This Isn't Therapy...this is an (accidental) deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we’ve made to reduce...

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about the six types of play everyone needs. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the growing rates of play deprivation and how we've become starved of this essential ingredient for wellbeing. They cover the three types of play we need in infancy and childhood and discuss the three types of play we need in adolescence and adulthood. Let the true meaning behind "fun, flirty, and fabulous" commence! P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or...

This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about becoming a confident, capable, and emotionally mature adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". If you're feeling the pressure to perform a certain brand of adulthood, you don't want to miss this one. Jake and Simon dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?and tackle the myth of the ~fully realized~ adult. This one's...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely.  P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend... Contact: [email protected] Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake...

This Isn't Therapy...this is the second-half of a convo about needs (we love a Part 2!!) In this episode, Jake and Simon are piggy backing off last week's episode about uncovering our needs and are now exploring what happens when our needs lead to comparison or conflict. You know her, you love her, she's a little messy: please welcome to the stage....✨Mimetic Rivalries✨!! DC vs Marvel, Apple vs Google, Simon vs Jake 🥵 - when we become too similar, rivalry occurs....is this a bad thing?! P.S....

This Isn't Therapy...this is a two-part conversation about meeting your needs. What are my needs? What are your needs? How do we meet each others needs?! Oh boy!! In this fun, flirty, fab *throwback* episode, Jake and Simon chat through Primal, Survival, and Growth needs: their evolutionary purpose, self-care, and the difficulty of figuring out what we needs are, in the first place... P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about mimetic desire: why we want what other people want. Human beings learn everything, including our desires, from imitation. In this episode, Jake and Simon go deep and peek behind the comparison curtain to reveal the reasons why we come to want what other people have. If you've ever thought "Ooh, I want that!" or "I should follow that trend..." or "I want more of that lifestyle." then this episode is for you. P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary,...

This Isn't Therapy...this is an episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the surprise solo session with Jake! In this episode, Jake shares two snippets from his weekly newsletter Just Trying To Help. Jake walks us through his theories for how social media is re-wiring our brains, reshaping our moods, and changing how we connect. P.S. Happy Leap Year! Ribbit Ribbit! Read the full articles here: How Social Media Re-Wired Us AllThe Rise of Algorithmic MoodsOh! And don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a very frank conversation about oversharing and opening up about your mental health online. In this day and age, we've normalized sharing everything online, but is it really helpful? That's the question being asked by Freya India in her recent article "Stop Opening Up About Your Mental Health Online." In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the cultural pressure to participate in digital vulnerability and whether or not that's productive or helpful in the long...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a bold, beautiful, and brave conversation about ~scrutiny~. Lol no really, it's an important convo about how criticism, judgment, shame, and scrutiny have their way in the public and personal discourse. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the pros and cons of critical observation and how our judgments help us navigate complex social environments. Oh, and hello, hi to the Swifties and non-Swifties! There's a nugget in this episode for all of you too. 😘 🏈  And...

This isn't therapy... it's the episode where Brené Brown answers a question from Jake about emotions: "I was thinking about the phrase Mixed Feelings and how feeling more than one feeling at a time can make it hard to label feelings accurately. How do we label emotions precisely when we are feeling a mix of feelings and experiencing separate layers of emotion?" This is a clip from Brené Brown's episode on her podcast Unlocking Us: Audience Q&A.

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a timely conversation about being chronically online. In segment one, Jake and Simon talk about Brené Brown’s recent splash back into social media (welcome back BB!) and read an excerpt from her tear-jerking blog post where she talks about taking time away from the internet. In segment two, Jake and Simon chat about the pros and cons of being constantly online and what Jake is #noticing in the therapy room. Articles: "Hard Seasons and Wild Hearts" by Brené...

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about the age-old adage "fake it 'til you make it!" In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about whether or not it's really possible to fake it or pretend our way into a new reality. Through two Lovely Listener stories, they chat through the pros and cons of keeping our cool and trying to be more confident than we actually are. If you're looking to build self-trust, restore lost confidence, or stop yourself from playing the pretend-game, this one's...

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn’t produce the feelings (and lasting results) they...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about failed expectations. Through two lovely listeners story submissions (and an article, see below), Jake and Simon explore the impact of not meeting the expectations others put on us, as well as the expectations we put on ourselves. Woof! Big stuff - especially around this "new year, new me" time of year. How do we navigate impossible expectations? Or unrealistic standards? And how can we maintain progress in our goals once the initial excitement...

This isn't therapy, Mary... it's a celebration of our newest segment! This is the first-ever Asking For A Friend roundup! In the past few weeks, we've received soooo many good questions that we just couldn't leave them all in 2023. We wanted to ring in the New Year by answering your frequently asked questions. In this episode, Jake and Simon answer questions about mom advice, how to make big decisions, social media predictions, first time therapy fears, their own morning routines, and how to...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! ‎💋‎💋  Article: Emotionally Immature Parents By Psych Central Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or...

This Isn't Therapy...this is our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: How the Grinch Stole Therapy. Every Who down in Whoville liked wellness a lot...but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did NOT. The Grinch hated wellness! The whole "therapy speak." Now, please don't ask why, the reason is bleak... Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous episode narrated (and written AND performed) by Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck. To all our lovely listeners, thank...

This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?This one's for all the adults who feel like they’re wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an adult. Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a BONUS snippet from our feature on CBC's Podcast Playlist!! That's right, our lil pod hit the national broadcast airwaves, baby! On this bonus ep of the pod, you'll hear Podcast Playlist host Leah-Simone Bowen highlight six of the Best Indie Podcasts - spoiler alert: we made the list!! Thank you to CBC and the Podcast Playlist team for including us 3  CBC's Podcast Playlist: Full episode (or wherever you play your podcasts!)This Isn't Therapy: Listen to the full...

This Isn't Therapy...it’s the long-overdue episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don’t seem to match the situation in front of us. Don't forget, Mary: Submit a...