I think we've all heard someone say "the relationship didn't work because my partner was crazy".  There is a reason why we think someone is "crazy" or has changed and is different than when we started dating them.  This episode breaks down why this is, and tells us why using this language is a cop-out. If you've ever found yourself saying this, this episode will bring some insights and awareness to help you see your partner from a new perspective.    I hope you enjoy the episode!   I'd...

I share a personal story of how the environment surrounding you can affect your life and your relationship. Many dynamics go into your personal ecosystem... AKA your environment. The people the places, the work, the energy, the mindsets, the habits, and the perception of the closest people in your life will all create your environment.  We often need to remind ourselves whom we want to become and why it will be worth it. This goes for creating a fantastic relationship because otherwise, we...

This episode is for the high achievers who desire more in life, and who are unwilling to settle for an average relationship. I discuss the problems that are associated with these desires. I want you to know that these problems are normal. It's also important to know that these problems can prevent your success, or they can unlock a higher version of yourself if you are capable to work through them. It boils down to a choice- take the easy way or the fulfilling way. I also discuss how we...

This is a tactical episode filled with a step-by-step guide on navigating conflict. If we don't properly resolve conflict we will end up compounding that conflict into something that is unbearable.  These steps are universal for any type of conflict. If you can put these insights into action you will be able to repair, save, or improve your relationship.   If you are having issues repairing conflict, and getting your relationship back on track then working with a coach could be extremely...

We typically get triggered by our partners because we experienced situations in the past that affected our psychology and the way we interpret the world. Many times we experienced situations when we were children (or from past relationships) that left a negative imprint in our memory. When our partner says/acts a certain way that sparks that memory of that undesired past experience we are triggered.  To gain control of this we need to improve our awareness/consciousness: It’s imperative...

Do you have a burning desire to achieve more in life? I know I certainly do.   Does that same desire distract you from one of the most essential and important aspects of your life -  AKA your relationship? For me, there was a direct impact on my relationship when my desire to ‘create more’ went unchecked. My natural tendencies are to gravitate to my masculine energy which usually results in less time/energy tapping into my emotions and my relationship. The amount of focus I put towards...

This podcast episode is packed with information on why it's important to be aware and in tune with our emotions. Below are some topics covered in today's informative episode. **Practicing the concepts in this episode can drastically minimize major problems in your relationship.**   1) -Our body is like a storage closet. If we don’t process the events and circumstances of the past, our body will store the emotions we experienced at the time. Unfortunately, the brain works by...

Are you questioning a relationship or marriage?    *I find one of the most common reasons for cold feet, or fear of the commitment that comes with marriage is because it challenges our unconscious values. *One of the most significant values for men is Freedom. We might view marriage as a challenge to our freedom. We naturally will frame it as Commitment VS. Freedom.   As men, we naturally associate commitment with the meaning of sacrifice. Sacrificing the freedom of time, values,...

Today I talk about the blockages that commonly get in the way of reconnection after a conflict, disagreement, or misunderstanding. *I’m talking about this subject because recently, I’ve failed to do a good job at reconnecting. I’ll be honest, I’ve been insanely busy lately, and I’ve put other aspects as a higher priority than reconnecting with Jess… And I’ve seen the impact. *The importance of reconnecting: If it doesn't happen occasionally there won't be a drastic impact. However, if you...

We can grow together or grow apart. If we aren’t prepared for each different season in our life we are setting ourselves up for disruption and potential failure. “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail” John Wooden  A successful relationship deserves a lot of intention to function properly. I think it’s important to foresee what kind of season of life is coming. Obviously, there will be surprises and aspects we can’t prepare for. On the other side, we can usually predict if our life has a...

Emotional intelligence will lead to connection. We will not know how to have emotional intimacy without emotional intelligence. Both are fundamental pieces to ensuring the success of your relationship. One of the main fundamental human needs is belonging. Intellectual intelligence alone can not provide this. If you are a driven man, who strives for goals, and wants to pursue fulfilment, then chances are you haven’t spent as much time developing your emotional intelligence as you...

I was a bachelor for many years, only living for myself. I think (external success is a much easier game when you are going at it solo)… You can put your head down and eliminate all "distractions". What we forget to think about is that sometimes what we consider a distraction is actually the most important piece of our life. That was my story at the start of my relationship, and I will share how I changed that narrative.  In this podcast, we will talk about why it is necessary to get clear...

