#255: Our values offer us a sense of authenticity, which is critical for overcoming our emotional outsourcing habits. But embracing our values isn't just personal. It’s also a radical act of transformation in the face of systemic challenges like patriarchy and coloniality. So if embracing our values is so important, why do we often struggle to do it?   Join me this week to learn why being guided by your values matters, what happens when you begin living by your values, and some of my...

#254: Many of us engage in the ritual of New Year’s resolutions without really questioning it. It’s just what we do, right? But this tradition may not be as supportive of your overall wellness as you think. This week, I’m inviting you to consider how you’re using New Year’s resolutions, and whether you want to continue with this ritual.   Join me as I tease apart the practice of New Year's resolutions and help you assess how it's impacting you. You’ll learn how we tend to use New Year’s...

#253: Whether you’re with your family of origin, your partner’s family, or your chosen family this holiday season, there’s one thing families are known for: pushing our buttons. To help you navigate the holidays with more peace and ease this year, I’m sharing one of my favorite tools for dealing with your beloved button-pushers, and it’s called Of Course They Did!   If you often find yourself wishing the people in your life were different, even though they’re doing exactly what they’ve...

#252: Lately on the podcast, we've been exploring the state of functional freeze – what it is, how it came to be, and how to shift out of it. If functional freeze has been your default for a while, you may notice some uncomfortable feelings crop up when you step out of it. That's why today I'll be helping you understand what happens internally once you emerge from functional freeze, and my top tips for adapting to your evolving self.   Join me this week to learn how moving out of functional...

#251: Kara Loewentheil is the internationally-renowned host of the Unf*ck Your Brain podcast and author of the forthcoming book Take Back Your Brain. She helps women identify and disrupt the destructive narratives society has taught us to think about ourselves, and she’s here this week to dive into what it means to take back your brain.   Join us on this episode as we dive into the thought work tool and the practice of somatics, and how both of these lenses are pivotal in releasing what’s...

#250: Jaguar Mary X is a ritual performance artist and creator of Midday and Midnight Medicine Journey. Their transformative work is informed by queer and Black feminist discourse, plant sentience, and shamanism, and they’re here this week to offer their wisdom on the beauty of ritual.    After a life-shifting personal experience with mugwort, Jaguar Mary X has been sharing the plant’s healing properties through powerful ritual smudging performances. In this episode, the two of us explore...

#249: Turkey Day is upon us once again, which means food, weight, and diet talk is about to become rife. This time of year can be particularly challenging for those of us with emotional outsourcing ways of thinking. That’s why this week, I’m excited for you to hear a conversation from a couple of years ago that I recorded with my dear friend, Dana Monsees.    Dana is a Dietitian-Nutritionist and Body Image Coach specializing in neutral nutrition for chronic health conditions. Hear Dana’s...

#248: In the first two episodes of our Functional Freeze series, we’ve looked at the how and why of this debilitating nervous system state, as well as real-life experiences that can lead to it. Now, it’s time to dig into the remedies.   Join me on this episode to hear what you can do to reclaim your one and only precious life from functional freeze. I’m showing you where to start in working with your body, the power of mindfulness when it comes to understanding somatic experiencing, and the...

#247: Last week, we began a vital conversation about the mixed nervous system state of functional freeze: what it looks like in practice and how commonly it shows up for those of us prone to emotional outsourcing. This week in part two, we're asking the question: how did it get this way?   You'll hear multiple real-life examples from my own life and coaching work of experiences that lead to functional freeze. It's so easy to beat yourself up when you realize you're in the pattern, but...

#246: This week, we’re taking a deep dive into a topic I can’t believe I haven’t already discussed on the show – the nervous system state of functional freeze. It’s part and parcel of the emotional outsourcing experience. So what does it mean and why do we find ourselves in it?   Join me today to discover what the nervous system state of functional freeze entails, and why those of us with emotional outsourcing tendencies find ourselves chronically stuck in it. You’ll also hear how it can...

#245: This week, I’m re-sharing one of my favorite episodes from the podcast archive all about how regret is self-abandonment. The regret cycle is one we lean on and keep choosing for understandable reasons, but it’s time to understand why and how we can drop it because the truth is regret is not the solution to the future you want. Hear why living in regret is a form of self-abandonment, and how it doesn’t save us from repeating old patterns. I’m highlighting why we think regret is...

#244: This week, we are reviewing one of my absolute favorite topics to geek out on: polyvagal theory. Polyvagal theory is an incredibly helpful way to better understand our lived experiences and nervous systems, which is why it’s one of the main tenets of all the work I do across my various programs.   I’m sharing how polyvagal theory is an important vessel for getting to know ourselves better, why learning to regulate our nervous system matters, and how to start seeing where you can drop...

