Watching our first-ever vampire movie. Eat Locals is a horr-medy from the #UK with lots of gun fire and several vampires reduced to nothing butt dust. The vampires than run the British Isles have a meeting to coordinate their way of life. Turns out, one of them has been doing stuff they shouldn't, so they have to kill the guy. Enter Sebastian, a regular human who gets a chance to join their little troupe. Unfortunately, vamp in-fighting, and a small army of vampire hunters short-circuits...

Classic story of what happens when you flush a pet alligator down the toilet. Of course it grows to extreme size by surviving on test animals full of growth hormone, then gets really mad and terrorizes your city. After all, it's got all them teeth and no toothbrush. Luckily a cop and a herpetologist (who is an expert on reptiles, not what you were thinking) are there to save the day. There was also a big game hunter for a little bit, but he fell for the classic "Giant Alligator hiding under...

John Steele comes home after a variety of oonflict, both war-related and interpersonal, during the Vietnam war. Emotional damage that doesn't really come across due to leading man Martin Kove's resting confused face has led Steele to lose his wife, his career and his sobriety. When his BFF and former Army partner, Lee, is killed by an old war-era nemesis, "Steele is Back" and unleashed on a Vietnamese crime syndicate. A million movie tropes mash-up to create this Rambo/Commando/Die Hard...

This week we finish our look at Roger Corman's career with what may be the closest thing to an adult film that Roger put his name on, Dinosaur Island. We weren't quite able to "know it when we see it," though, because we had to watch a version that was apparently edited to meet YouTube's community standards.  In the final installment of the Corman Compendium, Steve runs down what is actually a pretty impressive list of the filmmakers and actors to whom Roger Corman gave early-career...

After being stymied by streaming services on a few other options to continue May's Roger Corman retrospective, we land on another Alien-style knockoff. This one does divide Brandon and Steve a bit and give a glimpse in their different movie-grading criteria. Brandon likes this one for it's splattery, campy toplessness. Steve expects more in terms of production value, set design, and writing. Tell us if you've heard this before. An experiment goes wrong at a space research facility. Expert...

The boys are back after a #Fortnight on the road. Brandon enjoyed a couple weeks in Scotland and Steve was off gallivanting around Utah and Arizona. Sadly, the "King of the B-Movies," Roger Corman, passed away while we were on holiday, so we'll be dedicating the rest of May to his career, in a series we'll be calling, "There MAY Be Boobs." Steve takes a deep dive into Roger Corman's career and we'll review one of the more well-thought-of Corman Creations, 1978's Piranha. Kids vanish...

Some nut with a weird imagination gets all excited when the Winnie the Pooh classic hits the public domain and decides he needs to make a scary "what if" out of it. Being abandoned by Christopher Robin drives Pooh and Piglet to uncontrollable violent rage. Young women have a girls' getaway in the woods. Paths cross. You can probably guess the rest. Not a bad idea, but the execution misses. Poor writing and acting don't make you care about the characters. Repetitive, formulaic violence gets...

A Schwarzenegger-style action movie with more goofiness and fewer steroids. Fictional countries are at odds. One of them hires the Megaforce, a band of skilled, highly-armed mercenaries to handle their dirty work for them. Plans go awry. The Expendables meets Spies Like Us. Silly, unrealistic effects, like a flying motorcycle with 7" wings with no more flight controls than one man's hopes and dreams. Sweet dune buggies. Repurposed Death Cycles from Deathsport. More rockets than an...

A low-budget warm-up to Aliens. A rescue party is sent to investigate a crashed vessel. Tentacles keep popping out of places. An unseen force kills off the the landing party one-by-one, using their greatest fears against them. It's a pyramid, just like the ones in Egypt. Coincidence? If you've ever read Sphere by Michael Crichton or watched the movie adaptation, you kinda get the idea. The guy who plays Freddy Krueger doesn't get killed, but also doesn't make it to the end of the movie....

Off to Scotland this week. Four secondary school students (two delinquents, one street-tough poseur rapper wanna-be, and a diligent hardworker) are set off in the wilderness on the Duke of Edinburgh Award program. One of them wants to do a good job to pad his CV, the other three want to screw around and get high. You may be familiar with the setup. The four soon find themselves in the crosshairs of an upper crust psycho whose annual sport is to kill the ne'er-do'wells who are sent out on...

What would you do if you had $2000 burning a hole in your pocket, access to a university office building for a few hours, and eight friends who all had nothing better to do at the same time? Probably make a movie better than this. Glenn Berggoetz is a magician who, through persuasion or spiked drinks, convinces a few other people to spend a beautiful, sunny Colorado day "filming" a travesty that he wrote, directed and produced. With all the hiking, cycling, and craft breweries within a short...

Close your eyes and picture the 1980s. Well, don't close them because you have to keep reading. What do you see and hear? Aquanet? Bangs? A magazine hidden under a teenage boy's bed? High-pitched male vocals? Nunchucks? Playboy Playmates...I mean Angels...I mean highly-skilled operatives of "The Agency" take down a presumably-notorious Kingpin. It's not paradise all the time. Unfortunately, investigation isn't LETHAL's strong suit, so we never really have any dots connected. But this movie...