Identity-  Is not a fixed concept. It is a set of qualities and beliefs that make one person or group different from others…. We can change our qualities/ characteristics/interests and beliefs. We base our identity on what we’ve done in the past when we really should be basing it on who we want to become. In today's show, I will talk about the ability to change your identity. One of the best ways of doing this is getting extremely clear on the type of person we want to become. There is a...

When I reverse engineered the process that I went through to transform myself and my relationship the first step was believing I could.  I know, I know... This sounds like a bunch of B.S. and fluff. It might, but ultimately who cares if it works! Unfortunately changing a belief isn't necessarily easy. Fortunately, there is a process for it and is fundamentally possible for any person.  If you are struggling right now in your relationship and you are frustrated that you keep running up...

Are you losing connection and desire in your relationship? Would you define your relationship as healthy or stagnant?  We are supposed to be in an incredible relationship, it's what all the movies and society tell us, right? But do you ever take the time to understand WHY it is important for YOU to be in a relationship? Do you comprehend or even reflect on these reasons? I believe it is crucial to reflect and understand all of the reasons we want to have a healthy relationship. Not a...

When we don't fully understand where our emotions stem from, our natural tendency will be to react to them, rather than explore and redirect them. This can have a negative impact on your relationship. In this episode, I will talk about: -How to spot limiting beliefs in your relationship -Share stories of my limiting beliefs -The reasons we have limiting beliefs/their origins (They don't make us bad people)! -How to overcome limiting beliefs.   I'm so happy to be back in the...

I have re-branded the podcast!! I am extremely passionate about helping men in relationships, so I will be revolving my message around that. I think it's so important for a man to continually work on his inner and outer relationships. Doing this in my life has completely transformed who I am (In a much better way). Not only has it saved/ improved my own romantic relationship, but it has improved my entire quality of life.  I hope you will join me in this journey, and I look forward to...

This is the final episode of Surrendering Average!  Along our journey we usually need to make pivots, in order to course correct to ensure we are staying aligned to our life's mission and vision. I will fill you in with where I am heading and what the next chapter looks like for me. Don't worry I will be creating a new podcast in the near future!   Take care everybody, and I hope you will follow along with my next podcast, and future work.:)    Joel

Long drawn out arguments that would stay unsettled for a long period of time was something that Jess and I used to struggle with a lot. There would be a disagreement and the energy in the air didn't seem to settle for a long period of time. I can proudly say we have come a loooong way since those days. We certainly aren't perfect, but we have made massive progress in this area.  In today's show I wanted to share how we have made these improvements, and how you can implement these...

Do you find yourself reading countless books, listening to multiple podcasts, and yet still haven't seen any tangible results?? This episode will break down all the reasons why this might be happening to you.  It is absolutely incredible how much information is available in the world today! We are living during an amazing time where we can basically learn anything we want at a very low cost. Unfortunately, information is not enough to experience change or attain new results. As much as...

Thinking the same way day after day will produce the same results we've got in the past. Familiar and recurring thoughts will populate unconsciously unless we can consciously inject new thoughts into our minds. Over time I personally noticed a massive difference in the results I was achieving. I credit a large portion of that to the thoughts I would consciously inject into my awareness. I want to share why this works, and how it worked for me since it had such a major impact in my...

This is a topic that many people face when first entering a relationship, or if they've been together for a while and may be questioning their future existence together. In today's episode we will explore how love and compatibility are built and IF it's possible to generate one or the other. You will get clear on if you need both of them to have a successful long lasting relationship.  We will explore how intention, desire and the proper frame of reference will all have an impact on the...

Who you hang out with and the daily activities you perform will impact the quality of your thinking, your inspiration, your capability to dream, and of course your ENERGY. All of which will have a direct impact on the results you will create. We've all heard the saying, "You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with". But why is this? We will explore this concept in depth.  I will share a simple, yet profound exercise to implement in order to become more aware of how...

Lately, it's evident that there is more and more separation in the world. Most people take a firm stand towards their viewpoints, and typically aren't willing to see the other side. In today's show I want to shine a light on why I think this issue keeps getting worse. I believe there is always some sort of validity to every side, no matter what the viewpoint is. We often fail to realize this, and with the powerful force of social media, click bait headlines, and algorithms to keep showing...