#243: Do you struggle to set boundaries with the people in your life? Are you prone to prioritizing everyone else’s well-being first, often not even realizing you have needs of your own? Are you in constant hyperdrive mode, striving to do more and more, only to eventually burn yourself out?   Join me today to learn where overfunctioning comes from and how it manifests in our lives. I’m showing you how it not only takes a toll on our relationships, but our physical, mental, and emotional...

#242: Last week, we talked all about feeling our feelings somatically and the myriad of reasons doing so can help us live richer, more fulfilling lives with more connection to ourselves and our loved ones. You heard in detail why we don’t feel our feelings, and in part two today, we’re exploring the how-to of feeling your feelings somatically.   Tune in this week to discover how to begin feeling your feelings somatically. I’m showing you why practicing this creates capacity in your nervous...

#241: “Feeling your feelings” is a term you may have seen all over social media, and it can be an incredibly supportive and loving thing to do. However, as we do here on Feminist Wellness, we also need to proceed with caution and care when it comes to addressing the emotions that live within us.   Join me this week to discover why you may not habitually feel your feelings, the common fears that may arise about doing so, and how to gain a different way of relating to your emotions. I’m also...

#240: Offering unnecessarily exhaustive explanations is a very smart coping mechanism we develop, usually in childhood. However, while overexplaining can provide short-term relief, it also reinforces the very emotional outsourcing cycles we’re trying to escape.    Join me today to discover the common origin stories that lead to the habit of overexplaining, how it affects our nervous system, and what we can do to start breaking free from this cycle. I’m sharing some of the science behind why...

#239: I’m speaking to coach, three-time best-selling author, and all-around badass Andrea Owen. Andrea helps smart, high-achieving women let go of five default behaviors that leave them feeling terrible so they can engage in better coping mechanisms around shame. She’s here to introduce us to the shame work she writes about in her book, How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t.   Join us as Andrea and I explore the wound of shame and how our emotional outsourcing behaviors act as an armor to help us...

#238: We tend to look for other people to be the main attraction in our lives, to save us, and to be our cake. Tune in to learn the importance of embodying your own cakefulness, and how waiting for someone else to be your cake might be the root cause of your relational pain. You’ll hear why you are the main dessert, how to let everyone else be a delightful addition, and why your whole life can change in every possible way when you step into being the cake.   Get full show notes and more...

#237: With transitions come grief, and whether it relates to death or non-death losses, it’s a topic we don’t talk about enough.   Tune in today to hear three brilliant experts on grief, Briana Simmons, Charlene Lam, and Krista St-Germain, share their expertise on why we suck at grief, and how we can begin grieving in a nervous-system-based and somatically-embodied way. You’ll hear what we need to increase our capacity to grieve, why this process will be unique to each and every person, and...

#236: Whether you resonate with the habit of offering unsolicited advice or you’ve been on the receiving end of it, it can have significant implications on our relationships and be a wicked bummer for everyone involved.    Join me this week as I unravel the threads of unsolicited advice in the name of nurturing healthier, more authentic, and loving connections. You’ll hear why it can cause huge ruptures in our relationships, why it’s the antithesis of interdependent living, and remedies,...

#235: Were you raised by emotionally immature parents? Do you have a feeling you might be an emotionally immature parent?   This week, learn how to show up as the intentional and authentic person you want to be, despite your parenting experience. You’ll hear why emotionally immature parents get to be that way, and my process for bringing in compassionate healing, whether you were raised by emotionally immature parents or want to address your own emotional immaturity as you parent your...

#234: The world we live in makes it pretty challenging for us to feel truly well. When we constantly receive messages about how we’re broken, wrong, or need to change, and all of that is layered with the anxiety of needing to get it all perfect, what we can do to feel better?   This week, I’m speaking to holistic psychiatrist and author Ellen Vora MD. She's showing us why true anxiety can be a great teacher, and how to take kitten steps towards feeling better. You’ll hear why a gentle,...

#233: I'm getting my astrocartography chart read by psychic medium, astrologer, and intuitive energy healer, Steffi, a.k.a The Spirit Sis. Astrocartography is an ancient medium that Steffi uses in her practice to help, inform, and support her clients. She uncovers places on the globe where you should travel to, live near, find inspiration from, as well as places to avoid altogether.   Steffi is walking us through the complex field of study that is astrocartography and how using this tool...

#232: I'm joined by the amazing Trudi Lebrón this week. She’s an author, coach, and consultant for equity-centered businesses, and she’s here to highlight the importance of building a critical equity lens when moving from a codependent existence into interdependence.   We discuss how we learn our emotional outsourcing tendencies, and why we need diversity, equity, and inclusion in all helping industries. Trudi is sharing her thoughts on feeling othered, remedies for when your identity and...

#231: Discover how to remedy the vicious cycle of frustration and resentment around your unmet needs. I’m sharing some of the indirect ways we attempt to get our needs met, why these strategies don’t serve us or those we love, and six ways we can start voicing our needs in loving ways while honoring the other person’s reply.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/231