your recovery? What happens when they aren't willing or able to put in the effort needed for their own healing? When a partner decides to get real about their destructive behaviors and begins the work of growth and change, they may find that their partner isn't as willing...

It's time to talk about acceptance again!   Even the Recovery Junkies struggle with the word “acceptance.” It sounds like we should just give up and resign ourselves to a life of misery. But that's not what acceptance is about at all! We need acceptance in order to live in reality.   Acceptance enables us to accept what is happening rather than reacting against it with anger or withdrawal; instead, we can calmly face the situation and respond appropriately. Acceptance means acknowledging...

Can't control your emotions? We’ve all been there, right? We find ourselves in that place where we have a really hard time expressing what’s going on inside our head. We let those feelings fester and ruminate and get to the point where we simply have had enough! And we typically end up in one of two scenarios - lash out or shut down. There are so many reasons why expressing your feelings can be difficult, but there are also some things we can do to make this easier for ourselves and...

Welcome back to Season 3 of The Recovery Junkies! We're kicking off this season by diving into our past and exploring how it influences our present experiences. By understanding where our behaviors came from, we can begin to see why things keep happening over and over again. Once we understand why these unhealthy patterns keep showing up, then we have a chance at breaking them once and for all! In this episode we share about the ways we have experienced our past influencing our present,...

In this next episode of our summer series, we draw from the impeccable comedic talents of Bob Newhart, in a 2001 sketch from MadTV titled, "Just Stop It!" The clips speak for themselves, but as always we draw on why they were so impactful, funny, and real to us. Please enjoy another episode of The Recovery Junkies! …………………………………………………………………………… WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Send us questions at our email address: [email protected] …………………………………………………………………………… FOLLOW US...

Happy summer everybody! While we prepare for season 3 of The Recovery Junkies, we decided to come together and record a few mini episodes. This summer series will callback a few of our television and film references from past episodes and break them down to share why they were so impactful, funny, and real to us. In our first miniature episode, Carlos and Chris discuss The Opposite, an episode from the hit 90's sitcom, Seinfeld. Please enjoy another episode of The Recovery Junkies! ...

All good things must come to an end, and this episode is our season 2 finale! In a year filled with so much uncertainty and remote everything, the Junkies are extremely grateful to finally be sitting around a table together for the first time since before March 2020 when the pandemic changed all our lives.   In this episode, we reflect on the year apart, share some of our favorite moments from this past season, what we are learning in the process, and what’s to come for season 3!   Thank...

In this episode of The Recovery Junkies, we discuss some of the long lasting effects coming out of the Covid-19 pandemic. We look at how the pandemic has psychologically and emotionally drained us, physically weakened us, spiritually broken us, and socially isolated us. Listen in as we all five Junkies share their personal stories and experiences from this past year in the form of a group check in.   **If you need help finding professional counseling or support groups, please email us so...

On today's pod, we introduce a concept called "couple shame." We discuss what happens when the individuals in a relationship (red & blue) feel shame about the collective parts (the purple) of the relationship. The “purple” has a combined “us story.”   Join us as we break down the the shame couples often have about their "us story." How is this shame defining the relationship? What does it say about us as a spouse, as parents, and much more?   Enjoy another episode of The Recovery...

In today's episode, the Junkies concluded their three part series about how frustrating life can be when we are trying to live life, only to be sabotaged by the parts of us that never matured, and that have great influence on the decision making in adulthood.   In the final part of this multi-episode series, the Junkies focus on hope for the future. Hope requires risk, which when we begin to see change, gives us faith to risk again and again.   We can get out of our "stuckness!"   We...

Oh the "stuckness!"   In today's episode, we continue the discussion about how frustrating life can be when we are trying to live life, only to be sabotaged by the parts of us that never matured, and that have great influence on the decision making in adulthood.   In part two of this multi-episode series, the Junkies will use personal examples as case studies on how we've been stuck, how to become aware of the emotions and past experiences behind our stuckness, and process of "naming it...

In this bonus episode, the Junkies take a pause in their usual discussion of all things recovery to have a candid conversation about the recent mass shooting in Atlanta, Georgia, the ripple effect of this tragedy and those who are being impacted by the reporting.   Our hope today is to hold space for the victims families experiencing loss, the slain women we know so little about, and the Asian American community reeling from the violence against them. And of course, we want to do all of...