Today's question covers various themes: manipulative relationships, breakups, waiting for the 'right person', pressure to get married, etc. It comes in from Phoebe who asks: "Hello sir/ma. I have been in a 5-year relationship for which I later called it quit because it was subtly manipulative on me. I have gotten over him long before I broke up with him through the help of God. I am happy I ended it. So, I told God that I want to have feelings or emotions only for the man I will end up...

This is the question from Abigail which we respond to in this week's episode.

How can long-distance relationships be well-managed? That's the question we consider this week.  As part of my #WhatMy20sTaughtMe series leading to my 30th birthday, Eleos and I did address how we managed the long-distance season of our relationship. We adapted that discussion for this episode of Not Alone Today Podcast. At the latter part of the discussion, Eleos asked some very practical questions which some of us will surely find helpful. KEY POINTS ✥ If you are purposefully busy, you...

Should you be concerned if your fianc(é)e is waiting for both of you to be married before (s)he starts giving you anything? That's the summary of the question we consider this week. It comes in from Bimbo and was directed to Anu. Bimbo asks:  "Ma, my fiance and I have been in a relationship for a few years. The nearer we get to our wedding, the more I'm having to feel more concerned about an issue but I am not sure if I'm overthinking it. My primary love language is GIFTS and he is aware of...

In this episode, Joseph responds to a question that he was asked in the wake of the tragic death of Hindy Umoren, a young Nigerian graduate who went missing after she left her home for a job interview. She was reportedly raped, killed and buried in a shallow grave.  Referring to this event and few other tragic occurrences where supposedly innocent people (Christians especially) were treated cruelly, a young man was prompted to reach out to Joseph with the age-long question: "If God is...

In this episode, we respond to Simi's question. She asked: "I need help. My siblings and I are always at loggerhead. In fact, my immediate brother has left the house to stay with someone else currently. The issue is they believe that I'm too 'Spiri koko' and wouldn't let them have their way in doing certain things they feel is normal. Just this evening,  there was a quarrel because I asked my second brother not to listen to a particular song because of the dirty lyrics, but he insisted. These...

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Liz's question. She asks:  "Sir, how does a lady overcome lustful desire coming from a married man, especially from someone she trusts so much and can't ignore? And how can she help such a married man to quench the fire apart from praying for him? Lastly, have you had any lustful desire towards another lady apart from your wife? If yes, how did you handle it?" Joseph and Anu shared some thoughts in response to this. OTHER RESOURCES TO CHECK...

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Becky's sensitive question which she asked after listening to Episode 005: "Should I Tell Her My Past?" | Having Difficult Conversations in Courtship. Her question goes thus:   "How do you handle it when the secret you are keeping from your partner is to protect someone else. For example, how do you tell the man you are marrying that your own brother or father abused you as a child. This kinda secret can affect the way he feels and relates with that...

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Kunle's question about sensing a call into pastoral ministry. Kunle asks:   "I am at a point in my life where I strongly feel that I have a calling into pastoral ministry. I have also gotten confirmations from friends and pastors about this. So, if I may ask, what is pastoral ministry all about? I feel so unqualified in this regard. Besides, when you (Joseph) were at this junction that I'm in, what was it like? What were the things you had to do?...

In this episode, Joshua and Anu respond to Kemi's question about using jewelleries as a Christian lady. She asks: "I've been raised in a conservative home since birth such that I don't have earring holes not to talk of using earrings. But right from my childhood, I've always desired to use jewellery but everyone around me believes that it's a pathway to eternity in hell. Now I know better. But while I don't want to restrict myself due to people's opinion, I also do not want to be a hypocrite....

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to the questions of Tunde. He asks: "What are the tool kits you engaged with and the persons you followed critically for your growth and development?" Some of the factors discussed in the episode include Salvation, Service, Relationships, Giving, Prayer, Training and Resources, Failures, Exposure, Curiosity and the superintending role of the Holy Spirit.

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to the questions of John and Chioma. John asks: "How should intending couples talk about sex before marriage while also trying to be cautious about their minds and not get carried away? Why should this be discussed before marriage and not till after the wedding? What should be the issues to be discussed when having such a discussion?" Chioma, on the other hand, narrates a scenario where a newly wedded couple struggled with sex because the lady found it...

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Debbie's question about a friend who left his church. She wants to know how best to respond in a scenario where for one reason or the other, you no longer (or never did) like your local assembly. We also offered a brief comment on the recent scandal around late Ravi Zacharias.  SCRIPTURAL VERSES REFERENCED Psalm 68:6 AMPC "God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell; He leads the prisoners out to...