Happy Easter everyone! Sometimes giant, sometimes just really big rabbit appears out of nowhere. Sometimes it hops like a rabbit. Sometimes it walks like a human. All the time, it kills people. Unfortunately, it didn't kill the producers of this movie before they had the chance to create this abomination. Beaster Day Final Grades: This movie sucks. Don't watch it. Don't let anyone else watch it. This movie is one reason why the internet is a hellscape. If it could be scrubbed from...

We're going to recognize St. Patrick's Day with some Irish cinema, not watching some shit movie like Leprechaun 2 or something. Irish/English Dictionary Poitín - Moonshine. Stovetop distillery. Don't worry about it. It's just for the cows. Craic - Merry-making, revelry Garda(i) - Police Officer(s) Some projectile from space crashes into the ocean off the coast of Ireland. The local Gardai decide they have to deal with this one themselves, to prevent widespread panic. So they team up with...

We bring in a couple more special guests to provide some insight on the environment in which these sharks menace the locals. Some jackass thinks a shark goddess needs to be resurrected to cleanse humanity or something. Sharks kill people in a cornfield. Bigfoot. The mafia. The CIA Stonehenge. Everything ends up covered in light Karo syrup and red food coloring. Then you movie ends and some of the joy in the world is lost forever. Sharks of the Corn Final Grades: Trash. This movie is...

We introduce a new nominally-named trivia segment to see just how much Steve remembers about the movies we've watched thus far. Brandon demonstrates an inability to convert minutes to hours and minutes. ON TO THE MOVIE In a dystopian future of the future (circa Y3K) the civilization from Death Race 2000 is destroyed even more. Lord Zirpola, the guy in charge of Helix City seeks to demonstrate his military might to neighboring communities through Deathsport, a fight-to-the-death between guys...

It may be hard to believe, but Podcast Guest Host Emma is an even better hockey player than she is a podcast personality! If you'd like to support her and the Arizona State Women's hockey team, a club-level program that has to pay its own way, as they compete for the ACHA DI National Championship, click the link here #ForksUp: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-send-asu-womens-hockey-to-2024-nationals ON TO THE MOVIE In a dystopian future (circa Y2K) highly-skilled racers distract the...

An alternate (true?) historical account of FDR's rise to power and Allied victory in WWII. Franklin Delano Roosevelt is stricken with Polio as the result of a werewolf bite, but that doesn't stop him from leading his Party and the Country like a real BADASS! Bullets fly, hot dogs are appreciated and cacks still work. This one was a lot of fun. Unlimited ridiculousness, lots of laughs, America Wins. FDR: American Badass! Final Grades: Steve "liked it a lot" and gives it "high marks" for...

What if the scene in Office Space where they destroyed the printer was expanded to include violent attacks against the rest of the office workers? This is apparently the premise the writers here started with. Employees at a weapons manufacturing company get dosed with an energy drink that turns them all into bloodthirsty psychopaths. A decent cast. Some good zingers. A fair amount of violence, but a lot of the potential for some good gore happens off-screen. Not necessarily a movie to avoid,...

What would it look like if a high school theater group made their own space-adventure production? What if that group had the assistance of the stop-motion animation experts who produced Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in 1946 or the California Raisins Christmas in 1986? How about if it were scientifically-necessary that space flight suits consisted of extremely low-cut bikinis and thigh-high leather boots? Well, in that case, you'd probably end up with something like Starcrash, a...

Is this movie a critique of corporate greed? Street gangs running amok? The evils of gladiator-style death matches for entertainment? Who friggin' knows? The people that brought us Dragonfight didn't seem to care enough to tell us. We assume this movie is about something, but you can't tell by watching it. You can tell how bad a movie is based on how many times Steve sighs while watching and discussing it. This one was off the charts. Dragonfight Final Grade: Steve - A bar rag soaked...

Taking on a "psycho killers in the woods" movie written and produced by our friends in the UK, although it was filmed in Hungary, a country most well-known as the home of the Vizsla dog breed. We've never actually heard the full "rectum, damn near killed 'em" joke. Maybe there is no such thing. But if there is, it must have something to do with the way Steve...the fictional one in this movie...killed one of this movie's bad guys. As with many of movies of this type, if you're traveling and...

We pick up where we left off in Episode 3, with Martin trying to escape the Nazi Draug. This time, he gets a little help from a crack squad of American zombie hunters. USA! USA! This one has more blood, more intestines and more humor than the first Dead Snow. If only Tommy Wirkola had left the last five minutes out. Brandon stumbles his way through the podcast's first #German language movie review. But, anything to diversify the show's demographic reach, right? Dead Snow Red vs Dead...

Staying above the Arctic Circle, but hopping to the east to visit Finland for our Christmas Spectacular. This week, we'll learn about the Joulopukki and the Nuutipukki, as well as stuff you can put in a bottle of vodka to make it taste...better? This movie earns a solid "Top Shelf" rating from the guys, despite being light on the blood and guts. It's a very well-made movie with an interesting holiday mythology. Be prepared to read subtitles. Cocktail(s) of the Week - Holiday Double...