In this episode, Joseph and Anu respond to Chichi's question (directed to Anu). She wants to know her thoughts on marrying a pastor as she's currently in a relationship with a brother who is into "full time ministry" (in her own words).  SCRIPTURAL VERSE REFERENCED 1 Timothy 4:16 KJV "Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee." OTHER RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/josephola

In this episode, we add a sequel to our conversation from the previous episode about handling sexual attraction during courtship. Specifically, based on listeners' feedback, we consider what this would look like for those who are already very sexually active. RESOURCES MENTIONED The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love by Tim and Beverly LaHaye The Meaning of Sex by Walter Trobisch OTHER RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/josephola

In this episode, we respond to Kate's questions. She asks: 1. How do you handle being sexually attracted to your hopeful future partner? 2. How do you handle being sexually attracted to someone else while you are in a relationship with your hopeful future partner? This episode is our response to her question. MORE RESOURCES Joseph and Anu have many other resources which you can find via the links below: Our books: https://author.to/JosephOla Joseph's website:...

In this episode, we respond to TK's question. On one hand, he wanted to know how to process not liking the person God is leading him to marry, and on the other hand, he wanted us to speak into the subject of age difference between a guy and a lady in a marital relationship. SCRIPTURES REFERENCED "Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 NKJV) "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are...

In this episode, we (Joseph and Anu) discuss the sensitive subject of BREAKUPS. We touched on how to manage it and how to do it right (when it becomes necessary to do it). Some of the points discussed include the following: In the aftermath of a breakup, don't minimise your pain, hurt, or grief. Give expression to it. Maximise the learning opportunity that your break up affords you. Take time to heal (and learn) before 'jumping' into another relationship too soon. Even in your pain,...

In this episode, as we begin a new year (2021), we pause to reflect on the lessons 2020 and the global COVID-19 pandemic taught us. A snapshot of these lessons include the following among others: Growth is ALWAYS happening, whether or not we notice it. God likes to dwell in the GRADUAL. Serving God can be fun. Time Management - "Saying Yes" versus "Saying No" The profound powers of technology demand that we STEWARD it well. Personal discipline in sharing stuff on social media....

In this episode, we respond to Theresa's question. She asks: "I've been trying to get my partner to have a mentor since our relationship began two years ago but he's yet to do so. I believe that having a mentor will lessen our fights and help him identify and work on some areas of his life. He says that he looks up to some great men of God but I'd rather he has mentors whom he has direct access to. What would you say about this?" EXCERPTS "It's good to have mentors you are able to have...

In this episode, we respond to the complementary questions of Lydia and Peter. Their questions (asked independently for different relationships) seem to be about the same issue: How to correct one's partner in a relationship.  Lydia asks: "Most times when I try to tell my fiance that what he did is wrong or painful, he always ends up getting angry and ignoring my calls (and much more) just because I expressed my mind. What would you say about this?" Peter asks: "I'm having doubts in my...

In this episode, we respond to Bibi's question on the differences between DATING and COURTSHIP. She asks: "I have a question to ask about Christian relationships. I read a statement that says 'Christians don't date; they court.' I'll like to know the difference between both. It will be helpful if could shed more light on the pattern a godly relationship should follow. Thanks." In the episode, we: explored the differences between dating and courtship, highlighted the pitfalls of dating as...

In today's episode, we respond to Felix's question. He asks: "I was addicted to masturbation but I'm on a journey of recovery. Prior to this, I had other girls that I use to satisfy my sexual urges with and I also m********e to satisfy my urge. Whereas, I'm also in a relationship and practising no-sex-before-marriage with my partner. Now that I'm getting better and on a journey to recovery, my question is "Should I tell her about it?"" Relevant Resource: Joseph and Anu's books titled...

In this episode, we respond to two similar questions. The first from Tracy and the second for John. Tracy says "I've just seen a result today. The lecturer for the course was very strict. In all the three sets of continuous assessments he gave us (which amounted to 30% of the marks obtainable), I tried all I could and I ended up with 14 out of 30. I prayed earnestly, believing in God for a better grade in the remaining 70% for the exams. I studied hard. He repeated past questions; they were...

A listener, Susan, asks Anu: "When you were courting Joseph and your marriage was drawing closer, did you have any fears? If you did, how did you overcome them?" This episode is our response to her question. Relevant Resource: Joseph and Anu's book titled "Marriage in View" available on Amazon. You can check out other free resources from Joseph and Anu here: https://linktr.ee/josephola